Fringey's taut-abbed painter

[SlaveNoMore]

sunnybunny
Even after our love fest yesterday, Slavie, you are fired as my movie critic. The best film of the year, far and away, is Riding Giants.

I said "one of", pookie.

[lookingformarket]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
Even after our love fest yesterday, Slavie, you are fired as my movie critic. The best film of the year, far and away, is Riding Giants.

Couldn't one be in the non-porn category? I'm just intrigued if Riding Giants is a John Holmes film or if Carnie Wilson is making porn now.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
The best film of the year, far and away, is Riding Giants.

If you liked it that much, rent Endless Summer I & II.

[Gattigap]

While we're talking about the Movies of the Year, let us not forget the new, feel-good movie of 2005, The Phantom of the Opera.

The New Yorker's Anthony Lane clearly lives for moments like this, as he slices and dices this movie into small, bloody pieces. Better yet, his review mixes pop-cultural references and literary allusions that only an FBer could truly appreciate. We should invite him to join us.

• The plot is impressively free of anything that does not smell of unpasteurized melodrama. The bulk of it takes place in 1870, in Paris—ah, Paris, so overwhelming in its impact that while some of its blessed citizens remember to speak English with a French accent, others do not. We are at the Opéra, where everything and, if possible, everybody that can be gilded with gold has received the necessary treatment. The new patron is the Vicomte de Chagny (Patrick Wilson), who is long of locks, blue of blood, and unquenchably drippy of demeanor. The in-house diva is Carlotta—played with gusto by Minnie Driver, who has the gall to suggest that there might be some comic value to be trawled from this movie, and who is therefore hastily shoved to the side of the proceedings before she can cause any more trouble. When Carlotta flounces out, her place is taken by Christine (Emmy Rossum), who until now has been, yes, a simple chorus girl, and who brings the house down on, yes, her first performance.
  
  But wait. There is more. Christine, who in other respects seems perfectly sane, believes that she has been taught to sing by the ghost of her father. In fact, her tutor is a nice lad in half a hockey mask who lives under the floorboards. He is the Phantom (Gerard Butler), his career ambitions include theatre management, and to get to his lair you go through the looking glass, along the creepy corridor, down the spiral staircase, take the first horse on your right (what the hell is a horse doing down there?), hop into the punt, drift under the dripping portcullis, past the multiple mirrors, and, bang, you’re there, right in the middle of a bed shaped like a giant eagle. Watch out for its beak when you bend over to take your boots off.
  
  As befits a man who began his career dressing the windows of Bendel’s, Joel Schumacher decorates his latest enterprise to within an inch of its life, if not beyond. There are nods to the inventiveness of Orson Welles and Jean Cocteau (the live, candle-bearing arms emerging from the wall are yet another steal from “Beauty and the Beast”), but Schumacher’s principal debt is to the higher reaches of the textile industry, and if you ever longed to know what it feels like to be asphyxiated by brocade, here is your chance. The irony is that, as visual habits go, there is none more threadbare than this brand of subterranean gothic, at once fussy and lumpen, with its frankly unhygienic mixture of lingerie and dungeons. It reminds us that “The Phantom of the Opera” is a period piece, and that the period in question is not 1870 but 1986, when Lloyd Webber first presented his production to the world. We should not be surprised, then, if this bellowing beast of a movie looks and sounds like the extended special-edition remix of a Duran Duran video.

[casserole]

Originally posted by bilmore
If you liked it that much, rent Endless Summer I & II.

Ohmygod, that retort is like an endless bummer dude. did someone slip you witless pills in your holiday eggnog?

As for movies, Sideways gets a very big thumbs up! A very very good pic. One of the very best flicks of the '04 (along with summer blockbuster spiderman2). Very very funny, yet also very serious. Nice character development. Plus Sandra Oh gives me a boner.

Go see it!

[bilmore]

Originally posted by casserole
Ohmygod, that retort is like an endless bummer dude. did someone slip you witless pills in your holiday eggnog?

It wasn't a retort. It was a recommendation. I'll even follow it up with this: If you like the Endless Summer movies, then go get On Any Sunday, an MX docu, made by the same guy who made ESI (who was the father of the guy who made ESII).

You talk funny.

[Shape Shifter]

THE INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL TRIBUNAL
FOR THE FORMER GA REPUBLIC

THE PROSECUTOR OF THE TRIBUNAL
AGAINST
slave

INDICTMENT
The Prosecutor of the International Criminal Tribunal for the former GA Republic, pursuant to her authority under Article 18 of the Statute of the Tribunal, charges:

slave, aka 4thyearslave, aka 5thyearslave, aka 6thyearslave aka 7thyearslave, aka slave4ever, aka slavenomore, aka shaved&confused, aka slavedbythebell, aka Admin bin Laden, aka the Hairless Consig, etc.

with CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY and VIOLATIONS OF THE LAWS OR CUSTOMS OF WAR as set forth below:

BACKGROUND
1. Around September 1998, someone started up a club called Greedy Associates, and decided that it would be a place for law firm associates to exchange information about their respective firms. Associates at law firms around the country started reading the club and contributing. These associates all became known as "Greedy Associates," or "GAs" for short.

2. After the original Greedy Associates board had been spammed and turned into a virtual wasteland, the entire cast of characters that had originally populated it left for the greener pastures of the RealGAs board. Every so often, however, a GA would check back on the original board to see if it continued to be a moron-a-thon. DebtSlave, in lamenting the usefulness of the original Greedy Associate haven, coined the term, "Icky Board," due to the nature of the posts that were populating the board. Icky Board was later shortened to "IB," which some people interpret as "Idiot Board."

3. Well, the GAs found the truth in that old adage during their time at Yahoo! The RealGAs and various regional GA boards were often times unavailable for viewing, or would fail to display certain messages, or were just painfully slow in general. FindLaw’s Infirmation.com approached the GAs, and asked them if they would be willing to change hosts. The GAs explained that if would build a site that had better specs, a better "look and feel," and more reliability than did the original Yahoo! clubs, then they would be willing to move the boards over to their site. FindLaw’s Infirmation.com came through, offering spell check, search features, and far better reliability than the GAs had experienced in the last few months with Yahoo!, and the GAs relocated to FindLaw’s Infirmation.com’s greener pastures.

4. In the old Yahoo! clubs, people who either created a club or were granted those editorial powers were known as club "founders." RealGAs had 11 founders. Upon making the move to FindLaw, there were back room dealings among the founders (later to be known as “flounders”), replete with smoke, sex, hookers, booze, backstabbings, recriminations, and of course money. It was a sordid affair, a tale as old as time or bilmore, depending on your personal views of Creation.
5. For a time there was peace in the GA Republic, in the time of multo, Indentured Serpant, cosmogirl, plated, and other classic old skool-type posters. But soon all the original old skool types were cashing their royalty checks and stock options and chilling with Puffy at Hotel du Cap, sending the GA Republic into steady decline. Quality socks discouraged by the iron fist of SFTM, posters began phoning it. The greener pastures soon turned red with the blood of sock patriots. The GA Republic, faced with mass exterminations and socknic cleansing, soon realized that they no longer controlled their homeland.

6. Sometime during the forgoing period, paigow and slave had sex.

7. As a result of the persecutions, heavy-handedness, and blatant ABUSES OF AUTHORITY (now known as the “Stalin Board”), the cool kids on infirm moved on to lawtalkers. The old skool cred-hungry slave saw his chance to seize power during the transitional chaos and tumult and muscled his way into the position of Admin, Hairless Consig and Warlord within the newly established GA Republic.

THE ACCUSED
8. slave was born at a time unknown, presumably in a Blue State. His educational credentials are suspected to be forgeries and his professional career as a “lawyer” is undistinguished. He is rumored to hold a position as an associate at a thoroughly disreputable firm in the Pacific NW, where his office is often referred to as the “pubicle cubicle.” In his ample spare time, he wields power as Admin, Hairless Consig and Warlord on the lawtalkers anonymous internet-type lawyer message boards.

SUPERIOR AUTHORITY
9. As Hairless Consig and Warlord, slave performs his duties either personally or through “commands, orders and decisions.” In addition to his de jure powers, slave exercises extensive de facto control over numerous institutions essential to, or involved in, the conduct of the offenses alleged herein.

GENERAL ALLEGATIONS
10. At all times relevant to this indictment, slave occupied his position of Hairless Consig and Warlord of lawtalkers.

11. All acts and omissions charged as crimes against humanity were part of a widespread or systematic attack directed against the lawtalkers civilian population.

12. During his tenure as Admin, Hairless Consig and Warlord of lawtalkers, slave has engaged in arbitrarily capricious ABUSES OF POWER, such as sock and/or pussy flipping without justification and/or warning. Additionally, slave has threatened and/or implemented deletions of posts, posters and/or socks for purported preposterous TOS violation allegations when it furthers his fiendish goals. And slave and paigow had sex.

CHARGES

CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY
13. On Tuesday, December 28, 2004, slave outed or “flipped” a sock known as Hairless Consigliere as belonging to penske, which it may or may not, but due to the cowed deference shown to slave by virtue of his immense power as Admin, Hairless Consig and Warlord of lawtalkers and his access to urls, many believed the sock known as Hairless Consigliere to be yet another penske sock without stopping to consider the implications of Hairless Consigliere being a penske sock, which it may or may not be. Said flipping was done without warning, in public or private, in violation of basic GA Republican principles such as Fair Warning, and was done by slave under the cloak of TOS in an attempt to consolidate his already vast power.

14. On many other occasions too numerous to list here, deletions of posts, posters and/or socks were threatened/implemented by slave under the cloak of TOS in an attempt to consolidate his already vast power. slave’s ABUSE OF POWER chills future sockery, stifles creativity, and could lead to the disappearance of some of the GA Republic’s most valued and original voices. Accordingly, slave's ABUSES OF POWER are crimes not only against individual posters, but against humanity at large.

15. slave and paigow had sex. Upon information and belief, slave had sex with other posters as well (but I’ll never tell). Due to slave’s shaved and drunken condition during these events, his actions must be construed as TORTURE.

COUNT 1
(ABUSE OF POWER)
Count 1: ABUSE OF POWER, a CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY, punishable under Article 5(d) of the Statute of the Tribunal.

COUNT 2
(TORTURE)
Count 2: TORTURE, a CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY, punishable under Article 3 of the Statute of the Tribunal and recognised by Article 3(1)(a) (torture) of the GA Conventions.

COUNT 3
(PERSECUTIONS)
Count 4: Persecutions of innocent socks on political, racial and religious grounds, a CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY, punishable under Article 5(h) of the Statute of the Tribunal.

Respectfully submitted,

Shape Shifter
Counsel for Humanity

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
THE INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL TRIBUNAL Shape Shifter
Counsel for Humanity

I think your clients have a "standing" problem.

[casserole]

Originally posted by bilmore
If you like the Endless Summer movies, then go get On Any Sunday, an MX docu, made by the same guy who made ESI (who was the father of the guy who made ESII).

You talk funny.

I hated the first one and never had a desire to see the next one. I was offended by the concept of underage sex.

Originally posted by bilmore
You talk funny.

No, you listen funny.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by bilmore
I think your clients have a "standing" problem.

Of course you are free to opt out of Humanity if you so choose.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Shape Shifter
Counsel for Humanity

Beyond the euphemistic name for your client, I doubt that the Lizard Overlords will be pleased with your recent pro bono work, no?

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Gattigap
Beyond the euphemistic name for your client, I doubt that the Lizard Overlords will be pleased with your recent pro bono work, no?

Conflicts, schmonflicts.

[casserole]

Originally posted by casserole
I hated the first one and never had a desire to see the next one. I was offended by the concept of underage sex.

forget that last post, I thought you were referencing Endless Love 1 and 2. I've never seen the Endless Summer flics. Are they good?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Of course you are free to opt out of Humanity if you so choose.

Were any Americans among those bothered by Slave?

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Were any Americans among those bothered by Slave?

Now you're just trying to pick a fight.

I like it.