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Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I think he was hyperbolically saying that many times parents forget the why and only focus on the what. Why do you want them to be successful? For them, or for you? If them, then why?Maybe they'd be much happier as a less successful but more fulfilled person. I'd want my kids to be happy. Screw success. He/she wants to be a musician? Go for it. Success makes people miserable.
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If you look at what I said, I believe it was "want their children to feel successful,
whatever that means to them". ("Them" being the children.)
Feeling successful goes a long way towards feeling happy -- and I don't intend successful to be interpreted as "makes a lot of money and drives a fancy car" or whatever else you're going to say -- I mean, derives pleasure from his existence and is contented with his life. What better definition of "success" is there?
People with a lot of resources have more chances to expose junior to a bunch of different things -- but even the effetest of the effete (whom I know, anyway) don't force their kids to do things they don't like. I know of lots of examples of the moms you seem to be talking about saying, "[Kid] thought he would like [tennis], but he doesn't seem much interested in it, so he's going to try [soccer] next term." (substitute whatever activity wherever).
I get the feeling that the childless among us scorning the childrearing habits of certain parents get their ideas from how kids are raised from television or something -- because it just doesn't square with any experience I've come across, even in the land of the ultra-effete.
Don't get me wrong -- there are plenty of examples of hateful parents -- it's just they're not nearly as prevalent as the childless among us seem to think.
