Fashion Board 5-7-04 to 6-9-04

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I was standing in line at Starbusk's this morning, waiting a half an hour or so for a coffee, thinking "Sheet, the whole 'dignity of humanity' thing is dead wrong." Its hard not to think Salinger hit the nail on the head when the chick next to you is yammering about how she's going to meet the man of her dreams at the Princeton in Avalon this Summer and the bevy of paralegals behind you is discussing bear claws and which potato salad they'll be bringing to the block party this memorial day. All I needed was a conversation about bingo or two 26 year olds discussing hot stock tips and I would have had a trifecta.

None of them had a poor abandoned animal story going?

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Like I said, we have no evidence as to the relative devotion of wildlife rescuers in D.C. and Minnesota because the banshee-like wails of the baby raccoon faded as the baby disappeared into the stormy darkness before I had the opportunity to call anyone. In a poignant footnote to the story, before I saw the baby raccoon, I saw an adult raccoon running back and forth on a neighboring porch, dry but apparently unable or unwilling to help what I assume was its offspring.

This reminds me of the time my father in law and I had to dispose of a family of racoons that were living in a tree on the edge of their property.

Should I tell the story? It's actually pretty entertaining.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by leagleaze
Poor baby bear. When I was a kid one of our cats grabbed a baby bunny. The screams, I imagine, are similar to the baby racoon screams, it was horrible. We chased the cat around trying to save the bunny, but, no luck.

You all probably recall though, that I managed to save the three baby ducks. I have a picture of the three of them (from the back) waddling away hanging in my study. It always gets comments and requests for copies.

As far as the nature show, I imagine they probably see a lot of animals that have gotten lost or had parents killed. They also see a lot of one animal killing another one. When should they interfere, do you think?

I don't think they should interfere and stop one from killing another one, I'm not quite sure about the lost baby animal issue, but that is probably just because baby animals are so cute.

I used to scotch my cat's attempts to kill rabbits all the time. We had one female cat for 18 years who killed literally everything imaginable. Snakes, rabbits, chipmunks, small squirrels. She'd get mad as hell when I'd catch her in the act and stop her, and I've read that doing so confuses the cat, but I couldn't watch that shit go on. I've stepped on rabbit guts the front door mat more times than I can recall. Saving one or two wasn't upsetting any ecological balance in the yard.

You have to save the bear. Leaving anything to starve because you cannot deviate from your "scientific" perch is monstrous. But, I agree - if a wolf was baring down on an elk, you should not interfere. That's just being a schmuck.

Perhaps its because the bear actually seemed to be looking for aid. I mean, the thing was crying. Hell, it would have been more humane even if they'd shot it. Just don't let the poor thing languish.

I also hate Brits in nature shows. They look so out of their element.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck


Should I tell the story? It's actually pretty entertaining.

Does it involve "euthanizing" them? If so, I can tell you in advance that it will remind me of the time that I read in my town's weekly newspaper police log about the officer called to rescue a rabid racoon. The article described the officer's actions thus:

"Officer McGillicudy euthanized the racoon with his 9mm pistol."

Good death, indeed.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I used to, but I once "accidently" shot the neighbor's dog.

This may be why you now have wailing varmints by your house. Nicely done.

[Not Bob]

Does anyone have one? I've ordered their shirts and (less often) ties, and have been pretty happy with the quality. Their latest catalog has a pretty good sale on suits, and I was thinking about getting one.

For comparison purposes, I am a middle-school guidance counselor, and usually get my suits at Jos. A. Ban.... sorry, just kidding. Most of my suits are Hart Schaffner & Marx or Brooks Brothers (yes, I am boring), so a comparsion to one of those brands would be especially helpful.

Thanks.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield You have to save the bear. Leaving anything to starve because you cannot deviate from your "scientific" perch is monstrous. But, I agree - if a wolf was baring down on an elk, you should not interfere. That's just being a schmuck.

By that rationale, do you tell the 26 year olds swapping stock tips at Starbucks that BlowedUp.com is a shit company, or do you let them buy 1,000 shares?

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Warning: I am not responding EXACTLY, DIRECTLY to Sunny's post.

I was watching a nature show a while back and they focused on a young bear cub who'd become lost. The narrator, who had a camera about 20 feet from the cub, matter-of-factly said some shlocky crap like "ahhh, the cruel dance of nature... this bear will not live to see the next season." I wanted to reach through the screen and scatter the fucker's teeth. Why not drop your pompous detached objectivity, pick up the bear, and take it to a fucking sanctuary? I'd like to leave that asshole in Falluja with a canteen and a compass and film him screaming as we drive away, calmly narrating into my mic, "Ahhh, nature, this skinny British fuck will not see sundown."

I think there may be a Prime Directive for Wildlife Documentarians that forbids them from helping. But they probably just say that on film, and then turn around and sell the bear to the circus once the cameras stop rolling.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
This may be why you now have wailing varmints by your house. Nicely done.

Apropos of nothing, I believe that the Wailing Varmits was the headline act at the club where Flower first acknowledged his love for spinning hippy chicks.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Apropos of nothing, I believe that the Wailing Varmits was the headline act at the club where Flower first acknowledged his love for spinning hippy chicks.

I see. I'm starting to think that the "accident" was no accident.

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

So, here's the story of me and my father in law disposing of a family of racoons.

My in-laws live out in the country on about 10 acres of property that is fairly wooded. Being in the country, they are prone to having mice and other rodents scurying about their property. To control such pests, they always have cats.

Well, raccoons and badgers and things like that also find their way onto the property from time to time. Raccoons and badgers don't really like cats. Well, they like to eat them, I guess. The cats, however, are needed to control the population of mice and other rodents.

Anyway, one weekend night this spring when my wife and I were staying out there, we heard some hissing from the cats. We went outside to see what all the commotion was. Usually, it's a tom cat that comes around looking to score, but this time we saw the resident tom hissing at a rather scary looking raccoon. The raccoon decided not to fight and retreated up a nearby tree and disappeared. So, we figured it probably lived it that tree.

The next day, we got a ladder out, loaded up the .22 and decided we had to kill the raccoon while she (yes, it was a she. more on that later) was sleeping in order to make sure the cats wouldn’t get killed. We couldn’t get a good view into the hole it was living in, so we just pointed the muzzle of the .22 in there and fired off about 5 shots. We heard this awful screaming sound and decided to climb back down the ladder. About 30 seconds later, the raccoon crawled out of the tree and fell to its death. We must’ve hit it a few times, as it was bloody when it appeared from the hole.

Problem solved.

Or so we thought. The next day, we were out mowing the lawn and heard some noise coming from the same hole in the tree. We got the ladder out again and tried to get a better look in the hole. To our surprise, there were about 5 baby raccoons in there. They were probably starving since they hadn’t been fed in a day. So, we decided to put them out of their misery.

We needed a way to get them out of the hole, though, since we couldn’t reach down in there to get them (hole was too deep). So, we got out the garden hose and began flooding them out. As PLF already said, water + baby raccoons = really bad. The screaming began almost immediately, which roused the interest of the cats.

Eventually, the baby raccoons climbed out of the hole. We grabbed them and threw them down to the cats, who had a fun afternoon playing with their new toys.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by LessinSF
1. SF cop porno stars:



Porn site with video here - http://www.busstopwhores.com/index.p...arned&warned=y . Scroll down to see the stills of "Mira" in action. Not great looking, but if I have to be in jail, she'll do.

Can you post photos on the all nude all the time board?

TM

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
[racoon snuff]

You're just saying all this to try to get laid, right?

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
To our surprise, there were about 5 baby raccoons in there. They were probably starving since they hadn’t been fed in a day. So, we decided to put them out of their misery.

Well, one way to get rid of the ass-licker reputation is to displace it with the baby-racoon-killer epithet.

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Well, one way to get rid of the ass-licker reputation is to displace it with the baby-racoon-killer epithet.

Would you have preferred that we let them starve to death like the baby bear?