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I had what I guess you could call a deep and meaningful convo with a woman Im interested in, but it left me rattled.

I thought she was seeing someone and we were just hanging out as friends last night. We had gone on a couple of dates a few months ago when she told me she was seeing another guy, but wanted to stay friends. We did.

Last night I found out that the guy she was seeing is now history. She started asking me about if I had been seeing anyone. Ive gone on dates, but no one particularly special. Her question made me think she might have an interest in me. I boldly asked her if she thought there was still a chance for romance between the two of us.

She gave me an honest answer. She didnt know. While shes attracted to me and enjoys my company, she felt there were certain things about me that she thought might make for a mismatch between us. I pressed her for examples and she obliged. And here we get to the point of my rattling.

She said it was vitally important to her that her significant other have ambition and be passionate about his career. She wants to be with a person who konws what he wants and goes after it. Ive heard this before from others. She said she thought that while I was an accomplished and smart guy, that she didnt get the sense that I was extremely passionate about working at my firm or that I had definite career goals in my mind that I had made a plan to go after. But she still wanted to spend time with me and wanted to know how I felt about her thoughts.

I told her that Im far more passionate about relationships and people I care about and that I consider my work to be just a job. Its a means for me to do the things I want. There are partso f it I really like, parts that I get passionate about, but I find the greatest fulfilment and enrichment in making and nurturing a connection with someone. I dont really understand the compulsion for planning and achieving a certain type of career success. The peeps I know who do that seem to be more driven, more workaholic, and less available for the people in their personal lives, and theyre much more assholish. I dont want to be that kind of person.

She seems to think you can be driven and ambitious while developing a rich personal life.

What I dont get is the importance many women place on their men having this ambition and passion about their career and why being passionate about you r mate isnt more important. is this a mars-venus thing? Women are attracted to the caveman with the biggest club, who can be the most protective, and brings in the most kill? I must be missing something.

Can yall provide enlightment?