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Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
So Tom Ridge says we're definitely probably going to be attacked by Al Quaida sometime between now and November (though since everyone was warned back in December to look out for suspicious people buying almanacs, maybe the terrorists were thwarted from getting reliable intel on when the election is...). I'm cool with that, thanks for the heads up, Mr. Ridge, I'll get my duct tape and plastic sheeting out of the attic. BUT, wait a second! Mr. Ridge also says that he's not moving the terror threat level from the on-edge, but-not-too-on-edge Yellow to the more-uncomfortably-on-edge Orange. Should I still get the plastic sheeting and duct tape to a more readily accessable location or not?
I' m conflicted. On the one hand, we're about to be attacked. On the other hand, our terror threat level is pretty much at the same level it has been since they put the system in place. On the other other hand, back in May, John Ashcroft said that we were going to be attacked at some point this summer. It's all terribly confusing. I'm beginning to think that perhaps, maybe, possibly the terror threat level system has a flaw... Or perhaps, maybe, possibly, someone's trying to scare the crap out of me.
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It sounds like they are having commitment issues. Sure, this terrorist threat looks pretty good, but there could be a better one just around the corner. We need to keep looking over the shoulder of this threat even as we pull it in tighter during the dance, rubbing our hips against it. But if we call this one an orange, do we then have to call a better one that happens along a red? If we do that, what happens when we are dry-humping it and we see a STILL BETTER one coming into the room?
Better just to talk this one up to our friends, getting them all hot and bothered, while we masturbate to the thought of an orange that must be just over the horizon.
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