Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Burger, were you referring to the above or Seinfeld?

The Abstinence

gs: Debra Jo Rupp (Katie) Brenda Strong (Sue Ellen) Bob Odenkirk (Ben) Meagen Fay (Mrs. Burns) Tamara Bick (Louise) Alex Trebek (Voice of Himself) Derek Jeter (Himself) Bernie Williams (Himself) Lawrence A. Mandley (Larry the Cook) Fern Fitzgerald (Ms. Wilkie) Noelle Balfour (Waitress) Kyle Gass (Smoker) Judy Kerr (Woman) David Letterman (Himself (uncredited)) Phil Morris (Jackie Chiles)

George's girlfriend has mononucleosis and he can't have sex with her for six weeks. Elaine's met a doctor who's almost gotten his license to practice. Jerry agrees to appear at career day at his former junior high school, first he is bumped and then there is a fire drill. Kramer lights up a cigar in Monk's and is asked to leave. He meets others on the street who face his dilemma so he opens up his apartment as a smoking lounge. Jerry's agent gets him an assembly at the school. George's lack of sex makes his mind sharper. Elaine learns how much her doctor boyfriend doesn't know about medicine. She uses George's technique to help him study to get his license, but in the process she becomes an idiot. Jerry struggles to figure out how to fill two hours in front of a junior high crowd. George uses his new found intellect to give batting advice, speaks Portuguese and prepares a presentation for Jerry's assembly. Kramer sees his lawyer about a case against the tobacco company, smoking has destroyed his looks. He gets a settlement without Jackie's input. George calculates the odds of scoring with a Portuguese waitress. Elaine's boyfriend gets his license and leaves her sexless.

b: 21-Nov-96 pc: 809 w: Steve Koren d: Andy Ackerman

NOTE: When George orders lunch from the Portuguese waitress in Portuguese he orders Elaine an "Ensalade Grande". Which in any language is a "Big Salad", a reference back to that 6th season episode "The Big Salad".