Fringey's taut-abbed painter

[LessinSF]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
When there's blow, Less is thrilling
Though your face gets a spittling
He'll try to play, the Lestertini way,
Scrambling in a bitter spinsterland.

Away lookin’ mangy,
No love in Her bed
The wacky Princ. Paigow
Laid down still unwed

The stars in the bright sky
Looked down where She lay
The scary Princ. Paigow
Lookin’ 45 if a day

The cattle are lowing
The poor lady wakes
The skanky Princ. Paigow
Has coke-whorey shakes

No love Thee, Princ. Paigow
Look down at your side
And check out your thighs,
The reasons there lie.

Not near me, Princ. Paigow
I ask Thee to stay
Far from me forever
Not scar me I pray

Bless all the dear GAs
In Bi-polar range
And take them to freedom
To flee from Thee derange

[GA-Z]

Originally posted by Gattigap
For better or worse, my socks are almost invariably one-time shots. .......................Ah, the classics.

If you havin sock problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but socking ain’t one

I got my Sock Patrol flaming the Admins’ control
Slave’s crew wanna make sure my board access is closed
Board critics that say I's "Flames, Socks, and Trolls"
I'm OldSkool-Yahoo stupid, what type of knocks are those?
If you came up with the SKEKs in NoWhiteNoise’s zones
You’d still be socking to satisfy ya’ jonez
I'm like fuck the whiffers, Mr. R can rim my whole asshole
If you don't like my sockpuppets, you can scroll past then post
Got beef with the Admins when I retire from they show
they tried to delete my socks - well I don't give a shit, SO!
Admin promoters try to IM my sock ass
So page hits can soar and yield mo’ cash for they ass, sockistfucks!
I don't know what you take me as
Or understand the sock game that GA-Z has
I'm from, Yahoo to Infirm, King of Socks, all in good fun
I got 99 problems, but socking ain't one - Ban me!

99 problems but socking ain't one
If you havin sock problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but socking ain't one - Ban me!

The year is two ought-four, collabo with Paigow is gettin raw
Standin o’er my shoulder is fuckin Slave with his law
Got two choices all y'all, pull out from Board and stay afar or (hmm)
Re-join the Paigow, bring the socks to the fore
And I ain't tryin to see no interoffice face to face with Slave
But I got a few socks, I can flame his case
So I, come back to the heart of the Board
And he say

"Sock do you know why I'm bannin you fo’?"

Cause I'm young and I'm boyish and my wit really flow
Or do I look like GF-Sockkillah, I don’t know
Am I bound fo’ deletion or should I guess some mo'?

"Well you was violatin’ TOS sections six and fo’;
email and registration password and step up to our bar -
are you usin a confusin fake Paigow sock? I know a lot of you are"

I ain't playin yo shit, all my socks is legit

"Well do you mind if I search your IP Addy a little bit?"

Well my server data is blocked, by the firewall we don’t lack
And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that

"Aren't you sharp as a SKEK! You some type of
Greedy Partner or somethin, somebody Old Skool or somethin?"

Child I ain't grabbed the brassring (yet), but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't capriciously delete my shit

"Well we'll see how smart you are when EO’s smackdown comes"

I got 99 problems, but socking ain't one - ban me!

99 problems but socking ain't one
If you havin sock problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but socking ain't one - Ban me!

Now once upon a time, back on Infirm long ago
A socka like myself had to strongarm the West-hoes
These are not hoes like the FBetties who be frontin they pussy
But those corporate pussies havin no God damn rulz, try an' delete me
I try to bum rush em, email SockfortheMan
Pray for Chef to return, but them fools were bent on reform
You know the type, straight crazy psyche
Tried to destroy the GAs like the 3rd Reich
And only thing that's happen is I'ma get to sockin here and
Paigow and our socks be talkin law to the board again
And I thought I was out, pulled back in again
Back as a socker with the riff-raff again
The admins on IM, scratchin they heads again
Shapeshifter with his schtick PMin em
RT try to give this socka the set up again
Half a mill' by PayPal cause my Amex can
All because Slave felt harassed by em
Paigow played that boy in the kitchen like he's saccharin
But ain't nuttin sweet bout how I sock my posts

I got 99 problems Gatti and a sock ain't one - Ban me!

99 problems but socking ain't one
If you havin sock problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but socking ain't one - Ban me!


.. Whoo! Whoo! Uh, uh
Havin sock problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and socking ain't one, ha ha!
You crazy for this one Thurgreed! It's your boy!

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Uh, Atticus, Andrea Yates killed her kids in city of Houston (pop. 2,009,690).

If Kathy Sage, owner of the Whistle Stop Cafe in Melvern, Kansas, had said "This stuff is supposed to be in Houston or {insert large midwestern or southern city here}," I would consider this a legitimate distinction and would have avoided using Yates as an example of how barbarism is not a strictly urban side effect. But something tells me Kathy Sage thinks people in Houston are qualitatively different from people in NYC and LA, such that those were the cities she chose to distinguish from Melvern, Kansas instead of, say, the geographically nearest metropolis.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by ilikenewsocks
Me thinks thou doth protest too much.

Think about the circumstances under which those words were first uttered, and reconsider whether you want to quote them here.

If you examine the statement closely, all it really does is reaffirm the intuitive grasp of statistics possessed by all Red Staters. If you think about it, why yes, if this kind of freakish, senseless tragedy were to happen, the odds are far greater that it would happen in New York or LA than in Podunk, Kansas. I'd say that, barring outside factors*, the chances are roughly 18,000,000 to 420 that this would be the case.

You've got to be fucking kidding me. (In fact, I harbor a strong suspicion that you're really teasing me into a state of humorlessness. <-- Preemptive strike against "Whiff" post.) When an Olympic gold medalist comes from Melvern, Kansas, will Kathy Sage show the same "intuitive grasp of statistics possessed by all Red Staters" and admit that the greatest of human achievers is statistically more likely to arise from among from New Yorkers and Angelenos? Fuck no. I've never heard anyone in the Patch make that kind of admission --- it'll be all about smalltown values breeding champions and such. Can you honestly believe that her response to a horror like this was flatly to observe, suspending judgment, that LA and NYC are more populous by comparison to Kansas? Bitch, please. She should have said it was statistically most likely to happen in Shanghai or Mumbai.

Further, how do you square this with her actual phrasing, that this is "supposed to be in New York City or Los Angeles"? Or that "It blows you away when it's here," as though it doesn't when it isn't?

I commend you on your lawyering, but your plausibility leaves much to be desired.

If you consider the statement that way, it has nothing to do with the culture wars (unlike, say, your response), the nature of people who live in The United States of Canada, or any of the other crap. Given that the person uttering the statement was probably a simple Red Stater ambushed by a big-city reporter, I would be loath to subscribe any evil to her comment.

No doubt. And that is precisely the problem with the culture wars --- no one dares to question the sagacity and rectitude of the folksy heartlander, who is believed to be able to intuit truth better and faster than the best college professor can think his way there. To question this is treason. Worse, it's French.

I'm descended from a number of midwesterners. The supposed superiority of their weltanshaaung never translated into success for my family. Indeed, the Depression caught them flat-footed and left them drunk. It was only the ones who sought a change of scenery who improved their situation in life. The ones who stayed are probably still moaning about their perpetual victimhood.

I used to think people in Manhattan and Texas had a lock on geographical smugness. In 2004, they've been surpassed by people who are convinced of their own superiority but have a massive chip on their shoulders, too.

I blame Will Rogers --- if he had known what folksy anti-intellectualism would eventually be used for, he'd have become Tom Lehrer instead.

P.S. Susan Smith was from South Carolina and Andrea Yates was from Texas, so let's leave the Heartland out of this.

Okay. Tim McVeigh.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
[non-folksy intellectualism]

IT'S ON!!!

O.K., any of you podunk fucking motherfucking podunkers want to try to respond? Why not give us a bit of y'all's home spun wisdom? Entertain us with a parable about a barn cat and a possum. Surely you are not going to let this city slicker paint the entire Heartland as a bunch of slow talkin', hayseed chewin' bumpkins whose only source of education is the bible, the cornfield, and the occasional romp in the hay loft with Susie Jo? Are we going to just concede moral and intellectual superiority to the coasts?

"Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer." Will Rogers

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
...will Kathy Sage show the same "intuitive grasp of statistics possessed by all Red Staters" and admit that the greatest of human achievers is statistically more likely to arise from among from New Yorkers and Angelenos? Fuck no. I've never heard anyone in the Patch make that kind of admission --- it'll be all about smalltown values breeding champions and such.

...no one dares to question the sagacity and rectitude of the folksy heartlander, who is believed to be able to intuit truth better and faster than the best college professor can think his way there. To question this is treason. Worse, it's French.

I never thought about your first observation... I'm scanning my brain for a shred of red state acknowledgement of all the advances brought to them by NYers and Angelenos, but I can't recall any. After 9/11, the red staters didn't admit NY was the capitol and heart of the country. They said things like "NYers are different from us, but we're all Americans" or "I don't know NY, but we're all in this together." Why the caveats?

I think I can add some flesh to your second point... No one challenges rubes' alleged god given deeper earthy wisdom for two reasons. First, how do you argue with a rube? He's unread and doesn't consider alternative data. Ever try to debate against a person who's relying on a hunch? There's no point in it. So most thinkers don't engage rubes. No rube will go toe to toe with Stanley cavell at Oxford any time soon, so the rube wisdom goes forever unchallenged. Second, rubes deal in absolutes and shun analytical thought. Americans don't like to think. They find the idea that a hayseed can reach the same wisdom as a research scientist from natural intuition alone incredibly attractive. Believing the myth that Farmer John is as wise from old age as any formally educated person is from university schooling creates a false even playing field on which rubes can consider themselves as advanced as anyone else on the planet. This rube pride is really nothing more than the pervasive laziness of our culture repackaged - Americans want maximum return, minimal effort. The rubes are proud, but frustrated. They want respect, but they don't want to have to earn it on terms set by what they see as the "Eastern Intellectuals". What they're missing is that the these high fallutin' coastal measures of intelligence are not coastal at all - they're universal.

Maybe I should give them a hand - they're successfully rebelling against evolution, which is what they want, right?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by GA-Z
If you havin sock problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but socking ain’t one

I got my Sock Patrol flaming the Admins’ control
Slave’s crew wanna make sure my board access is closed
Board critics that say I's "Flames, Socks, and Trolls"
I'm OldSkool-Yahoo stupid, what type of knocks are those?
If you came up with the SKEKs in NoWhiteNoise’s zones
You’d still be socking to satisfy ya’ jonez
I'm like fuck the whiffers, Mr. R can rim my whole asshole
If you don't like my sockpuppets, you can scroll past then post
Got beef with the Admins when I retire from they show
they tried to delete my socks - well I don't give a shit, SO!
Admin promoters try to IM my sock ass
So page hits can soar and yield mo’ cash for they ass, sockistfucks!
I don't know what you take me as
Or understand the sock game that GA-Z has
I'm from, Yahoo to Infirm, King of Socks, all in good fun
I got 99 problems, but socking ain't one - Ban me!

99 problems but socking ain't one
If you havin sock problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but socking ain't one - Ban me!

The year is two ought-four, collabo with Paigow is gettin raw
Standin o’er my shoulder is fuckin Slave with his law
Got two choices all y'all, pull out from Board and stay afar or (hmm)
Re-join the Paigow, bring the socks to the fore
And I ain't tryin to see no interoffice face to face with Slave
But I got a few socks, I can flame his case
So I, come back to the heart of the Board
And he say

"Sock do you know why I'm bannin you fo’?"

Cause I'm young and I'm boyish and my wit really flow
Or do I look like GF-Sockkillah, I don’t know
Am I bound fo’ deletion or should I guess some mo'?

"Well you was violatin’ TOS sections six and fo’;
email and registration password and step up to our bar -
are you usin a confusin fake Paigow sock? I know a lot of you are"

I ain't playin yo shit, all my socks is legit

"Well do you mind if I search your IP Addy a little bit?"

Well my server data is blocked, by the firewall we don’t lack
And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that

"Aren't you sharp as a SKEK! You some type of
Greedy Partner or somethin, somebody Old Skool or somethin?"

Child I ain't grabbed the brassring (yet), but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't capriciously delete my shit

"Well we'll see how smart you are when EO’s smackdown comes"

I got 99 problems, but socking ain't one - ban me!

99 problems but socking ain't one
If you havin sock problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but socking ain't one - Ban me!

Now once upon a time, back on Infirm long ago
A socka like myself had to strongarm the West-hoes
These are not hoes like the FBetties who be frontin they pussy
But those corporate pussies havin no God damn rulz, try an' delete me
I try to bum rush em, email SockfortheMan
Pray for Chef to return, but them fools were bent on reform
You know the type, straight crazy psyche
Tried to destroy the GAs like the 3rd Reich
And only thing that's happen is I'ma get to sockin here and
Paigow and our socks be talkin law to the board again
And I thought I was out, pulled back in again
Back as a socker with the riff-raff again
The admins on IM, scratchin they heads again
Shapeshifter with his schtick PMin em
RT try to give this socka the set up again
Half a mill' by PayPal cause my Amex can
All because Slave felt harassed by em
Paigow played that boy in the kitchen like he's saccharin
But ain't nuttin sweet bout how I sock my posts

I got 99 problems Gatti and a sock ain't one - Ban me!

99 problems but socking ain't one
If you havin sock problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but socking ain't one - Ban me!


.. Whoo! Whoo! Uh, uh
Havin sock problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and socking ain't one, ha ha!
You crazy for this one Thurgreed! It's your boy!

Welcome back. And let me confirm that you do indeed got 99 problems...

...but a parody ain't one.

TM

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
[paradigmatic Sebatianisms]

Aaaaaaaaaw shit! IT. IS. ON.

I suppose Sebastian's take on this issue is not all that surprising. But still, he frames the issue in the type of nice, broad absolutisms that lend themselves to easy rebuttal. C'mon people, will nobody defend the rube's wisdom against the effete intellectual's education?

What they're missing is that the these high fallutin' coastal measures of intelligence are not coastal at all - they're universal.

I think one of the issues the Heartlanders have with the Coastal Types is that the Coastal Types believe you can substitute all sorts of words ("morality," "common sense") for "intelligence" in the above sentence and have it rung just as true. The delusion of the absolute universality of one's own belief structure is a dangerous hubris. It's like religion.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Second, rubes deal in absolutes and shun analytical thought.

*sigh*

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Okay. Tim McVeigh.

From New York.

[Shape Shifter]

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout I'm telling you why
Your reptilian humanoid overlords are coming to town

They're making a list
Checking it twice
Gonna find out who's sauteed or fried
Your reptilian humanoid overlords are coming to town

They see you when you're sleeping
They know when you're awake
They know if you'll taste bad or good
So be good for goodness sake

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout I'm telling you why
Your reptilian humanoid overlords are coming to town

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower

I think one of the issues the Heartlanders have with the Coastal Types is that the Coastal Types believe you can substitute all sorts of words ("morality," "common sense") for "intelligence" in the above sentence and have it rung just as true. The delusion of the absolute universality of one's own belief structure is a dangerous hubris. It's like religion.

I am going to make you my bitch. And you're going to like it.

What kind of half-assed piker do you think you're dealing with? Are you seriously accusing me of being some shrill Streisandesque Chomskyite who gets his politics from Mother Jones and cannot differentiate morals from intelligence?

Are you suggesting some sort of alternative measure of intelligence? Are you hinting that the criteria for how we discern the learned from the unlearned is should be modified to include non-traditional "life experience" of red staters? I'm surprised to hear that from you. I think you can measure intelligence* based on the wealth of ideas to which a person has been exposed and the extent to which these competing ideas have formed his worldview. If you read a lot, you'll get lots of theories and ideas in your head. Pieces of them will inform your thinking, and consequently, you'll develop thought processes and thoughts which are a mix of many other well considered views. It is possible for the average rube who's unread except for the bible to reach some universal life truths and have a very keen understanding of how life operates based on experience alone. However, his experience is going to be limited, and can hardly be considered on par with that of a person who's read - and considered (not knee-jerk rejected because it conflicts with scripture or his traditional values) various ideas and theories from people with different experiences and education.

* I don't consider intelligence the mere grey matter firepower you're given at birth. I think its more how you've cultivated your mind.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
C'mon people, will nobody defend the rube's wisdom against the effete intellectual's education?

withdrawn-

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout I'm telling you why
Your reptilian humanoid overlords are coming to town

They're making a list
Checking it twice
Gonna find out who's sauteed or fried
Your reptilian humanoid overlords are coming to town

They see you when you're sleeping
They know when you're awake
They know if you'll taste bad or good
So be good for goodness sake

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout I'm telling you why
Your reptilian humanoid overlords are coming to town

How unexpected! You're taking parody lessons from NFH.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
How unexpected! You're taking parody lessons from NFH.

Is it Friday or something?