Quote:
Originally posted by 2nearsighted, A ray of sunshine in tough times
In general, I do not trust fancy pants banks.
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Dear Sir or Madam:
According to internal documents from Amazon.com, you posted the aforementioned defamatory statement about Fancy Pants Banks earlier this year on their website as part of a so-called "product review" for a children's toy. Our Client, Fancy Pants Banks ("FPB") has been serving the sartorially blessed in the tri-state area since 1922. FPB has built over 80 years of trust, goodwill, and fiduciary relationships with the men (and since the early-70's, some of the women) of the greater tri-state area. Your provocative untruths about FPB threaten the business relationships of our client and hinder its ability to effectively communicate in today's crowded financial services marketplace.
While our client has certainly suffered damages as a result of your tortious actions, we are willing to enter into settlement negotiations with you or your legal representative on this issue. The first step to successful negotiations would, of course, be a full and public renunciation of your defamatory remarks vis-a-vis FPB.
In the alternative, FPB is prepared to vigorously defend its right to provide financially services to the nattily trousered. We will not allow your defamatory comments about the trustworthiness of FPB hurt the confidence of FPB customers and clients. FPB takes its fiduciary duties quite seriously, and all checking and savings accounts are FDIC-insured to $100,000.
FPB could not be more confident that they would prevail on a number of different theories in both tort and law based on your posted falsehoods- for example- defamation, intentional interference with business relationships, intentional interference with contract, and state securities law violations (for providing misleading financial advice re: burying money on residential lots). These examples serve to illustrate the choice you now face: remain an enemy of the trousered class and face the harsh consequences in a court of law, or retract your defamatory comments about FPB and make a full and public apology.
I look forward to your prompt reply.
Yours Truly,
/s/ Jack Manfred, Esq.
