Quote:
Originally posted by mmm3587
There are plenty of valid reasons for not having sex with someone on the first date, like it was kind of a low-key date, not sure whether the person is interesting or psycho, etc. People find each other fuckable for different reasons, and that might not all come out on the first date.
But not having sex just for the sake of not having sex is stupid. If both people are into it, why not just have some fun? In my experience, people not into that kind of fun first date fucking activity don't trust their own feelings, usually either because of bad past relationships or because they are down with God. And those are big red flags there, at least for me.
I will reserve judgment on the "I really like the other person and want to fuck them, but want to see if they're into me before I fuck them[1]" crowd, but that's not for me.
This discussion also segues nicely into the "numbers" discussion, specifically how many is too few or too many. I am very nervous about sleeping with someone with fewer than 15 or so previous lovers, but I haven't met someone who number was too high.
I'm also curious whether sexual assault victims count that in their numbers. The current future ex-Mrs. mmm very having a very frank discussion about rape, and she was telling me that she didn't count the time that she was raped in her number. She wanted to know whther I thought that was illegitimate. I told her that I thought that was a tough call to make, but that she should do whatever she thought was right. Bullet dodged, I think.
[1] This grammar grates, but the "he or she" and "him or her" are too comically untenable in this situation.
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From Savage Love:
I'm very attracted to a girl who has had a very large number of sexual partners. She wouldn't tell me exactly how many, but she did say that it was several times her age! (She's 21.) I'm a little uneasy about this for disease-related and psychological reasons, and also because I'm a virgin. What should I do?
Sexual Mismatch
When a virgin and a lovertine cross paths, SM, the virgin, provided he's careful, usually walks away the winner. Tell this lovertine that you dig her, but that 1) you're a virgin, and 2) you're concerned about disease. If she's willing to get an STD screening and use condoms, you should emerge from this relationship relatively unscathed and infinitely more knowledgeable.
http://www.theonionavclub.com/savage...php?issue=4039
(spree: Savage Love)
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