Fashion Board 1-08-04 through 02-03-04

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
the whole argyle thing never even occurred to me.

this surprises me, because you have your finger on the pulse of that whole plaid-pheromone-trigger phenomenon.

(don't mix your plaid with argyle though. The synergy would be too electrifying. too irresistable. I don't think we'll see Wesley Clark mixing plaid with argyle. mark my words)

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Probably wise.

Because it isn't necessary to completely cut yourself off from your past just because you're now with someone else. Because if you are quite sure that it will be harmless, but won't be perceived as harmless, there is no point in giving yourself the headache. Because if you're actually friends with the ex, they deserve more than to be completely cut off. And yez, no SO deserves to be lied to, but if nothing is going to happen, they don't need to be told.

TM

the problem, thurgreed , is that if yoru SO perceives it wont be harmless, either she has reason to suspect you might cheat, or she is paranoid. either way, there is a trust problem and your relationship is unhealthy and possibly doomed without counseling or something.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by bilmore
I think the essential disagreement between camps here is, you shouldn't be making that choice for her. The burden is on you to convince her that nothing is going to happen. Coincidently, that's a lot easier to do before you ever get caught the first time lying about an innocent meet.

All true. You have no argument from me. In a perfect world, no one lies to their perfect spouse about anything, because everything is always perfect.

But most people don't live in Utopia. And although all of the perfect women and men on this board seem to think that they would be 100% okay with a spouse having a few drinks with an ex, I think it's safe to say that I'm mainly correct that this is bullshit. They may think it's true, but when it actually happens, shit changes. The ones who would have no problem with it in hypoland suddenly have a problem with it and bring it up all the time in the real world. And while it isn't something that would ruin a relationship, it's easier on both people to not have to deal with it.

And the whole, if she finds out, she will completely lose trust thing is crazy too. If it really was innocent and you really did not tell her because you didn't want her to worry about it (or to avoid what I laid out above), she will most likely see this and you won't lose all that trust. She may think you used poor judgment, but if you had a really good relationship up until that point, I don't see how this would completely destroy it.

(And all those "perfects" don't mean that I'm mad, I'm just trying to make a point.)

TM

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I can't imagine that you will ever find a guy who will be able to understand what is right as you see it in that cracked head of yours.

TM

Do you not undersatnd the difference between me being ok with a guy hanging with an ex and a guy wanting all of his exes to be best buddies and hang with him like some dysfunctional harem?

[leagleaze]

The comment about the chick in yellow reminded me. I went to this thing for Clark the other day, wanted to get a sense of where he stands on some issues, and it was basically the people here in the Burg who are trying to drum up support for him.

What a wacky group of people they were. Most of them were pretty old. Apparently one of the leaders got "The General" to sign some books. He was trying to get people to put in 25 bucks a person to raffle it off. And some people go so excited at the thought of owning the book it was, well I don't know what it was, kinda freaky I think.

And there was this other guy who wanted us to make some buttons to help out in NH, cool enough right? But he is going on and on about make 1000 buttons by hand, not having thought to check into whether he could get someone locally to do it for him at a reasonable rate.

Does he not have a job or what?

I went to a thing for Dean early in his campaign. And there was yet another person who didn't have a job, or anything better to do then be obsessed about Dean.

Every time I go to something to meet the people involved in the election of a particular candidate, I regret it.

I REALLY wish I could be Republican. Democrats are friggin weird around here. Could be because they are so rare. The Republicans have nice parties, there's wine and cheese and people dress nicely. The Democrats, not so much. Except for when the gay community was trying to help Rendell get elected. Those parties were fabulous.


So anyway, I've rambled on so long that I should start a poll.

What was your weirdest encounter in relation to an election?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by leagleaze
It is easier to say you want to meet with an ex and nothing is going on, so no worries, before you meet with the ex.

Great. That clears it up. I wish you had posted this earlier.

It is easier to say something beforehand than having to explain afterwards. But it is even easier to say nothing at all and never deal with it again. And if it is truly innocent and nothing happens, why do all of you have such a problem with it?

TM

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
At least the goateed guy on the left knows his tools.

Now, I'm as cynical about politicians as the next guy, but that's a little unfair.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
this surprises me, because you have your finger on the pulse of that whole plaid-pheromone-trigger phenomenon.

This is a good point. I feel that, by embracing plaid, I was dancing in the penumbra of womanly acceptance, when I should have plunged right into the heart of the white hot sun of the source of women's desire: Argyle.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Great. That clears it up. I wish you had posted this earlier.

It is easier to say something beforehand than having to explain afterwards. But it is even easier to say nothing at all and never deal with it again. And if it is truly innocent and nothing happens, why do all of you have such a problem with it?

TM

I have a problem with it for two reasons -- (1) your scenario involved you actively doing things to cover up the meeting - I don't understand why lying about it to the SO would be the right thing to do, and (2) even if you went with the "it didn't come up" thing, meeting with an ex is the type of thing that a SO would probably want to know about, so if you are not actively lying, you are still keeping information that is relevant to your SO from him/her.

Really to me it is about honest communication and building trust. You think there's no problem as long as you don't get caught. I think there is a fundamental problem with the communication in the relationship.

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
This is a good point. I feel that, by embracing plaid, I was dancing in the penumbra of womanly acceptance, when I should have plunged right into the heart of the white hot sun of the source of women's desire: Argyle.

And PFlow, don't forget that nothing says Aloha toa woman like a good Hawaiian print. Well, you knew that.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by baltassoc
a good rule of thumb was that once the dumped dated someone else (even once), all was clear.

Wrong. It's a know it when you see it standard.

It depends on their relationship and how deep it got. If you went on a few dates, she's fair game after a few months. If they were living together, it's never okay.

TM

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
It seems to have gotten him Madonna's vote. Her endorsement letter is on her website (http://www.madonna.com/ - in the News section).

I was surprised that she's held onto this whole US citizen thing. I could have sworn she was a Brit. I'm not surprised she loves the argyles. Who can resist them?

Madonna is a New Yorker. I think she's from Lawn Guyland somewhere.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by taxwonk
Madonna is a New Yorker. I think she's from Lawn Guyland somewhere.

I thought she was from Michigan. Or maybe I am missing some subtext here.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by leagleaze

What was your weirdest encounter in relation to an election?

Fundraiser courting the feminist vote. Unattractive campaign manager leers at my rack all evening in plain sight of his wife then slips me his phone number, which I naturally toss in disgust.

Needless to say, both attempts unsuccessful.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I thought she was from Michigan. Or maybe I am missing some subtext here.

born in Michigan, got famous in NYC (not Long Island) now living in the UK