General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally Posted by Penske_Account

Unsuitable for what? Step-parenting (or the functional equivalent, i.e. seriously dating someone with children) is a complex dynamic and there are plenty of persons who are decent spousal (or dating) material and yet not quite cut out for step parenting or some aspects of it. that said, 3 to what 1463 said.

I do not believe that my ex would want to introduce our child to someone who would be unsuitable for meeting our child. I trust his judgment. I don't want to be married to him, but I think he's a great guy, a great dad, and a damn fine lawyer.

[Penske_Account]

Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen

I do not believe that my ex would want to introduce our child to someone who would be unsuitable for meeting our child. I trust his judgment. I don't want to be married to him, but I think he's a great guy, a great dad, and a damn fine lawyer.

In the context of your posts, it seems believable, even from the distance of the internets, that he wouldn't introduce the child to some unsuitable for meeting the child.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally Posted by 1436

That seems a bit anal at first, but is really quite brilliant. Well done. She is lucky to have adults as parents.

It seems like a great opportunity for some swinging.

[1436]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

It seems like a great opportunity for some swinging.

Was that not the whole of the arrangement?

[Penske_Account]

Originally Posted by Gattigap

This may be so, but I suspect that Penske would've made his hottub post even without the benefit of a Seinfeldian reference.

'Scuse me. Have to go look for some socks.........

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally Posted by 1436

Was that not the whole of the arrangement?

If I wanted to have sex with my ex-husband, I could have simply stayed married to him.

[Penske_Account]

Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen

If I wanted to have sex with my ex-husband, I could have simply stayed married to him.

Perhaps, but you may not have had the chance to know the girlfriend but for the divorce.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen

If I wanted to have sex with my ex-husband, I could have simply stayed married to him.

I thought staying married was the best way not to have sex with your husband.

Thank you, I'll be here 'til tomorrow.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Penske_Account

Perhaps, but you may not have had the chance to know the girlfriend but for the divorce.

This was the best of all possible jokes.

ETA but because it doesn't rely upon a knowledge of Hobbes, I cannot award it my POTD.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

This was the best of all possible jokes.

pet peeve alert!

this sort of pronouncement always strikes me as very pompous. for you to opine upon the best possible joke means that you are superior in that department and thus can make such a god-like statement. it's like a person assuming he is capable of drafting an IQ test to finally determine which of the handful of above-200 IQ people is the smartest.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

pet peeve alert!

this sort of pronouncement always strikes me as very pompous. for you to opine upon the best possible joke means that you are superior in that department and thus can make such a god-like statement. it's like a person assuming he is capable of drafting an IQ test to finally determine which of the handful of above-200 IQ people is the smartest.

I do not think you would like my Translation of this.

[credit this]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

I haven't heard of a big push to drug teens. I saw it at the 1st and 2nd grade level. We did that chat here, one sock felt his kid really benefited. But I know some of my kids' friends got stuck on drugs where it made no sense (1 boy, who is the son of a neo-natoligist who is sort of introverted and spacey, was drugged for being introverted and spacey, etc.)

do you know if the initial push was from school, or if she went to a therapist for some other reason? I would tend to think less of a school initiated "suggestion" than one from an outside guy.

In the end, it's tough. I'm sure the parents are not pleased to have reached such a decision, and they have thought through everything you said.

At best, a simple, "I've heard from people with older kids that too many kids get meds prescribed now-a-days, are you really sure she needs this, she seems really normal," might be all you can say. If you want you can tell her you heard it from Hank Chinaski, then link her to my other parents' board posts so she understands the weight that she should place on the advice?

From the perspective of an East coast suburban environment in which folks have the money to pay for a chemical solution and social acceptability of the same is reasonably high, I would submit

Antidepressants:teenage girls :: stimulants:elementary school boys.

There is plenty of overprescribing. Also, there are more kids than you would think with genuine, organic needs. With ADD, the needs are easier to see, esp. to someone not living with the kid. I guess it's scary either way as the uncle -- either there is a serious problem that you aren't in a position to see, or there is some serious medication going on unnecessarily.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

I do not think you would like my Translation of this.

say it, don't spray it


and on a day when i gave you world class advice, there should be only a selection of my advice posts in your final list for post of the day

[credit this]

Originally Posted by ltl/fb

Highly precocious 11 or 12-y-o boy. Last Xmas, he was reading some series where animals talked and kind of fought or something? I don't think there were people involved. I seem to remember a central badger figure, but could be wrong about that. Requesting books anywhere from 300 to 2,000 pages. That we think he would like. Because I am sooooo in touch with the mind of an 11 (or 12) year old.

Ideas? He's definitely read all the ones by the Half Magic author, and Narnia. And Harry Potter, of course.

I may be too late to this party, but one possibility I didn't see mentioned was the Warriors series, which squares with the animal politics series (but probably is not the same -- I think Warriors is all cats). The writing may be one grade on the young side for your precocious 11-12 y.o., but not too far off. (Similar to the Perseus Jackson books already mentioned.) The books are also a little shorter than your target length I think. Watership Down, an oldie, is in the same genre and more mature. And longer.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by credit this

From the perspective of an East coast suburban environment in which folks have the money to pay for a chemical solution and social acceptability of the same is reasonably high, I would submit

Antidepressants:teenage girls :: stimulants:elementary school boys.

There is plenty of overprescribing. Also, there are more kids than you would think with genuine, organic needs. With ADD, the needs are easier to see, esp. to someone not living with the kid. I guess it's scary either way as the uncle -- either there is a serious problem that you aren't in a position to see, or there is some serious medication going on unnecessarily.

Since I regard all good parenting as a series of bad mistakes motivated by good intentions, such that you feel like a shitheel when you're grown up enough to realize that maybe your parents weren't wrong about everything, I have every reason to believe Niece will eventually turn out okay. What matters is exactly what flavor of okay. If she spends the rest of her life on a pill because "I have anxiety and need treatment or everything feels bad" is the only identity she's ever known, she'll be in the same position as a number of adults and I'm sure she'll be a productive member of society and everything.

Part of me thinks that my objection to medication is that this bombshell was apparently not preceded by any kind of serious consideration of lifestyle factors, i.e., they'll give her a pill for her anxiety but she'll stay at her large academically demanding comprehensive high school and keep her AP classes and go to college, just like all of her classmates also on Xanax. Because she just needs to get through this so she can be a stress case in college, grad school and hamster wheel, I guess.