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06-15-2007, 02:47 PM
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#961
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
My mom told me once that she had an obscene caller harrassing her for a few months back in the 60s. The guy would ask her how her pussy was, and she said it was so confusing because she didn't have a cat, and she explained that fact to the guy several times.
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Good thing she didn't go to Oregon State.
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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06-15-2007, 02:54 PM
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#962
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Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Flower
Posts: 8,434
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Ring....ring!
RT's Mom: Hello?
Caller: [breathing] How is your pussy?
RT's Mom: Excuse me?
Caller: How is your..........pussy?
RT's Mom: I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number, I don't have a cat.
Caller: No, no......your pussy, how is your pussy?
RT's Mom: We have a few dogs, and one of them has heartworm, but no cats. I'm allegeric, and plus, I just plain don't trust cats.
Caller: No, not your cat, your pussy, how is your pussy? Tell me about your pussy.
RT's Mom: I'm afraid I don't understand. I think you have me confused with somebody else, we don't have a cat.
Caller: Ah fuck, forget it.
click.
RT's Mom: [thinking] Hmmm, maybe we should get a cat.
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Dear Flinty,
You are widely regarded as the funniest poster on these here internet chatting boards. But with this honor comes responsibility. I think that writing the screenplay for the humorous interaction between RT's mom and the pervert caller had a lot of potential. But your rendition did not really convey much beyond what RT had already conveyed in her summary of the conversation. In short, it was a bit disappointing. I tell you this not to discourage you but because I love you. And when I say I love you, I don't mean anything weird. I simply mean that I would like to put my penis into your anus and move it in and out until the friction causes me to ejaculate.
Love,
Flower
__________________
Inside every man lives the seed of a flower.
If he looks within he finds beauty and power.
I am not sorry.
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06-15-2007, 03:00 PM
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#963
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Dear Flinty,
You are widely regarded as the funniest poster on these here internet chatting boards. But with this honor comes responsibility. I think that writing the screenplay for the humorous interaction between RT's mom and the pervert caller had a lot of potential. But your rendition did not really convey much beyond what RT had already conveyed in her summary of the conversation. In short, it was a bit disappointing. I tell you this not to discourage you but because I love you. And when I say I love you, I don't mean anything weird. I simply mean that I would like to put my penis into your anus and move it in and out until the friction causes me to ejaculate.
Love,
Flower
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I think it would work better if he changed RT's mother to a guy at the bowling alley, and instead of asking her the cat thing, the caller could ask the bowling alley guy if he had 15-pound balls.
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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06-15-2007, 03:03 PM
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#964
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: i put on my robe and wizard hat
Posts: 4,837
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Dear Flinty,
You are widely regarded as the funniest poster on these here internet chatting boards. But with this honor comes responsibility. I think that writing the screenplay for the humorous interaction between RT's mom and the pervert caller had a lot of potential. But your rendition did not really convey much beyond what RT had already conveyed in her summary of the conversation. In short, it was a bit disappointing. I tell you this not to discourage you but because I love you. And when I say I love you, I don't mean anything weird. I simply mean that I would like to put my penis into your anus and move it in and out until the friction causes me to ejaculate.
Love,
Flower
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I appreciate the constructive criticism, and thank you for it. I accept full responsibility for my failure. I hate to make excuses, but I think I should add some color to the picture; at the time of the writing, I was vigoriously receiving unsolicited fellatio from several nubile females, and my focus was not as should be expected. It was especially hard (ha) to type the word "pussy" or be any more graphic without potentially "disappointing" my immediate company and their sincere kindness. I am afraid that in this instance, my good manners overcame my ability to be humorous on these interwebs chat boards, and for that, I am eternally sorry.
I am glad though, that you were at least turned on, as it means it was not a complete failure, and perhaps we all learned something today.
Love,
Flinty
__________________
I'm going to become rich and famous after I invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet.
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06-15-2007, 03:03 PM
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#965
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Dear Flinty,
You are widely regarded as the funniest poster on these here internet chatting boards. But with this honor comes responsibility. I think that writing the screenplay for the humorous interaction between RT's mom and the pervert caller had a lot of potential. But your rendition did not really convey much beyond what RT had already conveyed in her summary of the conversation. In short, it was a bit disappointing. I tell you this not to discourage you but because I love you. And when I say I love you, I don't mean anything weird. I simply mean that I would like to put my penis into your anus and move it in and out until the friction causes me to ejaculate.
Love,
Flower
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That sounds fun. What do I need to do to become widely regarded as the funniest poster on these here internet chatting boards? |
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06-15-2007, 03:04 PM
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#966
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: i put on my robe and wizard hat
Posts: 4,837
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
That sounds fun. What do I need to do to become widely regarded as the funniest poster on these here internet chatting boards?
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Stop posting under this sock and start another?
Commence fellatio!
__________________
I'm going to become rich and famous after I invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet.
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06-15-2007, 03:04 PM
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#967
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Wild Rumpus Facilitator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: In a teeny, tiny, little office
Posts: 14,167
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
It doesn't hold a candle to the hash brownie episode of Barney Miller.
/smug satisfaction
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A real Barney Miller fan would be more humble.
__________________
Send in the evil clowns.
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06-15-2007, 03:07 PM
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#968
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: i put on my robe and wizard hat
Posts: 4,837
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by taxwonk
A real Barney Miller fan would be more humble.
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Aren't those fans all dead or senile by now? They can't help but be humble.
__________________
I'm going to become rich and famous after I invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet.
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06-15-2007, 03:07 PM
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#969
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Stop posting under this sock and start another?
Commence fellatio!
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Uh, fellatio sounds less appealing than what Flower was talking about. |
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06-15-2007, 03:08 PM
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#970
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Wild Rumpus Facilitator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: In a teeny, tiny, little office
Posts: 14,167
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
I appreciate the constructive criticism, and thank you for it. I accept full responsibility for my failure. I hate to make excuses, but I think I should add some color to the picture; at the time of the writing, I was vigoriously receiving unsolicited fellatio from several nubile females, and my focus was not as should be expected. It was especially hard (ha) to type the word "pussy" or be any more graphic without potentially "disappointing" my immediate company and their sincere kindness. I am afraid that in this instance, my good manners overcame my ability to be humorous on these interwebs chat boards, and for that, I am eternally sorry.
I am glad though, that you were at least turned on, as it means it was not a complete failure, and perhaps we all learned something today.
Love,
Flinty
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Why don't you two just get it over with and fuck, already?
__________________
Send in the evil clowns.
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06-15-2007, 03:11 PM
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#971
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Wild Rumpus Facilitator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: In a teeny, tiny, little office
Posts: 14,167
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Aren't those fans all dead or senile by now? They can't help but be humble.
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Fans? What fans? We haven't had fans for years. We got the central air now. It makes the whole house like a Frigidaire, for God's sake!!!
Where's my sweater?
__________________
Send in the evil clowns.
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06-15-2007, 03:19 PM
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#972
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I think it would work better if he changed RT's mother to a guy at the bowling alley, and instead of asking her the cat thing, the caller could ask the bowling alley guy if he had 15-pound balls.
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Okay, I've been working with this, and I think I have something.
Bowling Alley Guy: Hello?
Caller: Do you have 15-pound balls?
Bowling Alley Guy: Yes.
Caller: Ha!
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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06-15-2007, 03:24 PM
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#973
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: i put on my robe and wizard hat
Posts: 4,837
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Okay, I've been working with this, and I think I have something.
Bowling Alley Guy: Hello?
Caller: Do you have 15-pound balls?
Bowling Alley Guy: Yes.
Caller: Ha!
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Brilliant! I teared at the end, I admit it.
__________________
I'm going to become rich and famous after I invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet.
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06-15-2007, 03:28 PM
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#974
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Brilliant! I teared at the end, I admit it.
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All we need now are car chase and soft-core lesbian sex scenes and I think we've got a movie.
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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06-15-2007, 03:33 PM
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#975
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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But if I really say it, the radio won't play it.
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
All we need now are car chase and soft-core lesbian sex scenes and I think we've got a movie.
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ooooh. yeah. I think you will have more luck off-off-off-off broadway.
Gatti? Maybe if they modified "soft-core lesbian sex scenes" to be "hard-core multi-species sex scenes"? Movie material? Or is it too derivative even for porn? |
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