More pie

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
If I may vent for a moment.

The secretary who sits outside my office is loudly passive-aggressive and it's driving me bananas. All she does is say something aggressive, and then to offset it, cackle like a demented crow like she just said the funniest thing in the world.

For example:

(to one of her attorneys) "What I really need is for you to just leave me alone" (Cackle cackle cackle)

"I don't see why everyone has to use the highspeed printer" (cackle cackle cackle)

"It really helps that *I* know how to do my job" (cackle cackle cackle)

Day after day after day of this. I just keep my door shut, but something is fucked up with the heat and my office is getting stuffy. (and smelly, because I haven't wiped my sweet spot today). Oh well. Carry on.

New associates are starting soon. Can you angle to switch to a "better" office before they get there so you can saddle some poor first year with the cackles?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
white noise generator in door.

My first secretary I shared with a guy who had been out about 10 years. I found out later that he was the most anal prick ever- but I didn't know that yet.

I meet the 1st sec. and she seems nice enough, until about 11 AM. Then i hear her tearing into the other guy "No fucking way, i will redo that, you better fucking learn toget it right. I am so sick of your shit, etc."

I found out later that he sort of was hated by everyone and everyone sympathized with her for doing his work so she got some slack. BUT for the next few months I walked on eggshells to not make her mad at me, believe you me.

Did he flush?

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Then i hear her tearing into the other guy "No fucking way, i will redo that, you better fucking learn toget it right. I am so sick of your shit, etc."

Did she cackle? It's the cackling that gets me.

I don't think I can switch firms. For the past few years I have been changing jobs every year just so I can get a two-month vacation. I have since pulled up my socks.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
New associates are starting soon. Can you angle to switch to a "better" office before they get there so you can saddle some poor first year with the cackles?

There's an empty office down the hall that I have my eye on. We will see.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Did she cackle? It's the cackling that gets me.

I don't think I can switch firms. For the past few years I have been changing jobs every year just so I can get a two-month vacation. I have since pulled up my socks.

The secretary outside of my office cackles too! Only she doesn't do it in connection with any sort of passive-aggressive thing. It is just her laughing style. Mainly she laughs/cackles between 2 and 5 everyday, during her seemingly endless stream of personal phone calls. It is louder on days when the partner I office next to is out of the office. Apparently she cares more whether he hears her seemingly endless stream of personal phone calls than if I do.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Did she cackle? It's the cackling that gets me.

I don't think I can switch firms. For the past few years I have been changing jobs every year just so I can get a two-month vacation. I have since pulled up my socks.

Send her an anon email saying "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET BACK TO WORK, BEEYITCH!".

That should do it, yes?

eta: That admonition was my holiday gift to staff several years back. It came with an optional kick in the arse, although no one opted for that. None of the recipients are still here.....and it was cheaper than the time Slave made me buy them wine.....

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
The secretary outside of my office cackles too! Only she doesn't do it in connection with any sort of passive-aggressive thing. It is just her laughing style. Mainly she laughs/cackles between 2 and 5 everyday, during her seemingly endless stream of personal phone calls. It is louder on days when the partner I office next to is out of the office. Apparently she cares more whether he hears her seemingly endless stream of personal phone calls than if I do.

does whether or not she flushes depend on if there are partners in the restroom?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Mainly she laughs/cackles between 2 and 5 everyday, during her seemingly endless stream of personal phone calls.

It's unbelievable.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
The secretary outside of my office cackles too! Only she doesn't do it in connection with any sort of passive-aggressive thing. It is just her laughing style. Mainly she laughs/cackles between 2 and 5 everyday, during her seemingly endless stream of personal phone calls. It is louder on days when the partner I office next to is out of the office. Apparently she cares more whether he hears her seemingly endless stream of personal phone calls than if I do.

My secretary reads Bible passages on the sly, and if she thinks no one can tell, she'll turn on a small radio to listen to sermons. Every now and then I'll hear a "Praise the lowad!" but as far as annoying tics go, it could be worse.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
does whether or not she flushes depend on if there are partners in the restroom?

We don't have coed bathrooms and my firm doesn't believe in female partners, so I guess we'll never know.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
My secretary reads Bible passages on the sly, and if she thinks no one can tell, she'll turn on a small radio to listen to sermons. Every now and then I'll hear a "Praise the lowad!" but as far as annoying tics go, it could be worse.

The previous owner of my blackberry has all kinds of psalms and inspirational shit stored on it.

The secretary outside my office tears paper before throwing it out. That's noisy. Otherwise, she is a very quiet and generally pleasant woman. She had a chair that squeaked every time she moved, but she snagged a new chair from an unused station after I told her that she deserved a better chair than a beat up old squeaky one. Is that passive-agressive? Or just honey versus vinegar?

At my previous firm, one secretary-partner pair yelled across the hall at each other as if they were old married bickersons. This secretary painted her nails at her desk and wore clicky clack shoes and ate food with onions. The partner used speakerphone for every call, and he was hard of hearing so he had the volume on maximum, and he could never dial a call right the first time, and the firm required billing codes be entered for all calls, and he cursed a lot while mis-dialing, and he liked to look at female associates' assets. Good times.

[SlaveNoMore]

taxwonk
I had a full head of hair when I was born. I was to lose it a short time later. This would turn out to be a pattern with me, but I did not find that out until later in life.

Were you Chinese when you were born?

[LessinSF]

LessinSF was forty years old today,
They took away all of his toys.
His mother sent newspaper clippings to him,
About his old friends who'd stopped being boys.
There was Harwitz E. Green, just turned thirty-three,
His leather chair waits at the bank.
And Sargent Dow Jones, twenty-seven years old,
Commanding his very own tank.
But Lessin still finds it a nice thing to do,
To lie about nude in the sand,
Drawing pictures of mountains that look like bumps,
And thrashing the air with his hands.

But wait, oh Lessin's productive you know,
He produces the finest of sound,
Putting drumsticks on either side of his nose,
Snorting the best licks in town,
But that's all over...

LessinSF was forty years old today,
And Lessin came foam from his tongue.
He looked at me eyes wide and plainly said,
Is it true that I'm no longer young?
And the children call him famous,
And the old men call him insane,
And sometimes he's so nameless,
That he hardly knows which game to play...
Which words to say...
And I should have told him, "No, you're not old."
And I should have let him go on...smiling...babywide.

[SlaveNoMore]

greatwhitenorthchick
I just keep my door shut, but something is fucked up with the heat and my office is getting stuffy. (and smelly, because I haven't wiped my sweet spot today). Oh well. Carry on.

Keep the door shut and make a banana cream pie.

That should alleviate some tension.

[Replaced_Texan]

Niel Gaiman directed me to the TSA website with the following observation:

I have just read the TSA list of permitted and prohibited items in full.

Toothpaste is out.
Hairgel is out.
"Topical or rash creams" are out.
Lip gels are out.
Shampoos and conditioners are out.
Personal lubricants are... just fine.

I blink. I find I'm suddenly unsure whether or not that means exactly what I'm certain it does mean, so I google "personal lubricants" and yes, it's talking about exactly what I think it's talking about. Up to 4 oz. of personal lubricants are just fine.... practically the only liquid you can take with you onto a plane.

I went to double check, and sure enough:

To ensure the health and welfare of certain air travelers the following items are permitted.

• Small amounts of Baby forumula and breast milk if a baby or small child is traveling.
• Liquid prescription medicine with a name that matches the passenger's ticket
• Up to 5 oz. (148ml) of liquid or gel low blood sugar treatment
• Up to 4 oz. of essential non-prescription medications including saline solution, eye care products and KY jelly
• Gel-filled bras and similar prosthetics (Ed: hahahahahahahahaha)
• Gel-filled wheelchair cushions
• Life support and life sustaining liquids such as bone marrow, blood products, and transplant organs carried for medical reasons

You are permitted to bring solid cosmetics and personal hygiene items as such lipstick, lip balm and similar solids. Please remember these items must be solid and not liquid, gel or aerosol.