Quote:
Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
Dearest beautiful, sweet grade school teacher,
I can certainly understand and appreciate your reservations. While our makeout session was fully clothed, you no doubt noticed the uncoiling python of love in my pants. Especially after I repeatedly placed your hand upon it. I know what you are thinking: can I handle two diet coke cans of love? While it is true that I have an armadillo in my trousers, let me assure you: I am a gentle lover. Before even attempting penetration, I will gladly go down on that sweaty salt lick between your legs, ensuring that your quivering roast beef is sufficiently greasy. And I will never, ever attemt anal, unless I'm sure that you are really, really drunk. We can make this work.
Love, Anon. Fashionista Guy.
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Dear Anon. Fashionista Guy:
You forced my hand. The real reason you have been so ceremoniously edumped is because the reason I was not quivering wasn't so that a man could eat in peace, but because your roast beef eating skills need some work. Perhaps you should go back to the frat and watch some more lesbian porn with the brothers.
Please do not contact me again.
-Beautiful, Grade School Teacher
