Merry Generic Winter Day-Off With No Religious Content

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
One of my college roommates got wildly drunk and shat in my closet, thinking it was the bathroom. But that was embarrassing for him, and just foul for me.

Were we roommates?

eta: ps: [true confession] I knew it was your closet [/true confession]. I thought it would be funny beause I was wildly drunk.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
When I was in graduate school, one of my boyfriend's roommates had, I thought, accidentally neglected to flush the toilet, when in fact he had deliberately left in unflushed so that his other roommates could admire his digestive prowess.

That was embarrassing and foul for me, yet his only emotion was disappointment that I was the only one who had seen his achievement and I did not even have the courtesy to appreciate it as such.

This same roommate had seen me naked after I had fallen out of the shower (yes, I was drunk) and could not get up. I had taken the shower curtain with me. It was about as effective in preventing my fall as TM's bouncer friend.

I may have been your bf's roommate......anyway, that episode brought home the importance of always carrying a digital camera with me to record monumentous events.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
What is the most uncomfortable situation you've ever been in at work or outside of work?

At work: We had a summer associate event and the summer associates were doing skits. One skit went a little long and wasn't very funny and the drunk partner sitting next to me actually booed them. Very loudly. He also turned to me, mistakenly thinking he was speaking in a quiet voice and said, "What the fuck is this? Are they stupid? This sucks."

Outside of work: I have a few examples (one involving a police station and the cops telling me the proper abreviation for race when filling out a form was "N"), but the one that sticks out most is when a friend of mine (nicest guy ever) was hopelessly in love with this French woman. She cheated on him constantly. He knew he cheated on her, but it was one of those types of relationships. She just had him. If he left the room, she would shamelessly flirt with any of us.

Anyway, we were all hanging out, we all knew her deal and he proceeds to propose to her in front of everyone.* She tries to change the subject before he can really put himself too far out there, but he just keeps pushing. She says, "No," flat-out. He's crushed. And then they don't leave! She wants to stay and drink and he agrees to stay. Horrible.

TM

*I'll never understand why anyone does this in public when they aren't 100% sure the answer will be "Yes." It's like they think they have a better shot at making it happen because no one would want to embarass someone else by turning them down in front of other people.

1. In bed with another girl.

2. With a friend's girlfriend.

3. Catching a friend with my girlfriend.

4. Catching a girlfriend cheating on me with some older guy.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
I may have been your bf's roommate......anyway, that episode brought home the importance of always carrying a digital camera with me to record monumentous events.

Don't drop it.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by ironweed
I tend to suppress my memories of the most disturbing ones. Which, coincidentally, all seem to involve GA happy hours gone wrong. I am an infallibly smoove operator at all other times.

Except when called on to remember someone's name. I often find myself at the point where, having met someone several times, it is no longer possible to ask to be reminded of their name again. This is the point at which, if I am lucky enough to be with my darling wife, and luckier still that she has not met the person yet, I will stand like a mannequin when it is time to introduce the acquaintance to her. This is our universal signal that I have forgotten the acquaintance's name. Usually, my darling wife catches on quickly, introduces herself and the name is revealed with a minimum of suspicion on the acquaintance's part. Other times, especially when I have done something to anger my darling wife in the immediate (or distant - who can remember?) past, she will introduce herself and then helpfully add that "[ironweed] forgot your name, you know." Then we all laugh. Ha ha ha.

Well, just remember, it's "Gatti G. Gap," motherfucker. If it helps, I'll be the one with my fly zipped.

[Cletus Miller]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
wow! you think she weighs 300-400 lbs. that means she is actually, what 500, 600 lbs?

sorry everyone. had to do this one.

It's clear why she didn't include an "at work" situation, as everyone here knows that story.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by nononono
Some guy did that in my freshman dorm, only right out in the common hall. He also peed on the soda machine, also while drunk. He didn't seem uncomfotable about either situation. More proud. Pretty sure he became in investment banker, if anyone finds that alluring.

Maybe he was competing in a dorm grossness contest. Didja ever think of that? Don't hate the playa, hate the game.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
1. In bed with another girl.

2. With a friend's girlfriend.

3. Catching a friend with my girlfriend.

4. Catching a girlfriend cheating on me with some older guy.

Did this all happen simultaneously? Were you at Plato's Retreat or something?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by nononono
Some guy did that in my freshman dorm, only right out in the common hall. He also peed on the soda machine, also while drunk. He didn't seem uncomfotable about either situation. More proud. Pretty sure he became in investment banker, if anyone finds that alluring.

Oh, God. You can't do college stories. We don't have the bandwidth.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Don't drop it.

Vaguely apropos of which, my high point of the week was finding someone's cell phone on the bus and returning it to them. It felt awesome.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ironweed
Did this all happen simultaneously? Were you at Plato's Retreat or something?

Club Kama Sutra??? I donno. I'd had a lot of poppers...

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Don't drop it.

Now you tell me......

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Oh, God. You can't do college stories. We don't have the bandwidth.

College story. Freshman year my dad came to visit. We went off on Saturday to visit his parents, who lived in the area, and stayed the night. Sunday morning (late morning . . . even early afternoon), we go back to my dorm, so I can show him my room (for better or worse). Anyway, my roommate, who didn't own a necktie, had pulled both mattresses onto the floor, and clearly had just gotten done spending the night repeatedly boning his skanky girlfriend. His naked body, her panties, and condom wrappers everywhere. Good times! My dad had the good fortune of getting out of town a couple hours later . . .

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
College story. Freshman year my dad came to visit. We went off on Saturday to visit his parents, who lived in the area, and stayed the night. Sunday morning (late morning . . . even early afternoon), we go back to my dorm, so I can show him my room (for better or worse). Anyway, my roommate, who didn't own a necktie, had pulled both mattresses onto the floor, and clearly had just gotten done spending the night repeatedly boning his skanky girlfriend. His naked body, her panties, and condom wrappers everywhere. Good times! My dad had the good fortune of getting out of town a couple hours later . . .

No necktie?!?! Oh the humanity!

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
My stories are too long so I'm only telling one:

My BF and I have known each other for a number of years. We were close platonic friends and then a few years ago, he became available. We were hanging out, inching slowly towards romantic/sexual involvement. I made plans for us to go out to dinner and a concert with my former housemate, J, who had just moved back to town after several years away. They knew each other from back when I lived with J but hadn't seen each other for years.*

After dinner and the show, we went back to my house for some dessert and drinks. I asked BF to drive J home, which he did because he's a nice guy.

A few days later, J calls me up and says she wants to have another concert-with-dessert afterwards get-together again at her house. She invites me and wants to invite BF. She asks me for his email and asks me a few questions about his romantic status but in a way that I don't pick up on her intentions.

A few days after that, BF calls me up and tells me that she has written this email to him and she's said that she's very attracted to him, how much the kiss on the cheek good night meant to her, etc. I tell him if he's interested, he should go for it. He says he will call her and tell her that he just wants to be friends.

A few more days pass by and BF and I end up finally sleeping together. We're both a little freaked out about risking ruining our friendship but happy. A day or so after that, I have dinner with J. After dinner, she is telling me about her plans for this upcoming get-together and whom she has invited. I express surprise that she's invited so many people and she says, Well, I didn't want it to be too uncomfortable with [BF]...did he talk to you about me? I, misunderstanding, say yes, he did. Fairly quickly, I realize she thinks she has this hot date with him and I'm the third wheel. Not knowing how else to explain it, I blurt out that we had just slept together, blah, blah, blah, TMI. By now, we are back at my house. J goes into the bathroom and stays in there for really looong time. She comes out composed but is clearly thrown off by this turn of events.

After she leaves, I call BF and tell him what happened. We brace ourselves and by the next day get some rather psychoish emails uninviting us to the get-together and implying that we have a twisted relationship.

I saw her once after that when she returned some things she'd borrowed before she left town again for good. It was clear that she felt like she was not in the wrong and we've never spoken since then.

*The last time BF remembers seeing J, she actually demanded at 9 pm on a Saturday night that I made BF and then-SO leave our house because she was studying and we were listening to some music in the LR. That was also very uncomfortable since we weren't making a lot of noise and they were about to leave anyway. She just looked like a raging psycho-bitch, which she could be sometimes.

How was she in the wrong? Neither of you gave her any indication that you were together. She sent him an email where she expressed interest and apparently he didn't let her know what was going on after receiving it. She specifically asked you his "romantic status" and you presumably told her that he had none, knowing, as you said, that you were "inching slowly towards romantic/sexual involvement." Then, after she feels like she has made her intentions apparent, out of the blue, you tell her you fucked him.

TM