Merry Generic Winter Day-Off With No Religious Content

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I don't think so. I had doubts before the wedding (call me stupid, because I married him anyway) but everyone seemed to think he was just great. If someone else had said something that didn't make me think I was crazy for having these doubts, I might not have married him. It was a case of me not trusting my own judgment.

You say, "before the wedding," but what does that mean? The day before? A month before? Right after you got engaged? The whole time from the engagement until you walked down the aisle? If there was a window where you were having serious doubts, how can you expect people to know when that is?

Also, people react to your feelings. If you expressed some doubt or looked like you were having serious second thoughts, I'm sure your friends or family would have sat down with you and eventually would have gotten around to telling you what they thought. But everyone's goal is to see their friends happy. And short of marrying someone who is a fucking complete dick who might abuse you in some way or make your life otherwise completely miserable, they will assume you are doing it because it makes you happy. That assumption will be stronger the closer you get to the date of the wedding.

TM

[nononono]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I don't think so. I had doubts before the wedding (call me stupid, because I married him anyway) but everyone seemed to think he was just great. If someone else had said something that didn't make me think I was crazy for having these doubts, I might not have married him. It was a case of me not trusting my own judgment.

eta -- I guess I shouldn't blame my friends for my lack of faith in my own judgment.

I wish I had been more open with friends about the doubt or concerns I had. I don't think I let anyone else in on those concerns, and they were not even really fully recognized by me. But to all future brides, some advice: if, before you are married, you're hardly having sex, what sex you are having is really not your style, and you have already had to cut off all conversation about finances and turn them all over to him because your styles were so utterly incompatible, then you need to put the pretty dress back on the hanger and take a breather. Oh, also if he cross-examines you on your spending even though you double his earnings, have paid off his debt and got him into your fabulous rent-stabilized apartment in the poshest neighborhood ever; or if he wants to make you do things, even socialize, exactly the way he does, pay attention and stop.right.there.

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
one of my best friends had been serious with this woman for a year or so. They moved in together and she stopped her part time college and just worked at a store. I has known the woman for only a few months.

As a sanity check he asked me whether he was crazy for considering marrying her.

I said- she seems great-
-Hank, there's a hesitation in your voice-
-no, I'd have to make shit up to criticize her-

I should mention we were boozing and he was serious Italian Catholic needed to have babies someday.

-tell me what you'd make up-
-Fine. why did she quit school as soon as you start getting serious, MRS degree? AND she has no hips. can she have babies?

he laughed it off. a few years later I was an usher at the wedding. I moved back to Detroit, had our first kid about the same time, and we hung out as couples all the time. Until, a few years later when they decided to see a doctor about why she wasn't getting pregnant.

Turns out she can't have babies. They fired us as friends.

You missed your calling. perhaps you could have been a fertility assessor.

So what ended up happening? did they adopt? divorce?

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by nononono
I wish I had been more open with friends about the doubt or concerns I had. I don't think I let anyone else in on those concerns, and they were not even really fully recognized by me. But to all future brides, some advice: if, before you are married, you're hardly having sex, what sex you are having is really not your style, and you have already had to cut off all conversation about finances and turn them all over to him because your styles were so utterly incompatible, then you need to put the pretty dress back on the hanger and take a breather. Oh, also if he cross-examines you on your spending even though you double his earnings, have paid off his debt and got him into your fabulous rent-stabilized apartment in the poshest neighborhood ever; or if he wants to make you do things, even socialize, exactly the way he does, pay attention and stop.right.there.

What style of sex were you having?

[nononono]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
What style of sex were you having?

Uber-vanilla. Infrequently.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by nononono
...what sex you are having is really not your style...

Please elaborate.

TM

eta: Nevermind.

[notcasesensitive]

by ncs

[outable]A long, long time ago (four or five years?), I lived in Dallas and I had a boyfriend (some of you have met him) who played in a band. The band was pretty well known for one big party that they threw every year. Spring Bash. The drummer was a big Dallas scenester and so he would get over a thousand people to turn out for this party, which was held in a larger music venue in town.

I had a friend who we will call M, who was dating the biggest asshole I've ever met in my life. We'll call him Doug That Enormous Dickhead (or D for short). One year they were fighting when Spring Bash occurred and she didn't come (despite the fact that one of her best friends' (me) boyfriend was sponsoring the party) because she heard through her friends circle that D was planning to go. D was not close friends with any of the sponsors of the party, but he was acquaintances with the drummer, so he and his asshole friends decided to show up. It just so happens that a couple of my gay friends decided to go too and they had made their feelings about D clear to M (who had passed that information on to D). D saw my friends there, class act that he was, elbowed one of them as he walked past. More than once that night. The guy he chose to pick on was the smallest of the group. My dear friend Robert, who had been quite sick and weighed less than 140 at the time. D was a gym rat who probably weighed 210 or so.

Bad feelings came out of that experience. Nothing happened...

The next year, Spring Bash, M and D are "broken up" (this happened frequently, but we never knew whether it would stick or not). M goes to Spring Bash, but leaves quickly when she sees D and his asshole friends show up. At this point, D obviously knows that we will be there (what with Mr. Man being in the band). Some of the people I was with were very angry to see him show up. They (wrongly, in my opinion) walked by in the same manner he did the year before and "accidently" spilled a couple of drinks on him. He went ballistic (roid rage?) and a few moments later confronted us with his friends. So it was 3 meat heads against 4 or 5 women and a couple of gay guys.

At this point the band was packing up and the place was clearing out a bit (but it hadn't closed yet). He and his friends came up to our group and he started yelling at the women who threw drinks at him. I started to try to calm him down and just as I started to speak, he took his (full) beer, threw some at me and my friend and slammed the bottle as hard as he could onto the ground. No rubber floors, it turns out, so the bottle shattered, and pieces of glass flew up, hitting my friends. He then pushed one of my girlfriends and stormed off.

I went to the bouncers (who were actually walking towards us at that point anyway) and told them what he did. Then I walked with the bouncers and found him and escorted him out of the club. At this point we were screaming at each other. His parting shot to me, as he crossed the street to his car was that Mr. Man was cheating on me and making a fool of me and everyone in town knew it but me. As you might of guessed, he had been cheating on M, and making a fool of her, and everyone in town (including her at that point) knew it.

I've never seen him since that night. I think he moved to NY. M and he were actually done for good, but she was pretty much unable to re-integrate herself into that group of friends and we moved to different cities and haven't kept in touch. Our friendship was wrecked by the time that second Spring Bash came along anyway.[/outable]

Happy Friday afternoon.

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I've spent all day on the phone with some Swiss guy who is going to be really fucking rich when I am finished with him.

And now, I am off to the airport to go see my sweetheart.

You all have a lovely weekend, okay?

(kissy kiss)

Is he single?

(the Swiss guy)

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by taxwonk
I don't know you wel enough to say otherewise, so I won't challenge you on this. But if it is true, you are a very rare and unusual being, and I mean in ways other than the ways I already admire you for being rare and unusual.

Yes, but the thing about how she comes from giving blowjobs is still top of the list.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by nononono
Uber-vanilla. Infrequently.

What kind of sex did you want and what frequency?

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by nononono
I wish I had been more open with friends about the doubt or concerns I had. I don't think I let anyone else in on those concerns, and they were not even really fully recognized by me. But to all future brides, some advice: if, before you are married, you're hardly having sex, what sex you are having is really not your style, and you have already had to cut off all conversation about finances and turn them all over to him because your styles were so utterly incompatible, then you need to put the pretty dress back on the hanger and take a breather. Oh, also if he cross-examines you on your spending even though you double his earnings, have paid off his debt and got him into your fabulous rent-stabilized apartment in the poshest neighborhood ever; or if he wants to make you do things, even socialize, exactly the way he does, pay attention and stop.right.there.

Subtle signs like that in a relationship can be tough to spot.

[nononono]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Please elaborate.

TM

etd/a: Nevermind!

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
by ncs

[outable]A long, long time ago (four or five years?), I lived in Dallas and I had a boyfriend (some of you have met him) who played in a band. The band was pretty well known for one big party that they threw every year. Spring Bash. The drummer was a big Dallas scenester and so he would get over a thousand people to turn out for this party, which was held in a larger music venue in town.

I had a friend who we will call M, who was dating the biggest asshole I've ever met in my life. We'll call him Doug That Enormous Dickhead (or D for short). One year they were fighting when Spring Bash occurred and she didn't come (despite the fact that one of her best friends' (me) boyfriend was sponsoring the party) because she heard through her friends circle that D was planning to go. D was not close friends with any of the sponsors of the party, but he was acquaintances with the drummer, so he and his asshole friends decided to show up. It just so happens that a couple of my gay friends decided to go too and they had made their feelings about D clear to M (who had passed that information on to D). D saw my friends there, class act that he was, elbowed one of them as he walked past. More than once that night. The guy he chose to pick on was the smallest of the group. My dear friend Robert, who had been quite sick and weighed less than 140 at the time. D was a gym rat who probably weighed 210 or so.

Bad feelings came out of that experience. Nothing happened...

The next year, Spring Bash, M and D are "broken up" (this happened frequently, but we never knew whether it would stick or not). M goes to Spring Bash, but leaves quickly when she sees D and his asshole friends show up. At this point, D obviously knows that we will be there (what with Mr. Man being in the band). Some of the people I was with were very angry to see him show up. They (wrongly, in my opinion) walked by in the same manner he did the year before and "accidently" spilled a couple of drinks on him. He went ballistic (roid rage?) and a few moments later confronted us with his friends. So it was 3 meat heads against 4 or 5 women and a couple of gay guys.

At this point the band was packing up and the place was clearing out a bit (but it hadn't closed yet). He and his friends came up to our group and he started yelling at the women who threw drinks at him. I started to try to calm him down and just as I started to speak, he took his (full) beer, threw some at me and my friend and slammed the bottle as hard as he could onto the ground. No rubber floors, it turns out, so the bottle shattered, and pieces of glass flew up, hitting my friends. He then pushed one of my girlfriends and stormed off.

I went to the bouncers (who were actually walking towards us at that point anyway) and told them what he did. Then I walked with the bouncers and found him and escorted him out of the club. At this point we were screaming at each other. His parting shot to me, as he crossed the street to his car was that Mr. Man was cheating on me and making a fool of me and everyone in town knew it but me. As you might of guessed, he had been cheating on M, and making a fool of her, and everyone in town (including her at that point) knew it.

I've never seen him since that night. I think he moved to NY. M and he were actually done for good, but she was pretty much unable to re-integrate herself into that group of friends and we moved to different cities and haven't kept in touch. Our friendship was wrecked by the time that second Spring Bash came along anyway.[/outable]

Happy Friday afternoon.

He sounds gay and angry about it.

TM

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
by ncs

[outable]A long, long story [/outable]

Happy Friday afternoon.

1. I now know who you are. But I will keep it confidential.

2. Is there a graphic with a flow chart you could post setting out the various parties and their relationship? I got lost.

3. I got lost and had to abort my reading about 1/3 of the way in.....did I miss any graphic sex stuff?

Thanks and Happy Friday to you......if you should happen to see Fringey, please let her know I send my regards and had the yogurt/grapenuts/soy milk thing for breakfast again today.

Penske

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
Yes, but the thing about how she comes from giving blowjobs is still top of the list.

BOC.