Book by Iowahawk
Music by Frederick Loewe and Alan Jay Lerner
Based on “Fascist Pigmalian” by the Netroots Community
SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS
I tell you why there are two Americas, my dear Dr. Dean. Man is a product of his environment.
HOWARD DEAN
Balderdash! “So bententh the tree,” say I. Take the insane Bush cabal that plotted 9-11, for instance, genetically rotted from root to branch.
EDWARDS
This is where you are wrong my friend, and I shall prove you so. Take the young woman over there, banging on the keyboard.
HOWARD DEAN (sniffing)
The one who reeks of cat urine? Ghastly! What of her?
EDWARDS
I am prepared to wager my indoor squash court that I can train her to be a proper presidential campaign representative.
AMANDA MARCOTTE
Fucking suckwad cocksuck fundy fuckwit godbag cunt!
HOWARD DEAN
Ha-ho! I will gladly indulge you in your foolish wager, Senator
EDWARDS
I say, good woman... what is your name?
AMANDA
Amanda fucking Marcotte... Pandagon to you, you motherfucking cocksucking tool of the Southern fucking white fucking racist patriarchy!
EDWARDS
Young woman, how would like a job as my official blog master!
AMANDA
No shit?!!
WOULDN'T IT BE FUCKERLY (AMANDA)
All I want is a blog somewhere,
Far away from the wingnuts' glare.
With a fucking Aeron chair,
Aow, wouldn't it be fuckerly?
Lots of room to let off steam,
Lots of commenters, lots of scream.
Getting paid by the Edwards team,
Aow, wouldn't it be fuckerly?
Aow, so fuckerly bein' abso-fuckin'-lutely shrill.
I would never stop 'till spring
Crept over me windowsill.
Plastic Bush head on a spike,
assistant who's a vegan dyke. these and other things I like,
Aow, wouldn't it be fuckerly?
Fuckerly, fuckerly, fuckerly, fuckerly
[REPEAT]
EDWARDS
Delightful! See you monday morning.
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It keeps going.
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