Quote:
Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
Yeah, but the question of what to do when one party flat-out changes their mind mid-stream is a tough one. For (annecdotal) example: the Mr. and I have always assumed I'll work, and earn a shit-load of a lot more money than the Mr. ever will. We've also always assumed that the Mr. will be primary caregiver when we have kids, and that whatever high-minded occupation he takes on will more-or-less permit that (e.g.: he may work, but if the kids get sick or daycare burns down, he is the one to stay home or figure it out). This was discussed and agreed to be mutually pleasing pre-marriage.
But, what if, upon having kids, we discover that I want to be a SAHM? What if the Mr. discovers that, to his surprise, he doesn't really like all children, he just likes children that he can send home with their parents, but he can't get a job to replace my income? What if, kids or mortgage or no, I finally have a nerveous breakdown and quit to paint bad watercolors of dolphins, leaving neither of us with any viable means of support? All stuff that can legitimately happen.
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And when it does, you must be willing to discuss and renegotiate. And, as someone pointed out earlier, it suddenly becomes about something more than your needs, or your husbands needs, and becomes about the wee one's needs.
I actually believe that everything always works itslef out just the way its supposed to. I also freely acknowledge that I'm a bit of a Pollyanna that way.
Are you like my unknown biological half-sister? Because that sounds an awful lot like my Dad.
From him I have learned that risk is a good thing, and that sometimes it is good to be very brave....
Of course, from Mom I learned that it is very good to squirrel away a little of the grocery money, and that one should never leave the house without a littel lipstick and mascara.
