Missing the Paigow (et al.) [sniff]

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
I think you forgot a principal reason why relationships born from affairs have troubles: When at least one party has demonstrated the capacity to lie and cheat (by having an affair), it has an effect on trust in the new relationship. I would think this would be more severe with the breaking of marital vows but I'm not sure.

My best friend's current marriage is the product of an affair. They were both married before and have children from their respective first marriages. Her husband is currently engaged in one of the world's ugliest custody battles with his ex-wife. ALL the dirty laundry is being laid out in legal documents. We haven't discussed this recently, but a few months ago, she mentioned (very casually) that she thinks her husband is having an affair. It's like it's to be expected under the circumstances.

oh, for the record, the trust issue stuff was part of the "baggage" that was in my first reason for potential problems.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Re my reform, I see no reason that one cannot responsibly enjoy substances while having a productive life. I get to work, I get the job done... they even promote me and other people occasionally offer me jobs elsewhere. I behave utterly normally and am able to separate my extra curricular hobbies from my work and sensible management of my personal life. So what "reform" do I - or the millions like me (90% of the people here) - need? I find people who modify their behavior and give up the fun things in life just because "now I am a responsible [parent, married person, professional, etc...] silly. Why? Are you too fucking stupid to be able manage getting yer ya yas out while at the same time paying the mortgage and making sure the kids are breathing?

Shit, Hank even keeps it all together!

Preaching to the [never been in the] choir, man. But you probably knew that.

[dtb]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Here's a question for our crack lawtalkers community:

I was talking with a friend about success rates for relationships that start out as affairs (assuming the person in the marriage/committed relationship ultimately chooses the new relationship, as opposed to the pre-existing one). I had heard, though I don't know where, that the long-term success rate* for those relationships is lower than the long-term success rate for relationships that start when neither party is in a committed relationship. My friend disagreed.

The reasons I had heard for the lowered success rate ranged from - (i) baggage brought into the relationship by the time both parties are free to commit to the new relationship, (ii) desire for joys of singlehood once out of long-term committed relationship that was broken up, (iii) people placing too much value on new relationship (and person in it), as opposed to facing the other problems with the existing relationship, and (iv) the excitement of the illicit relationship doesn't translate into daily life once it is no longer illicit.

Anyone know the answer to this or have anecdotal evidence they want to share?

I was going to post this as a RoTAF because my current relationship would qualify as one in which one or both parties were in committed relationships when the relationship started, but then I realized that I don't really care if you people know that. So there.

And, for the record, I tend to consider my relationship a success. Hopefully a long-term success. Whatever that means.




*whatever "long-term success rate" means (I'm really not sure of this, but I guess for my questions, I'll say that means the new relationship lasts 5 years or more)

Anectodal evidence:

Of the people I know who got divorced where someone was involved in a "new" relationship at the time of divorce:

brother - new relationship lasted 9 years
friend - her ex-husband married his paramour and are still married
friend's father - married his paramour - still married 15 years later
friend -- married his paramour - still married 14 years later
friend - involved in new relationship (but not married) 4 years now

In fact, I can't think of a divorced couple I know where one party was involved in a new relationship where the party invovled with another person didn't end up in the new relationship for quite some time. I know people who got divorced and there was no "other" relationship at the time of divorce, but for those where there was another person involved, the new person remained in the picture.

Of course, one's circle of acquaintance is never a reliable scientific sample, but that's my anectodal experience.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
We have established that the correct term is uber-smug divorcee. It flows off the tongue better.

It flows less well than über-smug divorcée.

[edited to correct dictation. you can't get good help these days.]

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
It flows less well that über-smug divorcée.

You are the king of umlauts and accents egoue (sp?).

Can you do accents grave as well? How about circumflexes and cedilles? That would be totally hot.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by dtb
Of course, one's circle of acquaintance is never a reliable scientific sample, but that's my anectodal experience.

This sentence should be the disclaimer for each one of Sebby's posts.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
You are the king of umlauts and accents egoue (sp?).

Can you do accents grave as well? How about circumflexes and cedilles? That would be totally hot.

Mais bien sûr.

Ça va?

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Mais bien sûr.

Ça va?

Dude, you're totally going to get laid.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Dude, you're totally going to get laid.

When you were a kid, for entertainment at your birthday parties, did your dad ever knock over pop bottles with his dick?

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Dude, you're totally going to get laid.

I'd do him. I'd just close my eyes and pretend he was Mlle. Desmarais, my smokin hot 6th grade french immersion teacher.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Mais bien sûr.

Ça va?

Fantastique! Ausgezeichnet!

[Replaced_Texan]

Holy shit! Squirrel pack devours dog in Russia.

A "big" stray dog was nosing about the trees and barking at squirrels hiding in branches overhead when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked, reports say.

"They literally gutted the dog," local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper.

"When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking pieces of their kill away with them."

Motherfucker looks evil, doesn't he?


The Puppy (yeah, I know, she's two, but if you met her, you'd think of her as a puppy too) feels it is her sacred duty to protect my yard from squirrels. I may have to show her this article and persuade her that perhaps her vigilance isn't necessary. On the upside, it looks like there are plenty of pecans to eat (and bury in my flowerpots), so she may be safe this year.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan



Motherfucker looks evil, doesn't he?

But this one looks sweet and cuddly, right?

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
But this one looks sweet and cuddly, right?

Racist fucks, both of you.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Racist fucks, both of you.

I think this is why I am not an animal lover. No matter what, all animals seem like rats or mice to me. Squirrels, for example, are just rats with bushy tails. I don't want to cuddle with rats.