It's all about me

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I will never allow a beautiful woman who I barely know perform no-strings-attached fellatio on me, no matter how much she begs and rubs herself against me.

The feeling afterward is so . . . empty.

Well, not right afterward--that feeling is great. But the feeling a little bit after that is so . . . empty.

Unless she does it again, in which case you are back to great again. For a little while.

But then, a bit later, the emptiness is even . . . emptier.

Live and learn.

Agreed. I always feel as if someone has sucked the juice right out of me.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I will never allow a beautiful woman who I barely know perform no-strings-attached fellatio on me, no matter how much she begs and rubs herself against me.

The feeling afterward is so . . . empty.

Well, not right afterward--that feeling is great. But the feeling a little bit after that is so . . . empty.

Unless she does it again, in which case you are back to great again. For a little while.

But then, a bit later, the emptiness is even . . . emptier.

Live and learn.

Gee, we should all get together again here 5 years from today and see how many of us have been able to keep these resolutions.

And find out if Gwinky's still enjoying, well, what she enjoys...

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Gee, we should all get together again here 5 years from today and see how many of us have been able to keep these resolutions.

And find out if Gwinky's still enjoying, well, what she enjoys...

Five years? Heh. Five days is more like it.

I really mean it about the alcohol thing. This time.

If Shapeshifter and Slave were able to concieve a child after one of their mansessions, would be it named Shaveshafter?

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I'm not answering yes or no to your question, but it's true that I had a deep-seated hatred toward Brett Hull.

I'm putting a 5 spot on one of the "-chucks."

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Five years? Heh. Five days is more like it.

I really mean it about the alcohol thing. This time.

Boy, you'll never leave the Diner, will you?

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I will never read a post this long again.

It was hard to come up with things that weren't subsumed by that whole marriage vow thing. But putting that aside...

Never again will I date a woman named/nicknamed Kat/Cat. Kates, Katies, Katherines may be okay, but no Kats. You shouldn't either.

Never again will I get stupendously stoned and then eat a five day old take-out container full of Beef and Broccolli - food poisoning with your head spinning is bad, bad, bad. Actually, since that incident, I've not had either pot nor Beef and Broccolli, either separate or together.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Not Bob
I'm putting a 5 spot on one of the "-chucks."

I'm going with this one:

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
I'm going with this one:

Wow.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
I'm going with this one:

Jason Arnott

Well you'd lose, but thanks for the vote of confidence that I could land that sexy hunk of man-meat. Swoon.

[Gattigap]

During my commute, I sometimes choose a route that takes me past a cybercafe. What's interesting about it is that it's a combination Cybercafe/copier service/hookah bar.

The thought of a little hookah with my surfing should be enough enticement to bring me in the door, I suppose, but the proprietor apparently thinks I need more. Therefore, he also graces me on the side of his building with photographs of the many beautiful women who are surely to be found on the inside.

I'm to believe, it appears, that women who surf on the 'Net (and in particular, women who do so at a place as cool as this cybercafe/hookah bar) typically have long hair, DDs, an hourglass figure that would make TM drool, a wardrobe tending toward the 3am dance club even though used sitting at a computer under unforgiving lights, and a happiness to pause for a "candid photo" during one's computer session with an arched back and a million-dollar smile.

FBetties, when I drive by this on the way to work, I think of you.

Well, some of you.

That is all.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by mmm3587
I guess that I am the reigning monarch of nerds, if by "reigning monarch of nerds" you mean "someone who doesn't want to waste a lot of time doing stupid shit when those things can be done far more efficiently."

Let's be real here, we're all lawyers. We all have far better shit that we could be doing, and we're all doing this because it is a career. That doesn't mean that I don't like it, that doesn't mean that this is a pretty good, enjoyable career that I'm not too ashamed to call my own, but I probably wouldn't be doing it if I were, say, Alexandra Kerry. I would be wearing nipple-revealing dresses and relaxing on the beach.

You're not a fucking model or a, to use a concept you may understand, hockey star. You are a lawyer, an advisor, a maintainer of information. Your job is to understand, keep track of and use to the benefits of your clients significant amounts of information and precedent. So don't give me this "You're a dork!" shit. You must be one of those people who can never find phone numbers, has no idea where her files are, can never figure out how to check her e-mail remotely, or whatever. That's fine with me. If that works for you, so be it. It works more often for female lawyers than it does for male ones, but I don't think it's ever appropriate to play the "I just can't figure that out" card with clients who are paying you a fiver a minute or more to do exactly that, figure it out.

I'm always trying to find a better way to do things. Part of being a good lawyer is being a perfectionist. Not being anal about things that don't matter or being insufferable about the little mistakes that we all make, but recognizing how to develop and exploit efficiencies in the work that we do.

So, bitch, please. I work in a competitive environment with a lot of backstabbing pricks. I'm not like that; the worst fate I can possibly imagine is scratching eyes out to make partner and then realizing the truth of that "more pie" quote. I will be damned if I work as hard as a 40 year old as I do as a 30 year old. But I sure as hell don't want to have to work harder than (those of my colleagues who are) my prickish colleagues to do the same amount of work they're doing, because I share my secrets with them, but they fuck me over. I work at a big firm and always have. There are plenty of light-turner-outers here, and I'm sick of being a nice guy to the TMs of the world. Fuck 'em, let 'em figure out for themselves all the shit that makes me a smarter, better and more successful lawyer than they are. I'll share techniques, tricks and drinks with friends, but the enemies only get drinks.

Rant over. Get me a white mocha, bitch!

You have to be the biggest dumbass ever to come to these boards. You are worse than little timmy. If you're so efficient, how come it took you roughly 10,000 words to say absolutely nothing?

This is what you sound like:

I am the best and most efficient. I can log in remotely and I know where all my phone numbers are. I will not share the secrets I have discovered all by myself at how to be the absolute best lawyer that I can be because of all of the backstabbers who...HEY! WHAT THE FUCK? WHO GAVE THAT BLACK GUY A MENTOR? HOW COME I CAN'T HAVE ONE? AND JUST A GOD DAMNED MINUTE! HOW COME THAT WOMAN CAN GET AWAY WITH NOT KNOWING EXACTLY WHERE HER PHONE NUMBERS ARE JUST BECAUSE SHE'S CUTE? SON OF A BITCH! I WANT I WANT I WANT! UNFAIR UNFAIR UNFAIR! CAN'T YOU SEE HOW GOOD I AM? ME ME ME! What's that? Turn out the light on my way out? Yes, sir.

What a fucking loser.

TM

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Well you'd lose, but thanks for the vote of confidence that I could land that sexy hunk of man-meat. Swoon.

To quote dtb, hamana hamana. Or is it humana-humana. No, that can't be right. Manamana?

And bonus, his teeth would perfectly illuminate the bedroom (or whatever the venue). No candles, no fire hazard.

[Gattigap]

I really wanted to find the photos from the hookah bar, but the proprietor apparently doesn't see the wisdom of replicating online what he is happy to share with thousands of commuters each day.

I could not quickly find equivalent pictures, not even by perusing through my old client files for Penske. A Google search was similarly unilluminating, but it did reveal this:



Inexplicably, this is art that's intended to persuade you to attend continuing education courses in computers at the extension of some university in Indiana.


Jesus, this is an invitation? Feels more like a threat. "Come type into my komputer, you meeserable leetle svine, and upon your first error I will lash you!"

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
WHO GAVE THAT BLACK GUY A MENTOR?

Speaking of which, here's a pic I took of TM and his mentor during their firm weekend last year -- they held it at the dude ranch just a few miles from Podunkville: