Where the Kids Come to Mouth Off

[LessinSF]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
That bear has a choad. Or a chode. Whichever way you spell it.

Never heard of this band, but I am listening to their song Lobsters, Cocaine and Whores right now.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
If you had said you'd rather have an apicoectomy, then you'd be saying something about flying SW.

Try a colonoscopy. althought the guarenteed on time takeoffs make up for the horror on flights less than 2 hours.

[NotFromHere]

One of a handful of innovative and/or silly projects aimed at getting out the youth vote, Votergasm.org claims it has in recent weeks signed up 30,000 prospective voters, all of whom have pledged to cast ballots and have sex with at least one other voter on Election Day, shun those who don’t vote, or both.

President Michelle Collins, a 23-year-old aspiring comedian, said the group is still hoping to achieve its goal of 100,000 anti-chastity vows by Election Day. If it doesn’t, she conceded, it will make the stated goal of generating 250,000 orgasms by the morning after Election Day all the more challenging.

Some critics, notably conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh, have charged that the drive is a thinly veiled “sex-for-votes” scheme aimed at boosting turnout for Democratic candidate John Kerry.

But Collins said the effort is "nonpartisan but pro-partying" and does not amount to political prostitution.

“We don’t see it as selling or trading sex,” she said. “We think sex is a beautiful thing that — like voting — many young people don’t realize that they should be participating in,” she said.

The Votergasm project was dreamed up in May by Collins and a group of friends and recent graduates from Harvard and Columbia Universities and the University of Wisconsin, Madison, nearly all of whom are either working in comedy — one is a current writer for the satirical Web site The Onion — or aspire to do so.

It also states that the sex must be “consensual and safe,” then lists sexual positions that will qualify in terms of pledge fulfillment: “Missionary, doggy-style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, leapfrog, butterfly, humpback whale, cling wrap, squashing of the deck chair, accordion, reverse piggy-back, advanced ("twin") leapfrog.”

Someone please tell me what advanced twin leapfrog is. Less? Fringey?

eta linkage (spree - it's MSNBC surprisingly enough - talking about reverse cowgirl - how very progressive of them

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Gattigap
At which point, according to the Post's version that we repeated, Guilfoyle Newsom said: "Not unless you can give a better,'' while she mimicked eating a banana.

It's important to note that Ms. Guilfoyle Newsom (a.) admits to saying all of the above, and denies only the mimicking of oral sex using a hand gesture; and (b.) is a former underwear model.

"Former underwear model" are three of the happiest words in the Queen's English, second only to "current underwear model." Is your mayor's wife a former. underwear. model? I thought not.

[Not Me]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch

Her face is incredibly square. And not in a good way. Perhaps she should model the underwear on her face.

[Atticus Grinch]

A heartfelt thank you to whomever posted the link to Query Letters. This may very well sustain me until death:

• "Two die-hard 'Big Trouble in Little China' fans are on a quest to recover Kurt Russell's tank top after being outbid at an online auction."

[dc_chef]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I had a dream that I gave my boyfriend a blow job.

When I woke up, I decided to give my boyfriend a blow job.

What does it all mean?!?!?!

It means you should call my wife and discuss it with her.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
[IMG]http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=crotch+kick/v=2/SID=e/l=IVS/SIG=11vvk8sub/*-http%3A//www.progressivetacticalsystems.com/womensselfd2.jpg[/IMG]

Now I'm not going to shave my 'stache for you.

Also, I like your ass in those sexy black jeans!

Where did you find the picture of Rhea Perlman kicking John Oates in the nuts?

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I'm outgoing and attractive.

I am a good dancer when I am drunk.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

I need a Halloween costume.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I am a good dancer when I am drunk.

I'm an excellent driver.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I need a Halloween costume.

Sexy witch.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I need a Halloween costume.

The best costume I saw last year was "Jackass: the final episode." Friend in jeans and tee shirt, all ripped to hell, blood everywhere, bones sticking out, scalp peeling away. I think he just grabed every latex wound at the costume shop and painted them on. He'd walk up to people and say "I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is Jackass."

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
The best costume I saw last year was "Jackass: the final episode." Friend in jeans and tee shirt, all ripped to hell, blood everywhere, bones sticking out, scalp peeling away. I think he just grabed every latex wound at the costume shop and painted them on. He'd walk up to people and say "I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is Jackass."

I was thinking of Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer or Johnny Damon. Both would require the same wig.

[ilikenewsocks]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I need a Halloween costume.

Tommy Lee.

Or, if you don't have the physique to pull that off, Ron Jeremy.