Fringey's taut-abbed painter

[Fugee]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Interesting. Where do you live now?

TM

In a small city in the heartland where I don't even know all my neighbors' business (much less everyone in the city's business) but would still be shocked if one of my neighbors committed a heinous crime. Unless it was the person from the next street over who figures out that it is the woman across the street who keeps calling the city to complain about her.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Do you think I'll get contempt if I write the following brief:

"Red blanket cat soap phone monkey bar Lou Reed and the Velvets Lucy in the Sky pie eye hello hey now my baby don't shake it like she used to mountain top candy carved melotrone sverethelementment, Inc. Cazart! Amen. Hallelujah.

I could argue the above with just as much effectiveness to this Court as any of the well reasoned arguments made in the past several months. Either as a result of activist bent or sheer inability to understand the statute at issue, it is clear this Court will not follow the law."

I am considering whether to argue gibberish to the Court in my next appearance. You think that will get me thrown in the clink? I am arguing before a political hack with brain the size of a walnut. The man's an utter imbecile.

Most lawyers I know would be held in contempt. I mean, it is, quite literally, contempt for the court. I would probably be disbarred if I tried something like that.

But you? I think a wily, smooth-talking, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants alley cat like you might just be able to pull this off.

Good luck and Godspeed.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Not Bob
I find that I really have to be careful to avoid confusion when he is in his Tribute to Paigow mode -- especially when she is also posting.

Anyhow, I am in a funk, and watching the Coastal Urban Sophisticates bash Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel just ain't cheering me up.

So, I will leave early and go to the mall. That may make me happy -- I still have some shopping to do, so I will go buy racy lingerie, or books, or music, or shoes.

When the political and cultural divide that is currently ripping apart our nation's soul has caused even Not Bob to give up the ghost and retreat to the malls, we know the terrorists have won.

Can we please go back to calling it flyover land?

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I never thought about your first observation... I'm scanning my brain for a shred of red state acknowledgement of all the advances brought to them by NYers and Angelenos, but I can't recall any. After 9/11, the red staters didn't admit NY was the capitol and heart of the country. They said things like "NYers are different from us, but we're all Americans" or "I don't know NY, but we're all in this together." Why the caveats?

I think I can add some flesh to your second point... No one challenges rubes' alleged god given deeper earthy wisdom for two reasons. First, how do you argue with a rube? He's unread and doesn't consider alternative data. Ever try to debate against a person who's relying on a hunch? There's no point in it. So most thinkers don't engage rubes. No rube will go toe to toe with Stanley cavell at Oxford any time soon, so the rube wisdom goes forever unchallenged. Second, rubes deal in absolutes and shun analytical thought. Americans don't like to think. They find the idea that a hayseed can reach the same wisdom as a research scientist from natural intuition alone incredibly attractive. Believing the myth that Farmer John is as wise from old age as any formally educated person is from university schooling creates a false even playing field on which rubes can consider themselves as advanced as anyone else on the planet. This rube pride is really nothing more than the pervasive laziness of our culture repackaged - Americans want maximum return, minimal effort. The rubes are proud, but frustrated. They want respect, but they don't want to have to earn it on terms set by what they see as the "Eastern Intellectuals". What they're missing is that the these high fallutin' coastal measures of intelligence are not coastal at all - they're universal.

Maybe I should give them a hand - they're successfully rebelling against evolution, which is what they want, right?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Most lawyers I know would be held in contempt. I mean, it is, quite literally, contempt for the court. I would probably be disbarred if I tried something like that.

But you? I think a wily, smooth-talking, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants alley cat like you might just be able to pull this off.

Good luck and Godspeed.

I have to find the meaning of "contempt" in the legal setting. I jokingly told a judge last year in open motion court that I didn't think any of his rulings were valid, but he was a real pleasure to be in front of (he was a pretty funny guy). He busted my balls right back by saying he thought every one of my positions was specious.

Would it be contempt for me to openly say in private conversations that a judge is an idiot or utterly unqualified? I say things like that to opposing counsel all the time. Why should I not be allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment right to critique things as I see them. An awful lot of state court judges are fools and charlatans. I think its terrible for society to hide that fact. People should know the low caliber of a healthy percentage of the people on the bench - they'd litigate a hell of a lot less if they did.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Can we please go back to calling it flyover land?

No. "Flyover land" is a backhanded way to imply you're a jetsetter. Its also a favorite of internet journalists. Its more a self-compliment than a put down. Doesn't do the job effectively.

Not surprisingly, people I know who spend a lot of time in the air never use that description. And "red states" is easier.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Fugee
Why pick on NYC? Not only is it the poster child of big cities, but check the TV schedule: three varieties of Law & Order and CSI:NY and that's just network. LA is the biggest city on the other coast and has had its share of crime news.

My translation is that this shattered her sense of complete security of believing that bad things should happen only in big big cities where the danger of the unknown is all around you, not in small towns where you are surrounded by people you [think] you know.

Maybe Atticus is right and she thinks people in NYC and LA are worse than in Kansas. But maybe he isn't.

I would be more inclined to support your view that her anxieties were purely quantitative, but remember also that we live in a world where William Donahue asserts that Hollywood is a town where we eschew Christian values, and reject families and nativity scenes for anal sex.*

I also remember prior to moving out to LA hearing my Red State mother-in-law exclaim "Los Angeles! Why ... it's such a godless place!"

(Once we reassured her that any place that films Touched by an Angel can't be all bad, we were able to move forward to more pleasant topics. I've also noticed that her anxieties have not restrained her tourist tendencies.)

Gattigap




*Well, OK, we do. But that's not the point.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Gattigap
I've also noticed that her anxieties have not restrained her tourist tendencies.

You don't lie. That bitch is up here every weekend.

TM

Because this is the time of year for countdowns and lists and best ofs, I propose that we make a list of the best of GA 04. On this list I wouldlike to see such greatest hits as the NFH song that triggered the SS parody. I would like to see Sebby's post where he states that most people would mainly agree that he is mostly correct that I am anti fake tits out of jealousy and longing that i wasnt so flat chested. And who can forget the post wher Atticus declared that anyone who gets tipsy is shitting on his bed? I think Flower maybe had a agood post this year but not sure if it would make a list. Anybody up for the compilation?

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Gattigap

(Once we reassured her that any place that films Touched by an Angel can't be all bad, we were able to move forward to more pleasant topics. I've also noticed that her anxieties have not restrained her tourist tendencies.)

Gattigap

Touched by an Angel is filmed in Utah.

And I only know this because an actor friend of mine was on it briefly. (ok, you got me, I watch it every chance I get)

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Not Bob
I find that I really have to be careful to avoid confusion when he is in his Tribute to Paigow mode -- especially when she is also posting.

Anyhow, I am in a funk, and watching the Coastal Urban Sophisticates bash Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel just ain't cheering me up.

So, I will leave early and go to the mall. That may make me happy -- I still have some shopping to do, so I will go buy racy lingerie, or books, or music, or shoes.

I was something of a peeker growing up, and it became something of a game between my parents and me; I'd get more and more aggressive searching for my presents and the devised exotic hiding schemes to thwart my efforts.

This game reached a climax when I was in junior high. I desperately wanted either a stereo or an amp for my guitar, and I wanted each so bad I could taste it. One evening a week or two before xmas, my mom got home from work a couple hours late, and I noticed a couple of large boxes in the back seat covered by a sheet. Thinking quickly, I suggested that to my mom that since she must be tired from working so late, so she should let my brother and I pick up a pizza for dinner. She agreed, but said that there were presents in the car and warned us not to peek.

After promising not to look, my brother and I dashed to the car. There was a moment of stillness after the doors closed, and we looked at each other with mischievous grins. As soon as he promised he wouldn't tell Mom, I dove over the seat to pull the sheet to reveal -- empty fucking boxes. I'd been had.

My brother howled with laughter all the way to and from the pizza parlor. I was begging him not to tell -- "Please, please don't tell." With great solemnity, he assured me that he wouldn't rat me out.

As soon as we got in the house, my mom asked if we had peeked, and my brother immediately broke into hysterical, convulsive, laughter. He couldn't even talk to tell the story, he was just doubled over and pointing at me. I threw the pizza at him and ran to my room, humiliated.

I learned an important lesson that day. Never trust anyone, especially your family.

Originally posted by NotFromHere
How does my name keep coming up for these? I did one parody once ever. I'm not doing this.

Whiff.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Because this is the time of year for countdowns and lists and best ofs, I propose that we make a list of the best of GA 04. On this list I wouldlike to see such greatest hits as the NFH song that triggered the SS parody. I would like to see Sebby's post where he states that most people would mainly agree that he is mostly correct that I am anti fake tits out of jealousy and longing that i wasnt so flat chested. And who can forget the post wher Atticus declared that anyone who gets tipsy is shitting on his bed? I think Flower maybe had a agood post this year but not sure if it would make a list. Anybody up for the compilation?

I don't have a direct cite, but the return of the paigow would certainly top the list. Sorry, Hank, Picasso gets bumped down.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Whiff.

You have been gone a long time...

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Objection. Relevance?

Sweet! I got a new Sebbyism. I must change my location immeditaely.