Quote:
Originally posted by evenodds
Perhaps the true equalizer is whether you feel the same when a man makes those comments to you.
There is an underlying element of sexual aggression when a man makes statements of a sexual nature to a woman in a situation where she is walking down a street or otherwise somewhat alone or vulnerable.
From discussions with my SO and other male friends, there is a higher level of discomfort when they are whistled at or catcalled by men that is akin to what women experience.
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Aha. Good point. There's some meat on that bone (so to speak).
And I actually have experience in this area. The analogy is a good one, except that homosexuality (even in NYC) is not the norm. Therefore, my initial reaction, which could be viewed as negative is more often one of surprise.
The first time it happened (when I was very young and the person was a little too old to be saying what he said), I was quite angry. However, I have no problem with it now, especially since it so rarely happens. Although I will note, I think they have little signals which tell each other they are open, which an unsophisticated hetero might not pick up, like a prolonged stare or a question where the answer is obvious. Awhile back it used to be an untucked hankie in the back left or right pocket. Some thought that the earring in the right ear (in the early 80s) was a signal, but I think this one's made up. But I digress.
I can tell you that when I
am ready for it (meaning it won't be a surprise), it certainly doesn't upset me. It rarely happens, but on occassion when in the village or Chelsea, I will get hit on. No big deal and actually somewhat flattering. Others may get offended that someone might think that they are gay, but if you're not actually gay, what difference does that make? In fact, a friend of mine had a going away party at an uber-gay bar in Chelsea and invited me. I got there and walked all around it trying to look for him. When I found him, he was surprised that I noticed that none of the guys had out and out (no pun intended) hit on me (smiley stares notwithstanding) and asked him about it. He laughed and explained that it was clear by the way I was walking (I guess a tipoff in this particular club) that I wasn't gay. Maybe he just didn't want to tell me that he didn't like my clothes.
So, how does this relate to my question? I think to answer, it probably doesn't bother me because it happens so infrequently, although it certainly wouldn't piss me off it happened all the time.
TM
