Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants - Page 75

Tyrone Slothrop · 04-07-2005, 05:21 PM

Speaking of men with vibrators:

"He said 'If you tell her I will kick your ass!' I started laughing so hard I could hardly see straight. He said 'I'm serious I'll kick your ass!' I told him that he was insane if he thought I WASN'T going to tell EVERYONE I could find, including random people on the street."

Clearly I don't stretch enough.

(spree: first page is work-safe, but maybe not the line drawings)

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 04-07-2005, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
For those of you that are apartment-dwellers, do you put on a show for your neighbours or do you lower your blinds?

Always put on a show...but it's not premeditated. Just happens.

notcasesensitive · 04-07-2005, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Your husband was more than uptight... he was gay. How can any man complain about his wife walking around nude? I actually like the idea that people might see my wife naked. I've been to nude beaches with my wife and actually like the idea of watching her walk around naked in front of people. Sadly, if you've been to a nude beach, this usually means she's being watched by a pack of diguisting 55ish men with shaved pubes and a few balding guys with half mullets stroking themselves.

I do not like walking around nude in front of people. I was accosted for doing so years ago by some irate mother of some chick who was throwing an impromptu pool party. There I was, half blacked out on some whiskey I'd pilfered from my parents, searching for my shorts, and this fat Italian woman was screaming at us, "I'm calling the cops. I'm calling the goddamned cops!" Why couldn't we have been caught by a frustrated MILF who proceded to laugh and invite me inside for a little Mrs. Robinson action? Nooo, that doesn't happen in my world... or anyone else's. I just ran to the car, chased by some fat old moustached woman. It wasn't until we got about 15 minutes away that I realized I was wearing someone else's shorts.

This reminds me. The new Eclipse gum favor "Cherry Chill" tastes like cough syrup. I sorta liked cough syrup until I tasted this gum.

Shape Shifter · 04-07-2005, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Speaking of men with vibrators:

"He said 'If you tell her I will kick your ass!' I started laughing so hard I could hardly see straight. He said 'I'm serious I'll kick your ass!' I told him that he was insane if he thought I WASN'T going to tell EVERYONE I could find, including random people on the street."

Clearly I don't stretch enough.

(spree: first page is work-safe, but maybe not the line drawings)

I wonder if O'Reilly can do that too?

greatwhitenorthchick · 04-07-2005, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Your husband was more than uptight... he was gay.

Don't be an ass.

spookyfish · 04-07-2005, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
How can any man complain about his wife walking around nude?

There's good naked and there's bad naked.

Yoga; BAD NAKED.

I mean what's next? Should I start cutting my grass naked? Do I go to naked dance classes before my wedding? How about naked bowling, there's some bad naked for 'ya. Naked bocce or naked lawn darts OUCH! Keep your clothes on and get into that lotus position. On the otherhand the naked yoga could be good for people at home. Hmmm. Your never going to see me doing anything athletic naked. I guess that's what I'm getting at.

ltl/fb · 04-07-2005, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I wonder if O'Reilly can do that too?

I did not look at the line drawings, but both of the guys in questions sound like jerks. A MACHETE? I don't care if he has it "on hand" all the time for some dumbass reason, why is he threatening the current bf w/o even having talked to the ex-gf? JEEEEESUS.

That said, I want none of that going on without my knowledge/permission. Especially the normally non-anal toy going anally. You can get infections from that kind of thing if you don't know to clean very very carefully.

ltl/fb · 04-07-2005, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Don't be an ass.

Sun, please don't shine. Wind, don't blow. Water, don't be wet.

Spooky, SD just wants his WIFE to be naked all the time. Not himself. He doesn't like to be naked.

Shape Shifter · 04-07-2005, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by spookyfish
There's good naked and there's bad naked.

Yoga; BAD NAKED.

I mean what's next? Should I start cutting my grass naked? Do I go to naked dance classes before my wedding? How about naked bowling, there's some bad naked for 'ya. Naked bocce or naked lawn darts OUCH! Keep your clothes on and get into that lotus position. On the otherhand the naked yoga could be good for people at home. Hmmm. Your never going to see me doing anything athletic naked. I guess that's what I'm getting at.

You need proper foot attire for lawn mowing and bowling. I'd bowl wearing only bowling shoes. Lawnmowers kick up a lot of dust. I'd rather be clothed.

Tyrone Slothrop · 04-07-2005, 05:39 PM

New avatar for someone.

sebastian_dangerfield · 04-07-2005, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Always put on a show...but it's not premeditated. Just happens.

I have a friend who realized he was being watched jacking off by two chicks in the building next to his. He didn't stop - he finished for them. Not a terrifically attractive fellow, either.

The worst is seeing a relative naked. I saw my aunt once by accident. I didn't think much of it, but she was clearly freaked. Its a terrible thing. Really awkward.

sebastian_dangerfield · 04-07-2005, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by spookyfish
There's good naked and there's bad naked.

Yoga; BAD NAKED.

Do people do that in groups? Fuckin nauseating.

"OK, everyone, lets move into downward dog." Its like begging everyone to examine each others' ass forests.

"Hey, Janet, I knew you weren't really blonde."

"Actually, I'm just a temporary dirty blonde... had burritos and plums for lunch..."

Sparklehorse · 04-07-2005, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
New avatar for someone.

Is it pathetic or cool that I know this? That's from the video to Move Your Feet by Junior Senior. If memory serves, PLF declared this a cool song in the summer of 2003. Pisco Sours, anyone?

Hank Chinaski · 04-07-2005, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I have a friend who realized he was being watched jacking off by two chicks in the building next to his. He didn't stop - he finished for them. Not a terrifically attractive fellow, either.

The worst is seeing a relative naked. I saw my aunt once by accident. I didn't think much of it, but she was clearly freaked. Its a terrible thing. Really awkward.

Got big tits?

sebastian_dangerfield · 04-07-2005, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Sun, please don't shine. Wind, don't blow. Water, don't be wet.

Spooky, SD just wants his WIFE to be naked all the time. Not himself. He doesn't like to be naked.

Its never good to be naked when you're a guy. Shits always getting in the way. I had to run downstairs to put laundry in the dryer naked yesterday. Your dick flips back and forth the whole time... annoying. I don't know how the hell anyone could run around with huge breasts. Or be really really heavy. I mean, doesn't all that giggling cause balance problems, sort of like a SUV on a sharp turn. Do really heavy people have trouble slowing down the same way big trucks have trouble braking? It seems to me that once girth begins rolling in one direction, its difficult, if not impossible, to pivot or plant quickly and successful change direction. I could foresee an out of control fatty jogging smack into a wall, or toppling on a hairpin turn - sort of like a UHaal van.