Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones!

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Golf drives me fucking nuts. I grew up playing golf and got bored senseless with it by 21. I still play now and again, but hardly any amount worth discussing. Why does every male at the age of 30 suddenly become a “golf guy”? I like it - its relaxing... But its one of those sports you can never master unless you have inherent skills. You can’t will yourself to be really good without a lot of natural talent, and if you play for more than 3 years, you realize this. Nevertheless, guys talk about how they’re changing their swings and taking lessons, etc... all day long. Its really annoying as hell. The only lesson a pro ever gave me that really made sense was to use my lead arm more than my support arm. That can convert a straight ball to a draw and add about 20 yards. But if you’re a slicer, you’re fucked, and most of the guys I hear talking about it are all fucking slicers. Its maddening. Just go play the fucking game and stop talking about it.

I don't play golf and am completely bored by it. When you started your post by writing about how boring golf if, you drew me in. It was not until I got through your entire fucking post that I realized it was actually just a bunch of boring drivel about golf disguised as a post complaining about people who spout boring drivel about golf. I particularly enjoyed the delicious irony of your final sentence. Kudos on a job well done.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by ironweed
"[Mr./Ms.] ____ is an inveterate ______ and accomplished _______ who enjoys activities that include ______ , ________ and ________ ."

Yes, em did call emself Mr./Ms. and used the word "inveterate." Em was also Not Hot.

"Mr. Weed is an inveterate drunk and accomplished skin-flute soloist who enjoys activities that include sleeping, mumbling and maudlin weeping."

"Inveterate"? Isn't that used with things like "gambler," "smoker," "grifter" and "Republican"?

I like that em enjoys activities.

Originally posted by ironweed
"[Mr./Ms.] ____ is an inveterate ______ and accomplished _______ who enjoys activities that include ______ , ________ and ________ ."

Yes, em did call emself Mr./Ms. and used the word "inveterate." Em was also Not Hot.

"Mr. Weed is an inveterate drunk and accomplished skin-flute soloist who enjoys activities that include sleeping, mumbling and maudlin weeping."

Oh dear. How was he or she in person? Is em getting recommended for an offer? Perhaps em will be an inveterate chump and be an accomplished days, nights and weekends paper pusher? Though I suspect not.

Originally posted by baltassoc
"Inveterate"? Isn't that used with things like "gambler," "smoker," "grifter" and "Republican"?

I like that em enjoys activities.

I think it was a toolish attempt at self-deprecating humor. Which doesn't go so well with bullet points about how fucking super brilliant you are.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by baltassoc
"Inveterate"? Isn't that used with things like "gambler," "smoker," "grifter" and "Republican"?

I like that em enjoys activities.

What would happen if you wrote “Private” or “Confidential” in the interests area?
I would love to go to an interview and answer “None” when they asked me about hobbies. “Well, nothing, really. I don’t have any interests. I work, and that pays for food and shelter. I go home, water the plants, have some food, clean a little and go to bed...

I do enjoy food, though. And I like things clean"

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ironweed
I think it was a toolish attempt at self-deprecating humor. Which doesn't go so well with bullet points about how fucking super brilliant you are.

Well, if you’ve mastered bullets, you get my vote - you’re smarter than I am...

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Nor should you. The Chai Tea is just an innocuous appearing sugar delivery system. In fact, most of those Starbucks bar drinks (particularly the Frappucinos) are just veiled ways for folks who’d be embarrassed to start the day with an ice cream cone to get their fructose/fat fix on...

You might as well hit Carvel on the way to work and shovel a trowelful of Cookie Puss into your pie hole.

I got a Citrus Blend FlavorSplash (from the makers of Aquafina) and it tastes a lot like childrens aspirin. Is it wrong that I feel oddly comforted?

It is wrong that it was the only one there. Dammit.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by ironweed
I think it was a toolish attempt at self-deprecating humor. Which doesn't go so well with bullet points about how fucking super brilliant you are.

Was this a call-back interview? If so, any opportunity to razz the OCI interviewer for sending this tool to you?

And Sebby, I have had people reply to me that they basically have no outside interests. One woman struggled for a minute and then said that she sometimes likes to see movies. Uh, ok.

Originally posted by ironweed
I think it was a toolish attempt at self-deprecating humor. Which doesn't go so well with bullet points about how fucking super brilliant you are.

So em was mocking the convetion of the "Interests" section of the resume that em's law school job placement coordinator made em include despite em's inner guffaws?

I doubt it.

[dtb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Nor should you. The Chai Tea is just an innocuous appearing sugar delivery system. In fact, most of those Starbucks bar drinks (particularly the Frappucinos) are just veiled ways for folks who’d be embarrassed to start the day with an ice cream cone to get their fructose/fat fix on...

You might as well hit Carvel on the way to work and shovel a trowelful of Cookie Puss into your pie hole.

Somebody needs to spray you with a fire hose. I worry about you.

Dude, are you clear on the potential date change? Or is just us gonna palooze on the original date?

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Was this a call-back interview? If so, any opportunity to razz the OCI interviewer for sending this tool to you?

And Sebby, I have had people reply to me that they basically have no outside interests. One woman struggled for a minute and then said that she sometimes likes to see movies. Uh, ok.

I have no idea where this one came from - I just get a call from recruiting every so often saying "can you interview so and so?" Usually it's fairly painless.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by dtb
Somebody needs to spray you with a fire hose. I worry about you.

Like Flashdance? Sexy.

Originally posted by paigowprincess
So em was mocking the convetion of the "Interests" section of the resume that em's law school job placement coordinator made em include despite em's inner guffaws?

I doubt it.

Ok. Now you're just completely overthinking this whole somewhat-but-not-really-all-that-entertaining story.

BTW, speaking of SBNRATES, my 5k loan friend is doing part-time proofreading work and has a new apartment. He broke the news to his wife (he had to with the whole getting-evicted thing and all) and she's still with him. Two days of silent treatment is a pretty small price to pay for what he got up to, IMHO. I was thinking today about how I could use five grand. If I ask him to kill someone for me, does he have to do it?

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Was this a call-back interview? If so, any opportunity to razz the OCI interviewer for sending this tool to you?

And Sebby, I have had people reply to me that they basically have no outside interests. One woman struggled for a minute and then said that she sometimes likes to see movies. Uh, ok.

Can you make up some outside interests for me? Thanks.