Where the Kids Come to Mouth Off

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Woods and Mickelson just lost to fucking Paddy Harrington and Colin Montgomerie. What the fuck?

The US is down 2-0 (about to be 3-0) and we're all square in one match. So, we could get swept this morning.

How is it that these guys can't seem to play together? You wouldn't think that the ability to play as a team would be so important in these matches, but it's a skill our guys just don't seem to have. Anyone have a theory on this?

Whoever had Larry Brown (of the latest Dream Team shame*) give a motivational speech to our players wasn't thinking.

Interesting articles at espn.com and boston.com over the last couple of days. Both have mentioned how light and loose the Euros are - signing autographs, posing for pictures, chatting with fans. The US on the other hand is all business all the time. They are not signing autographs or posing for pictures, they are adhering to (or hiding behind) the Ryder Cup's policy of NO AUTOGRAPHS AT ANY TIME!

I've played on uptight teams and loose teams. The looser teams always had more success.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Woods and Mickelson just lost to fucking Paddy Harrington and Colin Montgomerie. What the fuck?

The US is down 2-0 (about to be 3-0) and we're all square in one match. So, we could get swept this morning.

How is it that these guys can't seem to play together? You wouldn't think that the ability to play as a team would be so important in these matches, but it's a skill our guys just don't seem to have. Anyone have a theory on this?

I was going to go into the whole dynamic of relying on individual talent (the US way), versus reliance on teamwork, but I think in this case it boils down to a single point: the American team's wives and girlfriends are much much hotter than Europe's. Hell, Monty even lost his wife to Hugh Grant. So what I'm really saying here is that women drain men's power, and the American women are at fault because they keep themselves hot.

Thank you.

[ilikenewsocks]

Originally posted by bilmore
I shave every day.

Then how do you explain this?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Woods and Mickelson just lost to fucking Paddy Harrington and Colin Montgomerie. What the fuck?

But who's got better tits, Montgomerie or Mickelson? I'm guessing Mick has perfect teardrops since the surgery and Monty's are very saggy and flat.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
When did Oprah revive her book club? I thought she scuttled it after the fuss with Jonathan Franzen wanting to take the money but also let everyone know that he was better and artier than her readers.

Think about what you just wrote.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
Interesting articles at espn.com and boston.com over the last couple of days. Both have mentioned how light and loose the Euros are - signing autographs, posing for pictures, chatting with fans. The US on the other hand is all business all the time. They are not signing autographs or posing for pictures, they are adhering to (or hiding behind) the Ryder Cup's policy of NO AUTOGRAPHS AT ANY TIME!

I've played on uptight teams and loose teams. The looser teams always had more success.

Hmm, maybe my theory is all wrong then. It is the American womens' fault for looking so hot yet not putting out, which has their men all on edge. Shame on you, American women.

Thank you.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
I was going to go into the whole dynamic of relying on individual talent (the US way), versus reliance on teamwork, but I think in this case it boils down to a single point: the American team's wives and girlfriends are much much hotter than Europe's. Hell, Monty even lost his wife to Hugh Grant. So what I'm really saying here is that women drain men's power, and the American women are at fault because they keep themselves hot.

Thank you.

An excellent theory, Flinty. Nothing to do with my own post, I'm just using yours as a jumping off post.

I think the Ryder Cup should be like a World Cup, like soccer. It strikes me as missing something when #1 in the world and #7 and #3 and #5 (I think - not sure exactly where Ernie Els and Retief Goosen and Adam Scott and Mike Weir are in the top 10, but I think they are all in there) are not in the tournament. I know there is the President's cup, but that doesn't have Europe. So why not get rid of it and then have three divisions - like US, Europe and the rest. Then it would be a real international team competition with all the best in the world.

edited to add Mike Weir: wtf is wrong with me

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
An excellent theory, Flinty. Nothing to do with my own post, I'm just using yours as a jumping off post.

I think the Ryder Cup should be like a World Cup, like soccer. It strikes me as missing something when #1 in the world and #7 and #3 and #5 (I think - not sure exactly where Ernie Els and Retief Goosen and Adam Scott are in the top 10, but I think they are all in there) are not in the tournament. I know there is the President's cup, but that doesn't have Europe. So why not get rid of it and then have three divisions - like US, Europe and the rest. Then it would be a real international team competition with all the best in the world.

I agree. And let's see more hot Canadian, Fijian and South African women who we can then blame later.

Thank you.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Um, hello? Middle-aged attorney "from the suburbs"? It is obviously Bilmore. Speaking of Bilmore, there is a town in West Virginia where the Army Corps of Engineers once a year starts opening the dam in spurts to drain the artifical lake behind it. This causes a kind of limited festival for rafters and, yes, kayakers. The NYT article discusses the clash between the rafting/kayaking set and the locals. One quote caught my eye:



http://travel2.nytimes.com/2004/09/1...AUL.html?8hpib

Is Matt really describing a difference in morals? Not shaving?

Its best these two groups remain at odds over ideolgogy and grooming. Were the hicks to pull Stonewall Jacksons* with the crunchy kids, the result could be "Country-Metal." Think. Of. The. Children.

* Inhale, swallow swig of liquor/beer/wine/nitrous, etc... then exhale. Tasty.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Then it would be a real international team competition with all the best in the world.

Mr Ryder is rolling over in his grave again. But still not as much as George Schuyler, Capt. America.

Switzerland on an arm of the sea?

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
But who's got better tits, Montgomerie or Mickelson? I'm guessing Mick has perfect teardrops since the surgery and Monty's are very saggy and flat.

According to the articles I read, Montie has lost 30-40 pounds in recent months. Based on that news, I'd guess that Mick's are bigger.

Montie's wife left him for Hugh Grant? WTF? I'd take the succesful golf pro over the horsey faced actor anyday. Maybe I can head to Detroit and cheer Montie up. I know he's not much to look at, but he spends most of his time golfing right? He can golf, I'll play soccer and travel. He also has that great Scottish accent and isn't afraid of wearing a kilt. Mmmmm, boys in kilts.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I did not shave today. I think we know in which moral camp I fall.

I generally shave every other/every third day unless I'm wearing a formal-looking suit. What's the reason? I mean, really... my apperance is not diminished in any way by some five o clock shadow. I have a full beard, so I don't look like some cheesedick from a dance club trying to impress "da ladies." Shaving should be done away with entirely, even for the ladies. Its their choice. If they want to let it grow, they should have that right. Of course, men will retain the right to not talk to them, but they have the similar right not to talk to unshaven men like me. Now, mind you... I am not advocating everybody going ZZ Top or Patti Smith style. I'm thinking more along the lines of just developing an accpetance for facial stubble. I think such acceptance will also help do away with the goatee, which is really just a loophole around the anti-stubble policies of many uptight offices.

And yes, with a less formal looking suit, I will keep the stubble. Why not? Its better than fucking shave rash.

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Hmm, maybe my theory is all wrong then. It is the American womens' fault for looking so hot yet not putting out, which has their men all on edge. Shame on you, American women.

Thank you.

Well Tiger could be cranky since he and the GF have allegedly broken up. No news on whether Hugh Grant was involved.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
Well Tiger could be cranky since he and the GF have allegedly broken up. No news on whether Hugh Grant was involved.

Tiger hooked up with Hugh Grant? That guy really gets around. Shame on you, Hugh Grant.

Thank you.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
Well Tiger could be cranky since he and the GF have allegedly broken up.

falling on sword...........

My mom says he's mo better now....