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Old 10-23-2003, 03:35 PM   #3526
taxwonk
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Your Daily Jolie

Quote:
Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Curiosity killed the cat. Or whatever it was that this was made out of.



I feel strange unease while looking at this picture, but I guess that was the point.
Is that from the prom night episode of Carnivale?
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:38 PM   #3527
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Presumptive Assholes

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Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
As one of those woman seriously considering cosmetic surgery, I can tell you that it has very little to do with self-hatred or misogyny.

For me, there's something about my body I don't really like. I've always felt like that thing was just out of proportion and uncomfortable. As a result of that thing, I can't wear certain clothes, do certain activities, etc.

As a result, I'd like to change the thing. And I can. And I guess I will, not as an act of self-hatred, but as an act of self-love.

So, you see...cosmetic surgery is just really expensive masturbation!
Don't go for it. Breast reduction is never the answer. At least not unless you have serious back problems.

Look at Soleil Moon Frye. At least she used to be a kinda-scary looking chick with no talent but really nice rack.
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:38 PM   #3528
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Quote:
Originally posted by Atticus Grinch

I think it has a Dynasty, Joan-Collins-raised-from-the-dead-in-2050 sort of appeal.

Who wouldn't want to look like that?
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:39 PM   #3529
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Why Long Island should be nuked

Quote:
Originally posted by leagleaze
This, of course, returns us to an earlier theme of the day. Sheesh, Friggen (friggin?) Timmies.


And for those amongst us who are uncertain what I mean when I say friggen (friggin) timmies. What I mean is, God, I hate people who elevate form over substance.

But really, since hate is a strong word, I should say, I don't really mean I hate them. I mean I think it is kind of silly, on rare occasion amusing, but most often not. In this case, it was pretty amusing.

Ok?

Ok.
Indeed. Carry on.
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:42 PM   #3530
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to avoid confusion

Quote:
Originally posted by paigowprincess
What does bitch slapping mean?


It's gotta involve the back of the hand, so you get a taste of the knuckles.

Thurgreed(And you've been bitch-slapped all over this board on a number of occassions)Marshall
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:42 PM   #3531
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Breaking the Paigow Juggernaut

Quote:
Originally posted by taxwonk
I would never buy an album by somebody based upon the fact that he won on American Idol, or some other crap show. If I heard a cut on the radio, or in a record store, or someone whose taste I know is comparable to mine said "hey, you should check this guy out," then I might buy the disc. But it wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that he was on a tv show.
If true, you are unique. Most people either wouldn't think of American Idol as a negative (unfortunately a high percentage of people), or as such a negative they see the win as poison. The average guy (non-AI jonesed) who hears the song and likes it would still not buy it because the person selling you the CD, and the pretty girl in the car next to you at the red light, and the..., would all think you bought it because of the AI win. Most people are too shallow to go down that road. This is, I think, hypothetical because the guy does suck.

A similar phenomena is where you like an obscure band, and no one has heard of them. then they get some crap song on the radio. People see your CD's, "hey I like them, they did Crap Song."
88% of the obscure band listening country will say "I hate Crap song- I liked obscure band way before, for other reasons."
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:43 PM   #3532
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Why Long Island should be nuked

Quote:
Originally posted by paigowprincess
How do you explain your penis implant then? Your dockers are more fitted but we all know tht isnt the real reason.
Three words: For her pleasure.

TM
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:47 PM   #3533
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Breaking the Paigow Juggernaut

Quote:
Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
If true, you are unique. Most people either wouldn't think of American Idol as a negative (unfortunately a high percentage of people), or as such a negative they see the win as poison. The average guy (non-AI jonesed) who hears the song and likes it would still not buy it because the person selling you the CD, and the pretty girl in the car next to you at the red light, and the..., would all think you bought it because of the AI win. Most people are too shallow to go down that road. This is, I think, hypothetical because the guy does suck.

A similar phenomena is where you like an obscure band, and no one has heard of them. then they get some crap song on the radio. People see your CD's, "hey I like them, they did Crap Song."
88% of the obscure band listening country will say "I hate Crap song- I liked obscure band way before, for other reasons."
As a follow-up. I have not busted out the Clay Aiken CD. I will note that I also am now the proud owner of the Kelly Clarkson CD. Considering the facts that I don't watch AI and that both CDs were free, I have no qualms about displaying them proudly in my CD collection. Of course if I never remove the shrinkwrap, I'll never know if they are good or bad.


Edit - this was your first indication that taxwonk is unique?
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:48 PM   #3534
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Presumptive Assholes

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Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Man, sometimes I wish I had a penis. So I could wave it around and scare off the little people. Also so I could pee standing up at sporting events and concerts and bars where the restrooms are really gross.

But no. I don't have a penis. NTTAWWT.
I've seen women pee standing up, though I've never had a frontal view of such. But I've seen them from the back, and I've heard the unmistakable sound of the flow hitting the ground. This is a completely serious post, and wisecracks about the true gender of said people are predictable and not welcome. If you go to enough co-ed soccer tournaments or other sporting events where women are outside in parks all day with disgusting port-o-potties, I'd bet you'd have seen it too. I believe that it just requires a little manipulation and a slight knee bend. Though people around here with a vulva and vagina might be more reliable sources. But based on my eyewitness testimony, and lengthy discussions on the subject with the female friends in question, I believe that (at least some) women can pee standing up, if they're willing to do a little extra work.

Str8
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:50 PM   #3535
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Breaking the Paigow Juggernaut

Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
if I never remove the shrinkwrap, I'll never know if they are good or bad.
Bitch please!
I took my first Queer Eye baby steps yesterday, by rubbing a CD along the edge of a table to tear the shrink wrap. It scratched the table all up. Thanks a fucking lot Kai. I'm sure I was using the wrong motion, or maybe the wrong type table.
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:54 PM   #3536
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So I've been watching "I Love the '80s Strikes Back" on VH-1, and I'm thinking to myself, "Boy, I bet there were a lot of 'uhs' and 'uhms' from the producers when Boy George showed up for his segment shoot." Horrorshow. He looked like a fat Marilyn Manson with seagull crap running down his head.

He should go to whatever costume/cosmetic rehab clinic saved Elton John from himself in the early '90s. I'll pay.

BTW, my crush on Juliette Lewis is officially over. I'm taking nominations for the now vacant office of Comely Nymph.
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:55 PM   #3537
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sacre blu streak!

Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive

Indeed.

Carry on.
I curse you and your flair. In french!
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:56 PM   #3538
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Full, round, artificial breasts

Quote:
Originally posted by paigowprincess
Define "obsessed with their bodies", At what point does a desire to have large tits become a body obsession? Is it when you buy wonderbras? Is it when you work out every day of the weeK? Is it when you are willing to spend big money (that you may or may not have), take health risks, and assume the responsibility of multiple surgeries down the road for a set of Bs or EEEs? Or is it something further than that? At what point does a healthy sense of ego turn into disportionate time, money, risk taking and/or narcissism?
My view is that people who have multiple surgeries and are unhappy with almost everything on their bodies are obsessed. At that point, I think mmmmm's point is a valid one. People who change their nose, cheeks, chin, breasts, stomach, ass, etc., have issues. They'll always find another problem area because they don't realize that the real problem area is in their brain.

If someone doesn't like their breasts and changes them (sensibly <-- read: not EEE) to fit with what they would prefer to look like, I don't presume that they are obsessed with their bodies. I feel the same about people who workout a lot. But note, I'm not saying that these types of people never have these issues. I'm saying that I'm hard pressed to assume that they do because of the one surgery or the hour a day they workout.

TM
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:57 PM   #3539
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Presumptive Assholes

Quote:
Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Man, sometimes I wish I had a penis. So I could wave it around and scare off the little people. Also so I could pee standing up at sporting events and concerts and bars where the restrooms are really gross.

But no. I don't have a penis. NTTAWWT.
I could while away the hours
just like the Pretty Flower
Sparkin up the bong
And my nuts I'd be scratchin'
While my lust was busy hatchin'
If I only had a schlong

I'd say "hey" to every Betty
by PM or by IM
we would surely get along

With the thoughts I'd let fester
I could be another Lester
If I only had a schlong

Oh I could tell you why
men leave wet towels upon the floor
I could boink poor girls that I'd never boink before
And then I'd sleep
And boink some more

I would not be just a goil
like barely or Olive Oyl
Lip synching to Clay's song

I'd do e/o and do fringey
laugh at Hedwig's Angry Inchy
If I only had a schlong

Gosh it would be awful pleasin'
To not take the blame this season
No matter what went wrong

Then perhaps I'd make some rainin'
do some client entertainin'
If I only had a schlong
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Old 10-23-2003, 03:58 PM   #3540
Atticus Grinch
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Breaking the Paigow Juggernaut

Quote:
Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I took my first Queer Eye baby steps yesterday, by rubbing a CD along the edge of a table to tear the shrink wrap. It scratched the table all up. Thanks a fucking lot Kai. I'm sure I was using the wrong motion, or maybe the wrong type table.
That was Jai. Was it a Paul Oakenfold CD? 'Cause it happened to me, too. I'm going to try it again with a Dirty Vegas CD to see if it works this time. I'll let you know.

I'm so glad to have learned that Kyan's real name is "Eddie." It made me sad to think that some parents somewhere gave their son a manly, rugged name like Kyan, only to see him grow up to be a hairdresser.
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