Quote:
Originally posted by Sidd Finch
This is pretty different from some of your comments yesterday. To respond to what you are saying here, though, certainly that is my experience. When we were only planning on kids, my wife said that she would work after we had one. It was important to figure this out in advance, because we were about to buy a new home and her income was essential to maintain it.
After the kid was born, it was clear that she wanted to stay at home. Partly to be with our son, partly because she was sick of her job. But, this was after the Great Raise of Aught-Aught, and I was busy as hell (on an hours-based bonus system) and pretty confident that if I kept working hard I could make partner. So, I agreed she could stay at home if that made her happy.
I thought that I did this out of love, respect for her desires, and the knowledge that growing up with her would be a wonderful thing for our son.
Yesterday, you claimed that men -- presumably all men, since you chose not to qualify it -- like their wives to stay at home because that's a "trophy" or status symbol. I don't remember the exact words you used and don't care to read that post again. But I don't remember reading anything on these boards that I ever found so personally insulting and offensive.
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Actually I've known several men (with and without kids) whose wives decided they should stop working against the advice and counter to the preference of their husbands. In at least one case, that was part of the reason for their later divorce.
It can become harder for the working spouse to feel like the non-working one is bringing much to the table. I've seen this run both ways (when the man isn't offering much substance to the relationship).
Obviously anecdotal, but I must not run in the same circles as dtb.
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