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Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
While we're all agreed on the "she gave you the kiss off so move on and forget it" thing, why is leaving 3 "I'm busy" messages (or delivering them in person) weird? What does voicemail/machines/caller ID have to do with anything? One doesn't say "I'm busy forever" (one shouldn't have to), one rejects a specific invitation, and 3x is the charm (after which the rejector should ask for the next date to actively demonstrate "no, it was a real scheduling problem not a blow-off"). Granted, this requires everyone involved to remember that an appropriate invitation to a date is "I'd love to see you again, can I take you to dinner Saturday," not "I'd love to see you again, let me know when you are available."
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In my (limited) experience, it plays out more like your second example.
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I agree not returning calls is much ruder than an e-mail, but I still think the "kiss-off" e-mail is inherently pretty rude - you just say "no" to the dates proffered and offer no explanation, so the kiss off is implicit. (Particularly one like this which just makes the sender look neurotic.) Again, this requires everyone to remember "civilized behavior 101," which teaches us that one does not press unwanted romantic attentions on others and therefore one should heed signals that said attentions are not wanted (like repeated rejection) and accept it gracefully.
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Just curious, do you apply the mailbox rule to dating? If A asks B out via email, is it okay for B to decline/dump A via email?
