Fashion Board 6-9-04 to 7-13-04

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by Anttwat
Is that so? Perhaps you should have informed some of us.

I thought he had you all outsourced. How's your fluency in Hindi?

[Anttwat]

Originally posted by Aloha Mr. Learned Hand
I thought he had you all outsourced. How's your fluency in Hindi?

That was the original plan. But selective downsizing allows some of us to remain in the fold while others got the shit-can. It was a sad day to see all the dead socks in the dumpster.
OH well C'est la vie! FWIW IYKWIM!!
Vista La Playa!

[Not Bob]

Ah, remember our anon "deposition" dude? Sigh. Good times, baby.

One Defense Lawyer’s To-Do List Upon
Returning from "Depositions" in “Iowa City, Iowa”

1. Check in with secretary; review mail.
2. Call opposing counsel on Ripside matter; apologize again for failing to show up at hearing.
3. Dial wife’s number; hang up during first ring.
4. Call florist; order flowers for wife.
5. Try again to get story straight in head; remember that you “lost” your cell phone and were “too busy to call"; also remember that while talking to wife, you should continually try to change subject to health and well-being of kids.
6. Dial wife’s number again; see above for story and strategy; explain for third time why "depositions" took two days longer than planned; keep contradictory facts straight by relying on lawyerly skills learned at great expense in law school.
7. Hang up with wife; breathe sigh of relief; suddenly “find” cellphone at bottom of garment bag.
8. Search jacket pocket for boarding pass with evidence of return trip from Las Vegas; rip boarding pass into very small pieces and place at bottom of shredding bin.
9. Reopen garment bag; examine black coat for strands of long blonde hair; remove two.
10. Call florist again; change order to roses.
11. Fend off feelings of guilt; remind yourself that others have done much worse; specifically recall certain scenes from movie Very Bad Things.
12. Tell secretary to hold calls while you try to get your head together.
13. Tell yourself you’ll feel much better once you’ve had some sleep.
14. Call buddy on 57th floor who “assisted” you with “depositions”; confirm that he is bound to silence by “Road Code.”
15. Remove unused $5 chip from pocket; place it on bookshelf to remind you later of good times.
16. Remember to seek return of ATM card, which 57th floor buddy took from you two nights ago “for your own good.”
17. Ponder again bad fortune that your good buddy failed to seize your credit cards.
18. Call buddy again; confirm specific meaning of “Road Code”; insure there are no exceptions.
19. Get secretary on phone; make sure no one from the firm’s compensation committee was looking for you while you were away.
20. Try to remember if any other partners more senior than you were depending on you for anything during the past week.
21. Remind yourself that you hate your partners; it was the stress they cause that forced you to go to “Iowa City, Iowa” for “depositions” in the first place.
22. Try to determine source of alcohol smell.
23. Make sure alcohol smell isn’t coming from skin pores.
24. Check breath by cupping hand; continue eating Altoids until tongue burns too badly to continue.
25. Check other clothes in garment bag for strands of hair; expand search to include hairs of all types and colors.
26. Try to get lyric from Grateful Dead’s Truckin’ unstuck from head; remind yourself you don’t know what reds are, hate Vitamin C, and have never used cocaine.
27. Fend off feelings of self-pity that sweep over you whenever you lie to yourself.
28. Contact IT department to see if it’s possible to change your e-mail address.
29. After reminding IT guy not to call you “dude,” confirm that spouses of partners do not have access to firm e-mail system.
30. Think about Joe Pesci’s character in Casino; think about Joe Pesci’s character in GoodFellas; assure yourself there’s no way you’re that bad.
31. Briefly consider changing your name.
32. Call buddy from 57th floor; have him come to your office to examine your back for strange marks.
33. Following examination, breathe sigh of relief.
34. Ignore good buddy’s reminder that he should really be checking your entire body; resolve to shower at health club for next two weeks.
35. Begin to relax some more in presence of good buddy.
36. Laugh with good buddy about other good buddy, who still hasn’t made it back.
37. Laugh again about that problem two nights ago; laugh harder and slap knee at thought that both of you are still alive.
38. Briefly stop laughing at thought of other buddy, who still hasn’t made it back.
39. Tell good buddy there is no one else like him.
40. On a complete whim, call secretary on speakerphone to ask about your schedule during the third week two months from now.
41. With good buddy still in office, begin planning next set of “depositions” in “Iowa City, Iowa.”

from http://www.legalunderground.com/for_...nse/index.html

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Gattigap
(Bad jazz, often screechingly awful jazz, but jazz nonetheless. There are interludes of the sublime, but other times it makes me wonder if part of the horn simply fell off, or if he forgot where the beat was. It's painful to watch, but that the player continues on with confidence is worth something, I suppose.)
Gattigap

And how is this different from anything else that makes life worth living?

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
I can check that one off my list. Ah, to be young and drunk in Spain again....

What kind of tat did you get?

Hope they didn't step on your tail.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
It's not exactly payment.

Lawtalkers has tapped the ARC (Association of Retarded Citizens) as our primary charity and you just happen to be a unintended beneficiary.

Welcome off the ropes. Dinner tonight?

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
What kind of tat did you get?

Hope they didn't step on your tail.

No ink for this monkey, I'm saving my skin for the inevitable prison tattoo. And when I run for my life, my tail raises up out of harm's way, so no worries there.

You should go, it's a lot of fun. I'd like to try tomatina someday, that's probably more my speed these days.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Lance takes the lead.

Fuck Lance. I'm sick of his smug little face. I hope he gets thrashed by some fancy boy on a Huffy.

TM

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by the Spartan
As evidenced by the following cut and pasted line from an IM, please be noticed and advised of the latest and greatest invention from the Board's Greatest Poster of All Time (sorry TM, not even close)

paigowprincess: I ordain fancy to be the new classy

For example purposes, this new word can be used as follows:

"RobustPuppy is a fancy dresser" Good on ya indeed.

Carry on!

You're going to a lot of trouble here just to deflect the "fancy boy" tag. Somehow I thought you had a thicker skin.

[dtb]

Originally posted by the Spartan
As evidenced by the following cut and pasted line from an IM, please be noticed and advised of the latest and greatest invention from the Board's Greatest Poster of All Time (sorry TM, not even close)

paigowprincess: I ordain fancy to be the new classy

For example purposes, this new word can be used as follows:

"RobustPuppy is a fancy dresser" Good on ya indeed.

Carry on!

Oh no, no, no.

Sorry, but that could not be more wrong. "Fancy" is an inherently funny word. It conveys something that's trying to be posh, but in an insouciant sort of way -- unlike "classy", which is used only by those who think they are, which, it goes without saying, they are not.

[NotFromHere]

Bob Guiney, formerly of the Bachelorette and formerly of the Bachelor, who picked a totally inappropriate woman (like they all do) and then promptly dropped her after Trista and Ryan's wedding appearance, has jumped aboard the Panicked Wedding Express that has mowed through much of the US this month. I guess these people figure if they get married, the media attention and their 15 minutes will finally be over.

NEW YORK - Unable to pop the question to Estella Gardinier on ABC’s “The Bachelor” last fall, Bob Guiney wed “All My Children” star Rebecca Budig Saturday in a surprise ceremony, Us Weekly and People magazines reported.

Budig, in a two-piece white cotton dress, walked down the aisle to Bruce Springsteen’s “Thunder Road.” (Classy) They exchanged their own vows, and afterward, changed into swimsuits and spent the afternoon in the water and dining on barbecued chicken.

[Paig's Sock]

FOr old times sake, I thouhgt I would come back for one last post and share a funny joke since this board is in the toilett without me.

how many JPUKE's does it take to be unfunny?

7.

One to go swingdancing
One to stalk Fbetties
One to put more boxes in his cubicle
one to pm young COltrane with a fratsytle unfunny joke
one to throw spitballs at Mario his cubemate
One to do unfunny Sebby type rants (hi sebby!)
and One to make really bad socks

namaste! (hi bilmore)

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Which is a good thing, because the rest of the movie is god-awful. But I agree, that scene is hot. On par with some scenes in Bound.

I beg to differ. The strip tease scene in the bar toward the end of the flick is worth burning out the frame advance function on the dvd player, too.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Budig, in a two-piece white cotton dress, walked down the aisle to Bruce Springsteen’s “Thunder Road.” (Classy)

I love that song -- the screen door slams, Mary's dress waves, etc. But I wonder about the wisdom of playing a song that has the line "you ain't a beauty, but hey, you're all right" at a wedding.

[Paig's Sock]

Originally posted by dtb
Oh no, no, no.

Sorry, but that could not be more wrong. "Fancy" is an inherently funny word. It conveys something that's trying to be posh, but in an insouciant sort of way -- unlike "classy", which is used only by those who think they are, which, it goes without saying, they are not.

PUhleeze, people who say :classy" generally acknowledge that they themselves are not and are using the term as a compliment to those that they admire but know they could never be. Sort of like a a hopless prole from the 718 admiring Carolyn Bessette from afar but having no chance of even polishing her shoes. Fancy is similar and would describe an activity or event that a classy person might throw. NOw please let me tretire in peace. out.