Where the Kids Come to Mouth Off

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by mmm3587
There are plenty of valid reasons for not having sex with someone on the first date, like it was kind of a low-key date, not sure whether the person is interesting or psycho, etc. People find each other fuckable for different reasons, and that might not all come out on the first date.

But not having sex just for the sake of not having sex is stupid. If both people are into it, why not just have some fun? In my experience, people not into that kind of fun first date fucking activity don't trust their own feelings, usually either because of bad past relationships or because they are down with God. And those are big red flags there, at least for me.

I will reserve judgment on the "I really like the other person and want to fuck them, but want to see if they're into me before I fuck them[1]" crowd, but that's not for me.

This discussion also segues nicely into the "numbers" discussion, specifically how many is too few or too many. I am very nervous about sleeping with someone with fewer than 15 or so previous lovers, but I haven't met someone who number was too high.

I'm also curious whether sexual assault victims count that in their numbers. The current future ex-Mrs. mmm very having a very frank discussion about rape, and she was telling me that she didn't count the time that she was raped in her number. She wanted to know whther I thought that was illegitimate. I told her that I thought that was a tough call to make, but that she should do whatever she thought was right. Bullet dodged, I think.

[1] This grammar grates, but the "he or she" and "him or her" are too comically untenable in this situation.

From Savage Love:

I'm very attracted to a girl who has had a very large number of sexual partners. She wouldn't tell me exactly how many, but she did say that it was several times her age! (She's 21.) I'm a little uneasy about this for disease-related and psychological reasons, and also because I'm a virgin. What should I do?
Sexual Mismatch

When a virgin and a lovertine cross paths, SM, the virgin, provided he's careful, usually walks away the winner. Tell this lovertine that you dig her, but that 1) you're a virgin, and 2) you're concerned about disease. If she's willing to get an STD screening and use condoms, you should emerge from this relationship relatively unscathed and infinitely more knowledgeable.

http://www.theonionavclub.com/savage...php?issue=4039

(spree: Savage Love)

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by mmm3587
It's not a hard limit, but say that you, a virulent lad,

Gatti has hpv?

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
A good mentor often gains from the relationship.

Actually, sexual mentoring is exactly the kind of mentoring that does go on at my firm. How far is "I like it this way. Put your mouth there. Deeper! Harder!" from "Edit that document this way. Don't try to come up with a special, better way to do it. We've always done it that way. I don't care if it's not market. I was a lawyer before you were born. What is the internet? Deeper! Harder!"

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by mmm3587
Each person has to come up with his or her own scheme for counting lovers based on activity, sex, race, lizardness, etc.

Yeah, but a minimum is silly. A girl who has fucked her (one and only) boyfriend every which way under the moon 3000 times is going to be more experienced that the girl who has had 15 one-night stands.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by LessinSF
When you meet them wearing only a bra for a top at the Folsom Street Fair, the minimum is rebuttably presumed.

I'm all about the kink and all, but didn't you feel kinda silly wearing only a bra for a top at the Folson Street Fair? I mean, you might not stand out next to the leash-and-ball gag crowd, but still...

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Yeah, but a minimum is silly. A girl who has fucked her (one and only) boyfriend every which way under the moon 3000 times is going to be more experienced that the girl who has had 15 one-night stands.

Honey, Sequels didn't learn all of that from you. She told you that you're the first and only because she's worried you've got a virgin/whore complex.

[mmm3587]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Yeah, but a minimum is silly. A girl who has fucked her (one and only) boyfriend every which way under the moon 3000 times is going to be more experienced that the girl who has had 15 one-night stands.

That's an interesting discussion to have, and there are all sorts of reasons why one might be better than the other. However, I always value empirical evidence over theory, so I'll just try them both and report back.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Gatti has hpv?

Ahem. Hellooooooooo, no.

You know, between all the work surrounding the collective and trying to tend to friendships, these nasty rumors are the best way to kill well-laid plans.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Honey, Sequels didn't learn all of that from you. She told you that you're the first and only because she's worried you've got a virgin/whore complex.

I'm the one who treats queens like whores and whores like queens, remember? Remember how nice I was to you?

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by mmm3587
You're only supposed to use it once.



Given that men carry HPV without symptoms and can't be tested for it, it just seems that total number might factor into the speed with which people would decide not to use condoms.

eta DAMN YOU FLOWER!

Heh. Even before I became a lesbian, I went to a lot of gay pride parades. I may be cheap, but I have a lot of condoms.

Yeah, the total number is probably a factor, and yeah, there's no way of knowing, and yeah a hell of a lot of people have it. And the alternative is to either start trolling the high schools and star trek conventions (though there's a hell of a lot of sex at some of the cons) for virgins or do a case by case assessment on when the condoms come off.

[LessinSF]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
I'm all about the kink and all, but didn't you feel kinda silly wearing only a bra for a top at the Folson Street Fair? I mean, you might not stand out next to the leash-and-ball gag crowd, but still...

You haven't seen me in a bra.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Recently deceased snakes can still reflexively bite people. You'd have to be messing around with the corpse, though, for that to happen.

Are you and I the only two on this board who watch Discover?

Thurgreed(changes the channel when anything related to kayaking comes on)Marshall*

* I'm bringing this back.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Heh. Even before I became a lesbian, I went to a lot of gay pride parades. I may be cheap, but I have a lot of condoms.

Yeah, the total number is probably a factor, and yeah, there's no way of knowing, and yeah a hell of a lot of people have it. And the alternative is to either start trolling the high schools and star trek conventions (though there's a hell of a lot of sex at some of the cons) for virgins or do a case by case assessment on when the condoms come off.

K'plah!

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by mmm3587
This discussion also segues nicely into the "numbers" discussion, specifically how many is too few or too many. I am very nervous about sleeping with someone with fewer than 15 or so previous lovers, but I haven't met someone who number was too high.

I will avoid the many jokes in this paragraph and just ask: Why would you be nervous about sleeping with someone with fewer than 15 previous partners? Doesn't make sense to me. Does it mean they don't have enough experience or variety? Does it mean the person has more baggage because they were more likely to be in a serious relationship?

Is there no number that's too high? I think people who post here are a little full of shit when it comes to this. Everbody wants to seem so progressive (this discussion has been had here before). But everyone has a number. Would you be comfortable being in a relationship with a 24-yr old woman who has had 100 partners? 200?

Originally posted by mmm3587
I'm also curious whether sexual assault victims count that in their numbers. The current future ex-Mrs. mmm very having a very frank discussion about rape, and she was telling me that she didn't count the time that she was raped in her number. She wanted to know whther I thought that was illegitimate. I told her that I thought that was a tough call to make, but that she should do whatever she thought was right. Bullet dodged, I think.

I would be willing to bet that women who have been raped don't count this in their numbers. I would think that when you're thinking about sexual experiences, you think about consensual experiences where you are giving something to and accepting something from someone else.

Also, I would think that the proper response would be, "Don't worry about whether including such an experience in your number is appropriate or not. Anyone who would judge you for not including it is a fucking asshole you shouldn't consider screwing anyway."

TM

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
K'plah!

So, out of abject boredom, I actually Googled "K'plah." What is interesting is not that I learned that it is some Klingon word. What is interesting is that my search only came up with 98 hits. Although I do not have a great depth of knowledge about Trekkies and their ways, I do know the following: 1) they are quite adept at learning the fake languages spoken by the fake alien races in the Star Trek shows in order to form a secret fake-alien-language-speaking club that helps further distinguish them from people with lives, and 2) 98% of all of their non-convention related communication is done via the internet. The fact that you have used a word that is so obscure that is has a relatively negligible cyber-presence means you are probably among the inner circle of the fake-alien-language-speaking club. You probably also can fluently translate elfen to gnome, or whatever fake middle earth languages are spoken by the Lord Of The Rings equivalent of Trekkies. Which is troubling, because you seemed like such a nice chap.