A Black Hole of Happiness

[barely_legal]

Originally posted by John Phoenix
If you decide to have a party, and get it videotaped, take off the videographer's microphone before soliciting your new spouse for sex....oh, you meant engagement advice?

In addition to other excellent advice that you may receive about registering for lots and lots and lots of stuff at Crate & Barrel and/or Williams Sonoma, because of their excellent return policies, consider registering for fine china. That is something on which you never will want to spend your own money, but, when you host a family dinner (Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc.), you will be happy to have it.

no way in hell I'm registering for fine china. I have no place to put it and I don't ever want to host an event upscale enough to require it. That's what my mother is for. and his mother.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by barely_legal
no way in hell I'm registering for fine china. I have no place to put it and I don't ever want to host an event upscale enough to require it. That's what my mother is for. and his mother.

Congratulations!!!!!

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by barely_legal
So, i've pretty much totally outed myself with many of the stories I've told here so here's another piece of outable info: I just got engaged!

So, anybody want to pony up some advice? Preferably amusing advice instead of depressing advice? This will be a first marriage for both of us.

I actually have some etiquette questions that I think I know the answer to but would like some reinforcement. For example, we are going to elope. But I know that people in his family and my family are going to want to buy us wedding gifts even though we're not having a wedding. Would it be tacky to register even if we're not having a wedding? I wouldn't announce to people that we had registered but if people asked me (or my mother), I would let them know. How tacky is this? Where is Debtslave?

Congratulations!

Having never gone through anything like that, I have absolutely no advice to give. I will point out that my parents got eloped nearly 36 years ago. It seemed to take. There are a couple of pieces of silver around the house that they say they got as wedding presents after people found out about their marriage, but I don't think they registered anywhere.

ETA: Let me know how it goes. I'm under orders to follow the family tradition should anyone be stupid enough to want to marry me.

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
What do you do when your team trades away one of your favorite players (who they should freaking re-sign)? If Mark Buehrle goes to the Mets, I'm going to be pissed. We signed Contreras and Javy Vasquez to long term deals (and they both suck), but we're going to let Buehrle go, even though he's a homegrown crowd favorite with career numbers that match Glavine at the same age? Fuck. There's going to be no one left from the World Series team.

1. Send me an address I'll send you a Tshirt.
2. Patrick Kane.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by barely_legal
So, i've pretty much totally outed myself with many of the stories I've told here so here's another piece of outable info: I just got engaged!

So, anybody want to pony up some advice? Preferably amusing advice instead of depressing advice? This will be a first marriage for both of us.

I actually have some etiquette questions that I think I know the answer to but would like some reinforcement. For example, we are going to elope. But I know that people in his family and my family are going to want to buy us wedding gifts even though we're not having a wedding. Would it be tacky to register even if we're not having a wedding? I wouldn't announce to people that we had registered but if people asked me (or my mother), I would let them know. How tacky is this? Where is Debtslave?

First of all, congratulations.
Second, personally, I think that if you're not going to have a wedding or a reception, then registering is tacky. Because the gift is kind of for being invited to those things.

And here's is the marriage lady's etiquette answer to someone who is eloping and is not having a reception, but a party at their house...

Dear Eloping,

You can register, but your party is not considered a gift giving situation. Gifts are given for the wedding; not the party or reception. However, many guests may want to congratulate you with a gift, so you could register. Just do not inform people of your registry unless they ask.

Best wishes,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette by Rebecca & Etiquette Now

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
First of all, congratulations.
Second, personally, I think that if you're not going to have a wedding or a reception, then registering is tacky. Because the gift is kind of for being invited to those things.

And here's is the marriage lady's etiquette answer to someone who is eloping and is not having a reception, but a party at their house...

Dear Eloping,

You can register, but your party is not considered a gift giving situation. Gifts are given for the wedding; not the party or reception. However, many guests may want to congratulate you with a gift, so you could register. Just do not inform people of your registry unless they ask.

Best wishes,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette by Rebecca & Etiquette Now

Oh, Bullshit!

Gifts are given because someone loves you and wants to wish you well. Gifts may not be mandated, but generous people will still give them (just as generous people will usually tip their friendly FBI agent).

Registering avoids duplicates and lets people get what you want. Tell this Black woman to go screw.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
First of all, congratulations.
Second, personally, I think that if you're not going to have a wedding or a reception, then registering is tacky. Because the gift is kind of for being invited to those things.

Bullshit. Gift giving is because you want to give a gift. There are no obligations, conditions, or other restrictions on gift giving. There are traditions where gifts are given, but they shouldn't be constraints.

No one should invite someone to an event with the expectation that they'll receive a gift in return for the invitation, and no one should give a gift with the expectation that they'll get something in return.

Gifts are gifts. No more, no less. Attaching strings to gifts is tacky.

I give gifts all the time. Sometimes as thank yous, sometimes to mark an occassion, sometimes for a holiday, and sometimes, a lot of the times, actually, just because.

[John Phoenix]

Originally posted by barely_legal
no way in hell I'm registering for fine china. I have no place to put it and I don't ever want to host an event upscale enough to require it. That's what my mother is for. and his mother.

Then screw it. Register for towels.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
2. We still have our Lenox cobalt blue stripe with gold trim. good stuff. Lasts.

Also, Calphalon pots and pans. We still have ours. going on 9 years. Like new. seriously.

Calphalon? Calphalon?? Some time in the next 72 hours, Taxwonk is going to let you know that if you ever dare to bring a piece of Calphalon cookware into his kitchen, he will smack you silly with an All-Clad saucepan.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by barely_legal
So, i've pretty much totally outed myself with many of the stories I've told here so here's another piece of outable info: I just got engaged!

So, anybody want to pony up some advice? Preferably amusing advice instead of depressing advice? This will be a first marriage for both of us.

I actually have some etiquette questions that I think I know the answer to but would like some reinforcement. For example, we are going to elope. But I know that people in his family and my family are going to want to buy us wedding gifts even though we're not having a wedding. Would it be tacky to register even if we're not having a wedding? I wouldn't announce to people that we had registered but if people asked me (or my mother), I would let them know. How tacky is this? Where is Debtslave?

Congrats.

Where will you be going for the eloping (elopement? elopatude? elopapalooza?)? I need to live vicariously through someone, so make it good.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by John Phoenix
Then screw it. Register for towels.

This is better advice. You can go your whole life without ever having to serve a fancy meal on elegant china. But you can never be dry enough.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
This is better advice. You can go your whole life without ever having to serve a fancy meal on elegant china. But you can never be dry enough.

Yes, but fifteen years into our marriage, the towels are getting a little ragged.

I think I need to get married again.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by barely_legal
So, i've pretty much totally outed myself with many of the stories I've told here so here's another piece of outable info: I just got engaged!

So, anybody want to pony up some advice? Preferably amusing advice instead of depressing advice? This will be a first marriage for both of us.

I actually have some etiquette questions that I think I know the answer to but would like some reinforcement. For example, we are going to elope. But I know that people in his family and my family are going to want to buy us wedding gifts even though we're not having a wedding. Would it be tacky to register even if we're not having a wedding? I wouldn't announce to people that we had registered but if people asked me (or my mother), I would let them know. How tacky is this? Where is Debtslave?

Congratulations, Barely!

As to the whole registering thing, just do it. I don't think anyone will think less of you. However, you might want to think about having a party at some point after the elopement to celebrate the wedding. That provides an occasion for people to bring or order gifts for you so it doesn't seem so weird.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
This is better advice. You can go your whole life without ever having to serve a fancy meal on elegant china. But you can never be dry enough.

Indeed. I inherited my marital towels and they are great. Soft, plush and big. I like to drape myself in them. You can't do that with china.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Calphalon? Calphalon?? Some time in the next 72 hours, Taxwonk is going to let you know that if you ever dare to bring a piece of Calphalon cookware into his kitchen, he will smack you silly with an All-Clad saucepan.

In a completely gratuitous attempt to make everything all about me, I will mention that I recently got some Le Creuset cookware that I adore. AND it's pretty.