Forums

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Twenty-five years old and needs a toy to pleasure himself properly?

You need to sit him down like Christopher Walken did that kid in Pulp Fiction, and drop some science:

"I don't have your parts, but I have a few male friends. Many, some would say. And to a man, it's understood: You don't need a fifty dollar motorized semen-rag to give you a proper hand job. If you can't give yourself the best handjob available... If you can't, as Chris Rock claims (and many of my male friends will attest outside earshot of their better halves), give yourself a 'jerk' that's better than sex with nothing more than the palm and digits you already have, you've got issues, kid. So no -- no Fleshlight, at least not from me...

Here's Infinite Jest. You'll practice masturbation technique a lot trying to get through this."

Now I really want to know what he asked for from Mom and Dad. I wouldn't ask my brother for a subscription to Maxim magazine, let alone a sex toy. Jeez. I must be a prude.