General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by TexLex
That's about right - but I can totally see why people would be interested in it out of desperation, especially if the child was very young (it seems slightly less screwed up that way) or if a parent of the dead child were no longer available or now unable to have kids.

I know how many kids I(we) want and if we lose one (god that's a horrible thought) I still want X many kids, so having another (the old fashioned way) would not replace the first, so much as fill a void in the family.

I'm just going to be more preemptive and have all my kids cloned while they are still alive, and freeze most of them for later.

[bill killer]

Doula: worth it or not?

The prices I'm getting quoted are like $1000-1200. Seems a steep price to pay for assistance from someone who can't actually give me drugs or anything, but I've never done this before (childbirth, not posting) and the studies make hiring a doula seem like a good idea (fewer interventions, etc.).

Given that this board is filled with snarky, left-brained people like me, I'm hoping for more useful answers than are to be found on the standard pregnancy chat boards.

Thanks in advance.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by bill killer
Doula: worth it or not?

The prices I'm getting quoted are like $1000-1200. Seems a steep price to pay for assistance from someone who can't actually give me drugs or anything, but I've never done this before (childbirth, not posting) and the studies make hiring a doula seem like a good idea (fewer interventions, etc.).

Given that this board is filled with snarky, left-brained people like me, I'm hoping for more useful answers than are to be found on the standard pregnancy chat boards.

Thanks in advance.

A sibling who is a midwife came to one of our births, and did this back rub stuff that my wife still claims was better than any drugs she has had during childbirth.

If the doula knows good backrub techniques, cost should not be an issue. I would ask all of them for backrubs in the interview.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
I'm just going to be more preemptive and have all my kids cloned while they are still alive, and freeze most of them for later.

In my hometown there was this strange family- the kids were older than me so I cannot vouch for this story- I just heard it:

The couple has several kids- let's say 3 named Bill, Will and Jill. Terrible fire kills all 3. The couple has 3 more kids and named them Bill, Will and Jill. As a kid we thought it pretty creepy, and I don't feel any better about it now.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
I'm just going to be more preemptive and have all my kids cloned while they are still alive, and freeze most of them for later.

You might want to invest in one of those vacuum-packing machines. They get all freezer-burned and aren't nearly as tender if you just use saran wrap or foil.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
In my hometown there was this strange family- the kids were older than me so I cannot vouch for this story- I just heard it:

The couple has several kids- let's say 3 named Bill, Will and Jill. Terrible fire kills all 3. The couple has 3 more kids and named them Bill, Will and Jill. As a kid we thought it pretty creepy, and I don't feel any better about it now.

I have a friend who was conceived after her older sister died as a toddler. She was convinced that she existed only as a replacement for the beloved lost girl and wasn't valued in her own right. I'm sure this wasn't true, but she wasn't sure, and the extent to which this contributed to her hopeless neurosis and persistent depression can't be measured.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by bill killer
Doula: worth it or not?

The prices I'm getting quoted are like $1000-1200. Seems a steep price to pay for assistance from someone who can't actually give me drugs or anything, but I've never done this before (childbirth, not posting) and the studies make hiring a doula seem like a good idea (fewer interventions, etc.).

Given that this board is filled with snarky, left-brained people like me, I'm hoping for more useful answers than are to be found on the standard pregnancy chat boards.

Thanks in advance.

My friend's wife had a doula and I have no idea what she did, but they both said that the doula was extremely helpful. fwiw.

oh. If you like I can find out what exactly she did that was helpful.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by bill killer
Doula: worth it or not?

The prices I'm getting quoted are like $1000-1200. Seems a steep price to pay for assistance from someone who can't actually give me drugs or anything, but I've never done this before (childbirth, not posting) and the studies make hiring a doula seem like a good idea (fewer interventions, etc.).

Given that this board is filled with snarky, left-brained people like me, I'm hoping for more useful answers than are to be found on the standard pregnancy chat boards.

Thanks in advance.

The dads are supposed to learn how to do all of that stuff themselves in the classes, and it's supposed to be more meaningful, coming, you know, from the guy who got you into this mess in the first place. However, as we all learn, dads suck at the comforting thing during birth, being sort of distracted by the gore and the screaming. Having someone in who knows the stuff professionally is a great asset. The massage and other helpful techniques really do help the mom get through the birth, freeing dad up to do the important fainting and puking.

(Okay, sort of kidding, but yes, the doula is worthwhile. If nothing else, you get someone in there who knows the system, and who is talking to you and keeping you abreast of what's happening - something that doesn't always happen. Don't undervalue the comfort factor.)

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
I'm just going to be more preemptive and have all my kids cloned while they are still alive, and freeze most of them for later.

The bible counsels us that, when considering these choices, many are culled, few are frozen.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by bilmore
The bible counsels us that, when considering these choices, many are culled, few are frozen.

BOTMillennium!

[bilmore]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
BOTMillennium!

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. It's an illness . . .

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by TexLex
That's about right - but I can totally see why people would be interested in it out of desperation, especially if the child was very young (it seems slightly less screwed up that way) or if a parent of the dead child were no longer available or now unable to have kids.

I can't. "I lost my child. I want the same exact fucking one. How much will it cost?" Nope. Don't get it.

Originally posted by TexLex
I know how many kids I(we) want and if we lose one (god that's a horrible thought) I still want X many kids, so having another (the old fashioned way) would not replace the first, so much as fill a void in the family.

This makes perfect sense.

TM

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by bill killer
Doula: worth it or not?

The prices I'm getting quoted are like $1000-1200. Seems a steep price to pay for assistance from someone who can't actually give me drugs or anything, but I've never done this before (childbirth, not posting) and the studies make hiring a doula seem like a good idea (fewer interventions, etc.).

Given that this board is filled with snarky, left-brained people like me, I'm hoping for more useful answers than are to be found on the standard pregnancy chat boards.

Thanks in advance.

We took a birthing class led by a doula, whom we concluded was a total flake. We had no interest in having her anywhere near the delivery. Surely other doulas are less flaky, though.

[bill killer]

Thanks for your help, everyone.

I ran across one who is not only a certified massage therapist, but also not at all flaky (which was my number one concern - anyone breaking out the incense and chanting about the goddess midlabor is asking for a slapping), so I'm leaning towards hiring her.

GWNC - thanks for the offer, but don't go out of your way; I prefer to imagine you and your torso having conversations on sexier topics than labor ...

Re Doulas - I hear very good things about them. Especially if the daddy is not comfortable around hospitals, medical procedures, pain, etc. Had I not been giving birth to a toddler, I might also have looked into a birthing center, but with a 10+lb baby, the risks seemed too high if away from a hospital. I would see if you can get some referrals from people who have used one in your area, from local birthing centers, or at least references from the one you are interested in now - this is one thing you can't do over if you aren't happy with her performance and you won't have anything to compare to along the way.