A frolic in Cambodia

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
I wasn't allowed to have toy guns. In fact, my mother mandated that others' toy guns were not allowed inside the house: we had a "toy gun guarantine area" on the front porch.

You and me both, bruddah. I couldn't even point sticks at people and go, "bang." [There's a set up for a joke if I ever saw one.]

My mother was very strict about how we were to react when receiving gifts from other people. Whether we liked them or not, we would appear appreciative and happy to receive them (even the socks from that old lady who lived upstairs, if you could believe that!). And we never returned gifts. Ever.

I thought I was slick once and had my friend buy (with mostly my money) me Laser Tag for Christmas. He bought a set too and we played for a good hour before my mom got home from work, secure in the fact that my mother would solve this dilemma in favor of me keeping the gift and not disappointing my friend who had been so thoughtful. Yeah. Uh...no. Another one of his friends got it and I was out the $39.99 (or whatever). Fucking humbug.

TM

[dtb]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
A little strange, maybe and a little outable, but dtb, the Happy Family was the black version of the Sunshine Family. Same sofas made out of milk cartons and baby cribs made out of tomato baskets, etc.

I am not black, but I got the Happy Family (whose mom looked a bit like Melissa Sue Anderson) because all of my girlfriends in the neighborhood had the Sunshine Family, and I thought it strange that all of the families in the neighborhood should look alike, so I asked for the Happy Family for Christmas, instead.

Ha! This reminds me -- one year, I asked for the Barbie-like "bust" (a giant head on a tray) whose hair you could arrange and you could put makeup on her. Well, I got one, but I got the black one -- which wasn't as good, because you couldn't see the makeup on her.

Whatever issues my mother had with Barbie didn't preclude my getting the only the head on a tray. Hmmmm. Perhaps this is a clue...

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
You and me both, bruddah. I couldn't even point sticks at people and go, "bang." [There's a set up for a joke if I ever saw one.]

My mother was very strict about how we were to react when receiving gifts from other people. Whether we liked them or not, we would appear appreciative and happy to receive them (even the socks from that old lady who lived upstairs, if you could believe that!). And we never returned gifts. Ever.

I thought I was slick once and had my friend buy (with mostly my money) me Laser Tag for Christmas. He bought a set too and we played for a good hour before my mom got home from work, secure in the fact that my mother would solve this dilemma in favor of me keeping the gift and not disappointing my friend who had been so thoughtful. Yeah. Uh...no. Another one of his friends got it and I was out the $39.99 (or whatever). Fucking humbug.

TM

I'm just curious about something. Was it just guns and gun-like objects or were other things, like plastic army men and stuff like that also forbidden?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
I wasn't allowed to have toy guns. In fact, my mother mandated that others' toy guns were not allowed inside the house: we had a "toy gun guarantine area" on the front porch.

At about 4 my son's favorite toy was a Star Wars ray gun. It was clearly a ray gun. So we're going to Disney World for a week and throwing stuff together at the last minute, and I give him a carry on bag to pack toys for the week "It's up to you what you bring, pack toys for 7 days."

I didn't check what he packed carry on, and dropped the checked stuff at the curb (this was pre 9/11).

going through security, the bag belt stops, and the guy calls over his supervisor, right away I know the fuck up.

"Sir, do you have a gun in there?"

"Toy gun- obviously a ray gun, take a look"

"you'll have to put it in your checked luggage." No time.

At the time explaining how this man was going to take and keep his ray gun was about the hardest thing I ever had to tell my kid. He was crying big time. Luckily the sold the same gun at Disney at we put it in checked on the way home.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by dtb
Ha! This reminds me -- one year, I asked for the Barbie-like "bust" (a giant head on a tray) whose hair you could arrange and you could put makeup on her. Well, I got one, but I got the black one -- which wasn't as good, because you couldn't see the makeup on her.

Well, at least you can inflict the same suffering on your son in the deuce double O fo'.*



TM

* Hi, hank!

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by spookyfish
I'm just curious about something. Was it just guns and gun-like objects or were other things, like plastic army men and stuff like that also forbidden?

Just guns and gun substitutes. PM me if you want to really know why.

TM

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by spookyfish
I'm just curious about something. Was it just guns and gun-like objects or were other things, like plastic army men and stuff like that also forbidden?

Strangely, toy guns and real pellet guns (we used to shoot (targets, not animals)) were freely permitted at our house. My mother didn't like toy guns (she was fine with the pellet guns so long as they were only opened when we were actually shooting at a target on a range), but if we got them as a gift we could keep them, and we played guns - cops and robbers, and army games - all the time with the other kids in the neighborhood. It seemed totally normal and fun to me at the time - now it seems kind of scary.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Just guns and gun substitutes. PM me if you want to really know why.

Oh come on. It's because your mama was getting sick of all the sailors on shore leave telling her "this is my weapon, this is my gun. Now suck it."

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by spookyfish
Somebody needs to be hit with a brick this morning.

Oh Brick, how long does this have to go on? This punishment? Haven't I served my term? Can't I apply for a pardon?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Oh come on. It's because your mama was getting sick of all the sailors on shore leave telling her "this is my weapon, this is my gun. Now suck it."

Wrong. I invented "suck it."

TM

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by dtb
The answer is none.

Thanks - if you didn't, I was gonna have to say it.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Strangely, toy guns and real pellet guns (we used to shoot (targets, not animals)) were freely permitted at our house. My mother didn't like toy guns (she was fine with the pellet guns so long as they were only opened when we were actually shooting at a target on a range), but if we got them as a gift we could keep them, and we played guns - cops and robbers, and army games - all the time with the other kids in the neighborhood. It seemed totally normal and fun to me at the time - now it seems kind of scary.

We also had no such restrictions. Then again, we used to go out into the woods and fire bottle-rockets at one another, too. It's a wonder no one ever lost an eye, although my cousin does have a pellet stuck in his leg. I had nothing to do with that, though -- I swear.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Wrong. I invented "suck it."

TM

You really shouldn't speak like that to your mother.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I believe our mothers went to the same parenting schools. I was, however, allowed to have Sindi dolls, which was the British Barbie equivalent (not the non-union Mexican equivalent). Anyway, Sindi was sent by a sympathetic auntie who thought my parents were a little overboard.

We were also not allowed to watch Hogan's Heroes. But we did anyway. My mother also had a problem with Eight is Enough. But I think that is just because she's insane.

We weren't allowed to have sugared cereals. Several aisles of the grocery store was off limits (candy, cereal, Cokes). She was into celery and raisins. No problems with wonderbread.

She gave up on a lot of fights when she got outnumbered. I think she would have stood her ground had it just been me. Until my siblings showed up and started whining (which, coincidently, was around the time that I went to school and learned about all of the things that the other kids had), I didn't have Barbies or watch anything on TV other than PBS (and, of course, the football channel).

[ilikenewsocks]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
I really thought the "It's all about the O" ads did just that.

Then i learned it was just overstock.com. It's really not all about that.

I would like to see the overstock.com woman (i'm drawing a blank on what her name is at the moment) experience the Big O.

I would enjoy a free sample of ED medication (who says you have to have a problem before you ask your doctor?) with the Levitra woman if a demonstration of effectiveness will be permitted.

I probably wouldn't even mind trying to explain to the Yoplait chicks how sitting around with your yogurt really isn't anything special, let alone "sex with a random stranger good", especially since they haven't tried the alternative.

Sincerely,

None of this is going to happen, and I don't buy any of this shit, but at least the commercials are more entertaining this way.