Merry Generic Winter Day-Off With No Religious Content

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
In the same way I care to know now that when I'm buried, someone won't come to the graveyard, dig me up, and toss me in a river. Or paint nasty comments on my headstone. And so forth.

I am totally fine if this someday happens, just so long as I completely believe when I die that it's not going to happen.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Unmarried 20 year old Israeli soldier killed by Palestinians. Parents request that at autopsy, dead son's sperm is saved and preserved for future use. Sperm saved.

Mother puts out the word through the newspapers that she's looking for someone to be inseminated by her dead son's sperm. She gets over 200 responses.

Parents fight in court for four years to be allowed access to the sperm. Israeli law apparently only let spouses recover the sperm of the deceased. Parents say son always wanted to be a father and this is consistant with what he would have wanted. Parents win.

Now, a 35 year old unmarried economist is getting ready to be impregnated by the sperm of a dead man she never knew.

Questions: Doesn't this sound like a recipe for disaster for the poor kid? A grandmother obessed with dead father, national media attention on the kid before even in vitro, much less in vivo, single parent household (with, of course, an inlaw from hell).

Isn't this less about honoring the dead kid's wishes than his mom's inability to let him go? He can't be a father. He's dead.

Would you even consider doing something like this? Sure, I have the "if i'm not with child by X age, I'm getting a bottle of Scotch and seducing one of my gay friends" contingency plan, but at least the putative father would be alive. Hell, even going to a sperm bank for some unknown jackass's spunk would be preferable to having my kid be the living memorial to some other woman's kid. No matter what perks and free babysitting came with the gig.

Guys: would you want your sperm to live on without you and go to some chick you've never met?

Garp! Garp!

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Would you even consider doing something like this?

she at least has some idea of what the father looked like, and how he lived. sperm banks are anon, aren't they? it seems to me like this is a safer bet. If i were the mommy I'd knock up 10 or so with Jr. though.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
I am totally fine if this someday happens, just so long as I completely believe when I die that it's not going to happen.

2. Why the fuck would I care if somebody wants to dig up Burger's bones? Skull fuck him, for all I care.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Which brings me to another question. When I die, I would like to be buried (rather than cremated), but there's no way in hell I want to be embalmed. Is this possible? I just want to go straight into the ground.

It's just to preserve freshness. So, not really. Just don't die in the south.

[Adder]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Guys: would you want your sperm to live on without you and go to some chick you've never met?

Not really. Of course, I would be dead and probably not care at all then. But I definitely find the whole situation you described to be creepy.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Which brings me to another question. When I die, I would like to be buried (rather than cremated), but there's no way in hell I want to be embalmed. Is this possible? I just want to go straight into the ground.

There is apparently something of a movement toward "natural burial." I know I saw an article about it somewhere recently, but I can't remember where. Hepful, I know.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Sorry Flinty -- I'm not planning to impregnate a male baboon, no matter how persuasive Burger gets.

From what I hear, it's not from your lack of trying.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
There is apparently something of a movement toward "natural burial." I know I saw an article about it somewhere recently, but I can't remember where. Hepful, I know.

Someone once sent me a link to them when I mentioned that my dad wants Tom Petty's "Breakdown" playing at the funeral.

The good news for gwinky is they're in canada too.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
From what I hear, it's not from your lack of trying.

You flatter yourself.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
It's just to preserve freshness.

Embalming: The underarm deodorant for the afterlife.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by ironweed
This reminds me, anyone else watching Extras this season? It's just getting better and better.

Of course. I haven't watched last night's episode yet, but the "Little fat man" song by Bowie was worth whatever I pay for HBO.

TM

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
It's just to preserve freshness.

The good news is that I always feel fresh. I imagine this will continue post-mortem.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Should the Barbaro sock and the Dead Horse's Shit Shoveler's sock combine now?

No.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Someone once sent me a link to them when I mentioned that my dad wants Tom Petty's "Breakdown" playing at the funeral.

The good news for gwinky is they're in canada too.

didn't any of you people watch 6 Feet Under?