Fashion Board 11-2-03 - 12-09-03

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick

I think I had my first orgasm on a horse, so I guess I learned from the animal kingdom as well.

Is your first name "Catherine" and your last "The Great"?

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by leagleaze
These people have got to be stopped.

I believe some of your favorite people are starting to arrive in the state to try to stop us.

(Edited to add: it hasn't been this good to be from Massachusetts in a longggg time -- screw the Red Sox, we've got Margie Marshall!)

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Is your first name "Catherine" and your last "The Great"?

Either that or "Oh yes, Oh God!-iva..."

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
I believe some of your favorite people are starting to arrive in the state to try to stop us.

Hooooboy. Aren't you the lucky ones. You're gonna get to see signs reading things you never thought of before. You're gonna get to hear chants that will require you to cover your children's ears.

In short, it will be a blast.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Is your first name "Catherine" and your last "The Great"?

I thought this board had a no-outing policy.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by purse junkie
They didn't consult their in-house counsel apparently. Though I'm sure they did after the first round of sweet-faced-child-with-gross-disfiguring-dart-scar claims hit the jury room.

There was an obscure folk band called Ed's Redeeming Qualities that had a nice ditty about lawn darts.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
So how did you all learn about sex?

Time/Life books from the 60s. 'Necking' leads to 'petting' which leads to 'intercourse', and you'll get knocked up and kill your poor mother from the humiliation, you slut! (Guys, we know it's not your fault at all. Those 'urges,' you know.)

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by leagleaze
Sorry, bad habit. But you seemed to like it when I licked you.

Seemed to? Seemed to? I believe I screamed your name. And boy, was that priest pissed.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by purse junkie
Time/Life books from the 60s. 'Necking' leads to 'petting' which leads to 'intercourse', and you'll get knocked up and kill your poor mother from the humiliation, you slut! (Guys, we know it's not your fault at all. Those 'urges,' you know.)

Hey, I remember something like that. I didn't realize it was Time/Life. There was a Boys version and a Girls version, and we had lengthy discussions on just what "petting" really entailed and what separated it from necking and that other thing (blush!).

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I think I had my first orgasm on a horse, so I guess I learned from the animal kingdom as well.

Jerry Hall did too. She described it on Graham Norton.

I always wondered why my mom stopped my riding lessons when puberty hit.

[leagleaze]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Seemed to? Seemed to? I believe I screamed your name. And boy, was that priest pissed.

He was wasn't he...what was that screaming about destroying the sanctity of the confessional? I couldn't quite hear at the time, I was busy.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
So how did you all learn about sex?

First I thought babies resulted from kissing. Hence I was very worried when Willie Aames kissed Kristy McNichol on "Family."

Later, during the fourth grade, a girl named Dianne who lived down the street resolved that worry by providing a very rudimentary diagram in an attempt to depict the mechanics of intercourse. Interestingly enough, her diagram was so rudimentary -- body parts only -- it actually looked like a depiction of t/fing. (And to think she laughed at me when I asked whether the man put his penis between a woman's breasts! At the time the only retort I could think of was one denigrating her drawing skills, but oh, if I could go back in time. In another funny twist, she did turn out to be so flat chested that t/fing would be out of the question for her.)

My friend Donna from next door and I thought Dianne had to know everything because her older brother had gotten his girlfriend pregnant, but when we later discussed Dianne's diagram, Donna pointed out that it was incomplete by saying disgustedly "Plus, the man has to pee in her."

I found this concept utterly incontheivable and so we consulted first the World Book Encyclopedia, and finding that entry lacking, the Encyclopedia Brittanica, which provided a more complete description. I was relieved to learn that peeing was not necessary.

Then in 6th grade there was Forever and the rest of the Judy Blume ouevre and boys walking around the classroom with what appeared to be pencils in their pants and things started to make some sense in an confusing and funny way.

But the real education began when I found a copy of the aforementioned Scruples when I was babysitting the summer between 7th and 8th grade ... that's my earliest memory of being sexually aroused.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Today's Savage Love is not terribly interesting (http://www.theonionavclub.com/3945/savage.html ). But I really liked is description of a Canadian chick who banged some girl's boyfriend as a "Maple Flavored Slut."

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Hey, I remember something like that. I didn't realize it was Time/Life. There was a Boys version and a Girls version, and we had lengthy discussions on just what "petting" really entailed and what separated it from necking and that other thing (blush!).

Ah, yes. Our lengthy discussions revolved around what, exactly constituted 1st, 2nd, 3rd base, etc. We were pretty sure on the homerun thing, and none of us were quite sure if we wanted to get there cuz it sounded messy and a little bit daunting.

First orgasm: 13 years old, found one of my grandmother's trashy romance novels and discovered masturbation. Shocked the hell out of me, because I had no idea girls masturbated. I must have skipped that Judy Blume novel.

[evenodds]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
First orgasm: 13 years old, found one of my grandmother's trashy romance novels and discovered masturbation. Shocked the hell out of me, because I had no idea girls masturbated. I must have skipped that Judy Blume novel.

Wow, you were precocious. I don't think I had my first orgasm until 18, long after I lost my viriginity.