Quote:
Originally Posted by Icky Thump
Really good stuff.
While I see the attraction of canceling all my work, and just strutting around the office for face-time and doing lunches being that my office was a slightly smaller superspreader event than Sturgis, gonna have to pass.
It's all a power thing. The milenial paralegals have left in droves and the ones who havent quit have refused coming into the office. So what do you do of you if you need someone to bully? You hunt for the weak and the old. You send emails like "You need to file the original documents in the files".
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I'm with you. I was pretty solid politically. I could do face time quite well. But I felt like I wasn't really there. I mean, I was at the lunch, I was talking to the client, but I was always daydreaming. I'd be thinking, "What would these people look like naked?", "Suppose I just started screaming for no reason? How long before security took me away?" I used to get really bored during some meetings and actually have panic attacks from it. I'd just start thinking shit and couldn't stop.
Look at my suit. How about the hair? Here's a bunch of complex sounding words. I'll be economical, so you'll think I'm smart. You already do, because I've been listening while the others were talking. (I really want to pick my nose... I can feel this really crusty one just waiting to be plucked out.)
Now listen to me while I spin - ever so slightly - your dubious layman's litigation strategy. The managing partner is going to get excited too because he knows that's a really expensive idea, but it's yours, and we're making a sale, so it's okay to say we'll research it thoroughly. Ka-ching!
I'm taking notes. I'll throw them away afterward. Mostly gibberish. Maybe I'll put them in a file.
Let's walk through the place, shall we? Look at the people on those conference calls. That glass is really polished, isn't it? Stare into those offices -- be sure to check out Todd's. Todd's all fucked up. And not terribly bright. Future nervous breakdown. But doesn't he look studious?
You pay us to think. Oh, we're thinking. So much thinking. I'm thinking about fucking my girlfriend right now. I'm thinking those are terrible shoes.
Now let's get in the elevator and go get some shitty lunch in a place that has cushy booths.
Kill me.
But back to your point, if you need someone to bully, if that can't be helped and you can't go on without that fix, well... I don't care about you. I have no pity on you. I am enjoying the idea that you are going through withdrawal. Because I think everyone is redeemable, I hope you can get over that addiction and find a better life. But I don't care if you do or you don't because, to borrow from Roger Waters, "you're just another sad old man, all alone, and dying of cancer [or heart disease]."
If a person can't figure out how to enjoy life, if he can't early in youth surmise that time is the most important commodity, he's probably hopeless. I don't know what you do with that person.
