Fashion Board 11-2-03 - 12-09-03

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess

Oh, and whiff.

Grandma panties in a bunch?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
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Thanks for the daily fix. I'm reminded why I heart you.

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Seriously, are you so uncreative that the only joke you can think of for me is something that is seen as black? It's not like I don't give you enough material to poke fun of. But it amazes me that whenever anything that is remotely related to black people registers on your slim, skewed slice of the horizon, you automatically think of me. Jesus Christ. Use your drug-addled brain every once in awhile.

TM

You are right. I will never make a black joke about you again. I apologize. I guess I have run out of material. I hang my head in shame. Pehaps I willjoin Bilmore on that Great Kayak In the Sky.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
"You go girl"

Although the only time I hear either of these phrases is when their spoken by mid-30's white women, who by definition are tragically unhip.

Watching a lot of Lifetime on the roomie's TV, are you?

[evenodds]

Turn your speakers off before clicking here: http://game.panlogic.net/
(spree: from the beeb: throw a balled up paper into a waste basket while fighting the vagaries of windspeed)

[Shape Shifter]

I saw Master and Commander: The Far Side of Crowe's Career last night.


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Might as well call it Gladiator Goes to Galapagos. The battle scenes were admittedly cool, and there was some occasional stunning filmography, but the plot was thinner than gruel on a Pacific crossing. Not nearly enough keelhauling or scurvy dogs being tied to yardarms (bonus points for including parrots and monkeys, though). Some questions:

1. Why are critics falling over themselves praising this shit? Are they afraid of pissing off Crowe?

2. Mainstream Hollywood is gay (see 12/03 cover of VF and accompanying article). Why the need to keep making these in the closet gladiator and sailor movies?

3. Was the naturalist character real or was he just in Crowe's mind?

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
For a few years, I've been kicking around the idea of trying to get some sort of Victoria's Secret-esqe sex-toy franchise going with the goal of getting a, er, marital aid shop in every mall in America. I'd be happy to partner up with your porn production company.

I like the cross-marketing possibilities. We should probably maintain superficial separation between the businesses, keeping the sex-toy shops a bit more wonder-bread for the middle-american mall set. But the films can feature product, and the shops can act as a retail distributor of videos.

Kids, I think we have a viable business plan. I've got an old friend who has a film production company that mainly does local commercials and in-house training videos - if we can find some out of work actors without performance anxiety and someone who can pretend to direct, I don't think we need to worry about scripts....

BR(I see a bi-curious sci-fi number entitled "Invade Uranus!!" in our future)C

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Watching a lot of Lifetime on the roomie's TV, are you?

Haven't you been following? The roomie's conveniently invented NEW girl (for when would this roomie who does nothing but work and go to keggers) made him watch. He didnt even want to, but of course he couldnt leave the room or anything bc his roomie was paying for the pizza hut. .

[evenodds]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
I like the cross-marketing possibilities. We should probably maintain superficial separation between the businesses, keeping the sex-toy shops a bit more wonder-bread for the middle-american mall set. But the films can feature product, and the shops can act as a retail distributor of videos.

Kids, I think we have a viable business plan. I've got an old friend who has a film production company that mainly does local commercials and in-house training videos - if we can find some out of work actors without performance anxiety and someone who can pretend to direct, I don't think we need to worry about scripts....

BR(I see a bi-curious sci-fi number entitled "Invade Uranus!!" in our future)C

Investors will be easy to come by, as well. Pitch the films for their soundtrack potential to record labels and watch the money pour in.

E/O

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
You are right. I will never make a black joke about you again. I apologize. I guess I have run out of material. I hang my head in shame. Pehaps I willjoin Bilmore on that Great Kayak In the Sky.

If you go take PLF with you. His act is as stale as two-day sliced bread.

Don't tell him I said that. He's sensitive about his inadequacies.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Haven't you been following? The roomie's conveniently invented NEW girl (for when would this roomie who does nothing but work and go to keggers) made him watch. He didnt even want to, but of course he couldnt leave the room or anything bc his roomie was paying for the pizza hut. .

Alright, I'm going to have to defend myself here. We would NEVER eat Pizza Hut. This is Chicago. That's like walking into a party with hot 22-yr old co-eds and taking home the 35 yr. old spinster.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Alright, I'm going to have to defend myself here. We would NEVER eat Pizza Hut. That's like walking into a party with hot 22-yr old co-eds and taking home the 35 yr. old spinster.

Coltrane, your old lady jokes are about as tired as the order takers at NV Perricone's fulfillment center. Perhaps you could take the act to the discussion board populated by 22 year old supermodels who want nothing more than to blow midwestern lawyers while their roommates look on.

Don't be afraid of your thirties, kid. Nobody will force you to buy a minivan and the house in the suburbs with that girl you've convinced yourself is "the one" despite the fact that she hasn't sucked you off since before the wedding. You'll want to do it. Really. Just like the frog who wants to stay in the nice, warm water ...

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
As it is, Bravo is owned by NBC and ultimately General Electric. Showtime is owned by Viacom, which also owns CBS. I'm not sure what this means, but I have confidence it's all according to Shape Shifter's plan.

How keenly observant of you, Mr. Grinch. You are doing fine work. Please keep scanning the required periodicals for your assignments. And remember, you have to read them. It does no good for us to send them to you if all you do is display them prominently on your coffee table.

Global corporations are not part of The Plan, per se, but rather an unfortunate and almost unavoidable consequence. For all the gains in efficiency, they always end up being more trouble than they're worth. Qualified multinational minions to monitor their activities are always in short supply, and you end up getting stuck with some sorority girl from Georgia Fucking Tech who thought her major in "International Business" would get her a flat in Paris and a phat expense account. You go girl! So you send her to Malaysia or Zaire or some other shithole were she's really needed and you email is soon flooded with her complaints about the food (she's it!) and the lack of familiar hygiene products. All this just to cross market Disney timeshares on the World's Strongest Man competitions at 3:00 a.m. on espn. Fuck!

Anybody know a good temp agency for multinational minions?

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Alright, I'm going to have to defend myself here. We would NEVER eat Pizza Hut. This is Chicago. That's like walking into a party with hot 22-yr old co-eds and taking home the 35 yr. old spinster.

Honey, hot 22-yr-old co-eds think guys like you are sad old pervs.

But I do agree with you on the pizza issue.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Haven't you been following? The roomie's conveniently invented NEW girl (for when would this roomie who does nothing but work and go to keggers) made him watch.

He didn't say the roomies girlfriend was good looking or anything. I'll buy it.