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And for my next trick, a golf ball through a garden hose!
I have a relative who is a pulmonary physician, and every now and then he has to retrieve things from people's lungs. Hurts like a motherfucker, because he's sending a bronchoscope down with little foreceps (kind of like those olive picker-upers) and then yanking to get whatever was inhaled out. But that's a hell of a lot easier than surgery. His best story involves a patient from Mexico City who thought he had lung cancer because of the big ass spot on his chest x-ray. Turns out he had literally inhaled a piece of cabrito and it calcified in the lung.
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"In the olden days before the internet, you'd take this sort of person for a ride out into the woods and shoot them, as Darwin intended, before he could spawn."--Will the Vampire People Leave the Lobby? pg 79
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