Quote:
Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I have nothing against you personally. I wanted to point out the irony: First, you told me that it should be easy to get over the fact that something you expected (weight gain) was difficult, and then you jumped all over me for suggesting that nursing becomes easy for most people even though in your case it did not. I apologize if I was overly harsh in how I made that point. I know from direct experience that nursing is a subject in which some people can be judgmental. I am not, but I do think it's possible to make bad decisions based on anecdotal evidence of the occasions in which nursing is impossible. It does happen, but it's the exception, not the rule. Would you accept advice on what to do based on the exception rather than the rule? Can I share my anecdotal evidence without you feeling attacked?
Can we all just agree that we can talk about our own parenting experiences on this board without being accused of implicitly saying "You are bad and wrong for having done differently"? Trust me, if I think something is bad and wrong, I'll actually say so, and if I think someone is bad and wrong for having done something, I'll say that too.
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Yes, and apparently you would be surprised to know I have a similar perspective ("just because I relate my own story doesn't mean I'm judging yours"). But do recognize that it can sound different coming from someone who hasn't actually been there, and that these issues in particular sometimes hit women in particularly personal ways. For the record, I wasn't *personally* bothered by what you said or implied, feeling both very happy about my epis and nursing for a collective almost 2 years. But do understand that when you say nursing will be "like falling off a log," I may say, "that's crap." I didn't have it as bad as many, and I chose to stay with it, and yes it was easy after 3 months or so, but I'd never give that kind of blanket statement, because I know better. Depends on your definition of easy, I guess, but saying so, especially if you haven't done it, is, as they say, Not Helpful.
I still don't think there's much of a comparison to be drawn between my saying "you sound condescending to suggest that nursing is a piece of cake and women should do it, even if you think it's really hard," and my saying, "people who can't hear their kid is 10% for weight without thinking this jeopardizes Harvard or means years of intensive nutritional and weight-training therapy need to get a grip." One's a physical issue, and the other is an atittude adjustment.
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