Meh.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Although I understand that Hank is being intentionally dim with this post, I will respond for the sake of the long-time-lurker-potential-newbers out there. First, let me start by welcoming all the potential newbers and expressing my sincerest hope that you will very soon become active participants in what The Paigow derisively labels the knitting circle. Second, as you may have figured out, and as Hank certainly knows, it is not the joy of correction posts that we hope will lure you out of your long-time-lurker status. Instead, it is the resulting mental discipline on the board, and consequent streamlined posting style, that we believe will attract you. I do not relish my role as school marm to the hasty, the half-assed, the inebriated. But I know that an easy-to-read board is all the more newber-friendly. Please bear with the correction posts. You will thank me and dtb soon enough for our efforts.

Always remember that each of my posts is an expression of my love for every single one of you.

The Flower

2.

Perhaps Melt Banana said it best:

• "Flies you spat out
  now became sweet maggots
  You put them and saved them in a can
  but you suddenly smashed it down"

[Not Bob's Id]

More questions from the ol' mailbag . . .

• Dear Not Bob's Id,
  
  Is the FB a "knitting circle" or an "ego-stroking circle jerk"? Also, what's the deal with paigow and slave?
  
  Sincerely,
  
  Confused Newber

Dear Penske,

(1) Yes.

(2) Google "snake and mongoose and funny car."

Love,

Not Bob's Id

• Dear Not Bob's Id,
  
  Is [name of female poster deleted] hot?
  
  Sincerely,
  
  Horny Old Married Poster

Dear NotSiddWonkMore,

Yes. But she thinks that you are despicable, and wants you to stop sending the lecherous PMs.

Love,

Not Bob's Id

• Dear Not Bob's Id,
  
  Why does everyone think that I'm Penske?
  
  Sincerely,
  
  Confused Newber

Dear Not Penske,

All new posters are assumed to be Pesnke socks. In 1774, when the Greedy Associates Board was in the ink-on-parchment era, and hosted by the Committee of Correspondence circuit, new star correspondent Thomas Jefferson was accused by Sam Adams of "being a Troll and a mere Penfke fock, not Worthy of a Courteouf and Dignified Refponfe."

Who knows why?

Love,

Not Bob's Id

Hi FB!

Long time lurker here with a workplace Q that could be outable, which is y I am using the Anon.

Let's say one works at a small organization/firm and while not an owner/partner, is senior enough that the person has some amount of hiring/firing power over her direct underlings (junior associates/paralegals/assistants etc.). And now let's say she finds out, surreptitiously through one of her many professional contacts or otherwise, that one of those underlings is interviewing, hard, for another job, which gap in the staff will leave said person with a pita.

What does she do with the info?

Anon b/c potentially outable

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Not Bob's Id

• Dear Not Bob's Id,
  
  Why does everyone think that I'm Penske?
  
  Sincerely,
  
  Confused Newber

Dear Not Penske,

All new posters are assumed to be Pesnke socks. In 1774, when the Greedy Associates Board was in the ink-on-parchment era, and hosted by the Committee of Correspondence circuit, new star correspondent Thomas Jefferson was accused by Sam Adams of "being a Troll and a mere Penfke fock, not Worthy of a Courteouf and Dignified Refponfe."

Who knows why?

Love,

Not Bob's Id

Although this schtick has the potential to become tiresome, this part made me chuckle. You can't go wrong substituting "f" for "s" like they did in days of yore.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous

What does she do with the info?

You keep your mouth shut. Underlings are not indentured servants and are free to interview wherever they like. Why would you try to fuck this person up? Talk about bad karma.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
Hi FB!

Long time lurker here with a workplace Q that could be outable, which is y I am using the Anon.

Let's say one works at a small organization/firm and while not an owner/partner, is senior enough that the person has some amount of hiring/firing power over her direct underlings (junior associates/paralegals/assistants etc.). And now let's say she finds out, surreptitiously through one of her many professional contacts or otherwise, that one of those underlings is interviewing, hard, for another job, which gap in the staff will leave said person with a pita.

What does she do with the info?

Anon b/c potentially outable

Is there sex involved? If not isn't there a more appropriate board for this?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Although this schtick has the potential to become tiresome, this part made me chuckle. You can't go wrong substituting "f" for "s" like they did in days of yore.

Ye olde days, indeed.

Also, any invocation of "Penske" and "socks" is never stale.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
Hi FB!

Long time lurker here with a workplace Q that could be outable, which is y I am using the Anon.

Let's say one works at a small organization/firm and while not an owner/partner, is senior enough that the person has some amount of hiring/firing power over her direct underlings (junior associates/paralegals/assistants etc.). And now let's say she finds out, surreptitiously through one of her many professional contacts or otherwise, that one of those underlings is interviewing, hard, for another job, which gap in the staff will leave said person with a pita.

What does she do with the info?

Anon b/c potentially outable

Make sure the underling gets a surprise raise, to recognize his hard work and dedication. If he is looking to leave and is vitally important to your organization, you aren't paying him enough. At some point, it won't be worth it to you to pay him another dollar. If he still leaves, it was meant to be. But think of how much it'll cost to replace him.

The Machiavellian answer is the same, except immediately begin to search for his replacement after he accepts the raise.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
And now let's say she finds out, surreptitiously through one of her many professional contacts or otherwise, that one of those underlings is interviewing, hard, for another job, which gap in the staff will leave said person with a pita.

What does she do with the info?

How close are you to the underling? Would you be able to have a conversation with this underling?

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
You keep your mouth shut. Underlings are not indentured servants and are free to interview wherever they like. Why would you try to fuck this person up? Talk about bad karma.

It is not a matter of "fucking the person up".

It is more managing staffing and workload concerns and that "she" doesn't want to get saddled with more work and administrative headaches when underling leaves with little notice.

Originally posted by baltassoc
Make sure the underling gets a surprise raise, to recognize his hard work and dedication. If he is looking to leave and is vitally important to your organization, you aren't paying him enough. At some point, it won't be worth it to you to pay him another dollar. If he still leaves, it was meant to be. But think of how much it'll cost to replace him.

The Machiavellian answer is the same, except immediately begin to search for his replacement after he accepts the raise.

Yes, both potentially good. thanks. How about just starting to look now to beat underling to the punch? Once someone starts interviewing is there a psychological leap that is made where it is hard for a person to be truly committed to the organization again?

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
It is not a matter of "fucking the person up".

It is more managing staffing and workload concerns and that "she" doesn't want to get saddled with more work and administrative headaches when underling leaves with little notice.

I was recently in a similar bind. Now I have more work.

Ask the underling if they can negotiate with the other firm for you too.

Originally posted by Not Bob
How close are you to the underling? Would you be able to have a conversation with this underling?

If we assume close enough, what does one say? "I know you're interviewing, wtf?" ?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
It is not a matter of "fucking the person up".

It is more managing staffing and workload concerns and that "she" doesn't want to get saddled with more work and administrative headaches when underling leaves with little notice.

It's tough because most anything you do would fuck up underling if he doesn't get the job, or decides not to take it.

Can you start a hire search on your own, and anon, or do you need authorization? Maybe you could start looking secretely in case you do need to replace them. Of course, your boss might find out you knew then and didn't tell him.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
Yes, both potentially good. thanks. How about just starting to look now to beat underling to the punch? Once someone starts interviewing is there a psychological leap that is made where it is hard for a person to be truly committed to the organization again?

Or it could be that they just want to see if there is better out there. I was VERY close to taking a Corporate position. In the end I got cold feet and stayed- the devil I knew was better. your underling could make the same decision.