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[Atticus Grinch]

Kissing cousins

Rapidly spreading ancestral roots and branches digitally mapped out by the Family Forest Project reveal closer family ties than originally thought between President Bush and Democratic challenger Sen. John Kerry.

Heck, the two are related.

According to a fully sourced ancestral history lineage-linked in the Family Forest Web page, Mr. Bush and Mr. Kerry now are calculated to be at least 9th cousins twice removed. And as more of the pair's ancestral lines continue to grow, the relationship might become even closer, experts say.

On top of that, Mr. Bush and Mr. Kerry have several intriguing cousins in common: Walt Disney, Michael Douglas, Clint Eastwood, the Wright Brothers, Meriwether Lewis, Hugh Hefner, Clara Barton, Georgia O'Keeffe, Princess Diana -- and even former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean.

Other members of the proud Bush-Kerry family include Benedict Arnold, Crown Prince Leka II of the Albanians, Prince Emanuel Filiberto of Italy, Crown Princess Margarita of Romania, Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden, Princess Alexandra of Greece, Crown Prince Felipe of Spain, singer David Crosby and finally, um, John Hinckley Jr.

Washington Times. Registration and mild mental illness required.

Which one of them will have to respond to David Crosby's arrest? I say we should crucify Bush on the Benedict Arnold thing, too.