Drive fast, live hard, no regrets... Sorry Penske

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
How come you didn't also link to this article about how it's okay for some men to be squicked out by watching the mother of their child give birth?

Covering Shape Shifter's ass on the research for board bill

"In Betty Smith's A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, set at the turn of the century, a father is sent off to the bar by the household women so he doesn't have to hear his wife's cries of pain."

But just try leaving your cell phone number with the maternity ward nurse and see the looks you get. And it was ten cent wings too.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
You don't stay around to say thanks?

Are you kidding? I was absolutely traumatized.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I don't care about your rule - I want the "why" on this one.

My recollection is that she had red hair. Beyond that, I really don't remember.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I bet most of these women whose husbands lose interest look like this:

Diet Coke. Keyboard.

Brava.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by dtb
Why would you think I saw it flaccid?




I can understand why. Incorrect spelling is a real turn-off.

Oh, crap. You have ruined my day.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by ironweed
"In Betty Smith's A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, set at the turn of the century, a father is sent off to the bar by the household women so he doesn't have to hear his wife's cries of pain."

But just try leaving your cell phone number with the maternity ward nurse and see the looks you get. And it was ten cent wings too.

I am told that even though it wasn't customary back then, my dad was allowed in the delivery room because he was a physician on staff in that hospital. My mom says during her ungodly number of hours of labor, he'd check in, see how much progress had been made, and leave again to "go see patients." He left instructions with the delivery nurses to page him when it came closer to showtime. I think he was there when I was born, but my memory of the day is a little blurry.

ETA: It may be relevant to this story that when my dad did his ob/gyn rotation in med school, he had a 25% drop rate in the four deliveries he performed. He says newborns are a more slippery than you'd think.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ironweed
"In Betty Smith's A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, set at the turn of the century, a father is sent off to the bar by the household women so he doesn't have to hear his wife's cries of pain."

But just try leaving your cell phone number with the maternity ward nurse and see the looks you get. And it was ten cent wings too.

This is why the maternity ward should be stocked exclusively with male nurses:

"So how far along is she?"

"Look, Mr. Smith, she's pretty dilated. Could be an hour, could be half a day. You got some magazines?"

"I have a video camera. I want to memorialize this..."

"Whoa, whoa there Fellini... Look, the missus has some nice equipment. No doubt about it. But you don't want to see it in action like its going to be soon... You gotta cell #?"

"But I want to see my child being..."

"You remember when LT snapped Theisman's leg?"

"What? Well..."

"Ever seen Faces of Death?"

"What. Are. You. Talking. About!?"

"Look, buddy... Chuck and I got this under control. We'll call you when we see a head coming out. You go get a drink... Now what's that cell #?"

"555-453... Hey, is it safe for you to be writing that on your surgical glove?"

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Let's see...

Sebby wants to soft swing on the internet. PP allegedly told him she did. Sebby is internet boyfriend to both rp and PP. (Which is one of the world's funniest punchlines, if you ask me.)

And SS has a circumsized penis.

Anything else I should be noting?

Yes. It appears all my internet girlfriends have dumped me. I'm a peeved about it all, if the truth be told.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by taxwonk
Yes. It appears all my internet girlfriends have dumped me. I'm a peeved about it all, if the truth be told.

How many internet girlfriends did you have?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Diet Coke. Keyboard.

Brava.

Punch "brava" into google. Are you sure "breast enhancement!" is what you meant to exclaim?

That system looks insanely painful and silly. "Brava works by literally sucking your breasts bigger." What technologist came up with that crap?

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
If God didn't want us to have foreskin, why did He put it there in the first place?

So he could tell the chosen people from the ones who have to earn their way in.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
How many internet girlfriends did you have?

Never more than one or two at a time. It's not like I was a pastrami-flavored slut or anything.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by ironweed
"In Betty Smith's A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, set at the turn of the century, a father is sent off to the bar by the household women so he doesn't have to hear his wife's cries of pain."

But just try leaving your cell phone number with the maternity ward nurse and see the looks you get. And it was ten cent wings too.

Remember what you told wonk a few days back about how he does the jokes 2 days after someone else did it better?

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by taxwonk
So he could tell the chosen people from the ones who have to earn their way in.

I can speak authoritatively only for myself, but I suspect Gwink and dtb will mostly agree that I am mainly correct in saying that everyone has to earn his way in, cut or uncut.

In fact, some of the uncut ones have had an easier time of it, probably because of the accents.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Diet Coke. Keyboard.

Brava.

You are approaching the whiffing ability of Taxwonk himself. In fact, I don't want to get your hopes up to high, but with GGG gone we do need a new king of the whiff.