Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

YAY FOR PUBIC HAIR DISCUSSIONS! YAY!
________________
Pushy the Puppy

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Small dick lawyers who think that they make their dicks look bigger by either 1) having their secretary do their outgoing voicemail message or 2) (the worst) doing their own voicemail message but referring to themselves in the third person. As in, Thurgreed doing a voicemail saying "You have reached the office of Thurgreed Marshall. Mr. Marshall is unable to take your call at the moment. Please leave a message and Mr. Marshall will promptly return your call."

If you want your dick to look bigger, do your own first person voicemail and shave your balls.

What these guys don't realize is that it doesn't make their dick look bigger. It makes it look smaller. The people that hear this shit know that the only guys who do this are technically challenged and have not figured out how to use the voicemail (or a phone) and so they have their secretaries do it for them, rather than to admit they can't figure out this new fangled equipment. Reminds me of a former boss who couldn't figure out how to pick up messages from home. Read the fucking manual - you can learn a lot that way.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Congratulations. You made coffee come out of my nose.

Originally posted by Pushy the Puppy
YAY FOR PUBIC HAIR DISCUSSIONS! YAY!
________________
Pushy the Puppy

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by purse junkie
I swear I don't know any guys who admit to talking about personal grooming with other guys. They get as far as "Get a haircut?" "Yeah." and (Nod or) "Uh." before they get paranoid about hearing too many graphic details about anything more intimate.

But this is interesting. Do carry on.

Pubic hair grooming is just the tip of the iceberg. There are very few guys out there who won't discuss their balls at the drop of a hat...

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Pubic hair grooming is just the tip of the iceberg. There are very few guys out there who won't discuss their balls at the drop of a hat...

YAY! Balls!

What exactly is there to say about them? They hang? They are good for teabaggin?

[Jack Manfred]

originally posted by paigowprincess
Small dick lawyers who think that they make their dicks look bigger by either 1) having their secretary do their outgoing voicemail message or 2) (the worst) doing their own voicemail message but referring to themselves in the third person. As in, Thurgreed doing a voicemail saying "You have reached the office of Thurgreed Marshall. Mr. Marshall is unable to take your call at the moment. Please leave a message and Mr. Marshall will promptly return your call."

Originally posted by NotFromHere
What these guys don't realize is that it doesn't make their dick look bigger. It makes it look smaller. The people that hear this shit know that the only guys who do this are technically challenged and have not figured out how to use the voicemail (or a phone) and so they have their secretaries do it for them, rather than to admit they can't figure out this new fangled equipment. Reminds me of a former boss who couldn't figure out how to pick up messages from home. Read the fucking manual - you can learn a lot that way.

Now that they have that service where C-list celebrities will call you up on the phone, I think they should have a similar service for voicemail.

"Hi, this is Tina Yothers. Jack Manfred is unavailable to take your call, but if you leave your name and number at the tone, he will return your call promptly. If this is an emergency, please press 0 to be transferred to his secretary or Meredith Baxter-Birney."

I've seriously considered asking KCRW if they would have one of their DJ's do my work/home voicemail message in exchange for a pledge. Seems like a win/win.

What exactly is there to say about them? They hang? They are good for teabaggin?

Dear Paigow,

Balls are filled with semen and sometimes make children even when it is an accident and you have to run out on the woman you claim to love in order to dodge your responsibilities as a father especially if the act of dodging your responsibilities as a father is something you would be infinitely more capable of doing than actually raising your own children. At least that is what my mother always told me when we talked about balls.

Love,
Pushy the Puppy

P.S., I miss you very much, Paigow.
______________
Pushy the Puppy

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
YAY! Balls!

What exactly is there to say about them? They hang? They are good for teabaggin?

Size, shape, hairyness, reaction to water/cold. Whether the position one is sitting in is killing them; whether jeans he's wearing aren't giving him enough breathing room. Whether sitting bitch in the back seat of the car is causing him extreme pain b/c the other two guys have their legs spread so wide so THEIR balls can breathe.

For example, a buddy's ex-GF revealed to us that he has small balls. It's frequently brought up in conversation.

And the amount that they hang: one friend admits to his balls hanging VERY LOW (as his wife tells him). Also frequently discussed. "Oh, b/c your balls hang so low."

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
YAY! Balls!

What exactly is there to say about them? They hang? They are good for teabaggin?

Well, since you asked...

BIG BALLS
I'm ever upper class high society,
God's gift to ballroom notoriety,
I always fill my ballroom
(The event is never small)
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all
Oh I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No-one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
GREAT BALLS OF FIRE
Oh I've got big balls
repeat
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best.
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
Oh I've got big balls
repeat
And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...
Ball sucker

S(AC/DC... goes perfect with nadirs)D

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by bilmore
You know all those nights we go out with our buddies? We spend the time discussing our feelings and dreams, sharing grooming secrets, and making serious emotional commitments to each other.

Oh, and we usually stop and ask directions at some point.

Holy crap. I think I liked you guys better when you were just scratching yourselves on the couch watching the Superbowl on the wide-screen TV.

Originally posted by Pushy the Puppy
Dear Paigow,

Balls are filled with semen and sometimes make children even when it is an accident and you have to run out on the woman you claim to love in order to dodge your responsibilities as a father especially if the act of dodging your responsibilities as a father is something you would be infinitely more capable of doing than actually raising your own children. At least that is what my mother always told me when we talked about balls.

Love,
Pushy the Puppy

P.S., I miss you very much, Paigow.

Dear Pushy

Sometimes, when I read your posts, I hear the voice of Jack Handy in my head. I heart you dearly and hope that we can bridge the gap. With some balls thrown in for good pleasure.

Love always

your princess, paigs
______________
Pushy the Puppy

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Size, shape, hairyness, reaction to water/cold. Whether the position one is sitting in is killing them; whether jeans he's wearing aren't giving him enough breathing room. Whether sitting bitch in the back seat of the car is causing him extreme pain b/c the other two guys have their legs spread so wide so THEIR balls can breathe.

For example, a buddy's ex-GF revealed to us that he has small balls. It's frequently brought up in conversation.

And the amount that they hang: one friend admits to his balls hanging VERY LOW (as his wife tells him). Also frequently discussed. "Oh, b/c your balls hang so low."

And just as i hear the dulcet tones of Jack Handy as I read Pushy's sheer poetics, I hear the breathing of Darth Vadar as I thin kabout your repressed balls. the poor dears.

and i never heard taht term, "bitch in the backseat". Is that redneck for sitting on the hump?

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Aloha Mr. Learned Hand
They showed a clip very similar to this in the Newlywed Game segment on "I love the 70's" (1971, I think, but I could be wrong). They showed a woman holding up a card in response to this question with the answer "In the Fanny" written on it...

Hate to play "Top the Timmy," but I saw the same program. On TNG, the second spouse to answer does so ORALLY, not on a card. They bleeped the "fanny" part. Maybe you're having a recovered memory from a really bad game of Pictionary or something. And it was 1977, not '71.

I'd never seen the clip before "I Love the '70s," but it is the stuff of schoolyard legend. In my mind's eye, she said rather unselfconsciously, "Well, Chuck, that would be in the butt."* In the clip, she was a lot more giggly, like she knew she was going to be bleeped but couldn't resist the setup line. I felt less sorry for her than the woman in my imaginary version. I think she knew what she was doing.

*Of course, in retrospect, this was entirely unlikely, since TNG was hosted by Bob Eubanks, not Chuck Barris or Chuck Woolery. Still, I think all game show hosts should be named "Chuck."

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield


The Brazilian is boring at this point because everyone has one and everyone has tried it.

Not so dude, bion (NEW ACRONYM ALERT-"BELIEVE IT OR NOT"), I'm a holdout.

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Various topics re: balls.

Not to mention the length of the delayed reaction after being hit/kneed/accidentally struck in the balls before the unbelievably excruciating pain sets in...