Meh.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
After decades of waiting and thousands of posts of trash talk from both corners, the game is finally on (unless Coltrane chickens out). The dream match. The race of the century.

Coltrane v. Penske. For unqualified bragging rights. Head to head, mano a mano, tit a tit!!! (sts)

The race: the granddaddy of them all, the Marathon. 26.2 miles.

The place: the hallowed Boston Marathon.

The date: Patriot’s Day 2007.

The rules:

1. As coffee is for closers, so is Boston for qualifiers, and as such each of the racers can do whichever marathon(s) he or she so chooses to qualify. Qualifying times are only relevant for qualification for Boston 2007 purposes and trash talking, if necessary, warranted or required.

2. If both racers don't qualify by the deadline for qualification (which is to be pursuant to the Boston Athletic Associations’ rules) then the contest is a wash, sts.

3. In the event that one of the racers doesn't qualify then that non-qualifying person loses and must publicly genuflect to the other (qualifying) person on the board and acknowledge the other (qualifying) person as the winner and the unqualifiedly “Superior Runner”; provided however if one of the racers qualifies, but the other does not attempt to qualify due to injury, act of god, extreme pussification etc., that person shall be mocked for being a pussy in perpetuity (or until a head to head race proves otherwise), but the other person does not receive the title as "Superior Runner". Yet.

4. In the event that both racers qualify then the racer with the best official finishing time at Boston is the winner (and failure to start or dnfs= automatic loss as long as the other racer officially finishes) and the loser must publicly genuflect to the other on the board and acknowledge the winner as the unqualifiedly Superior Runner.

5. In the event that the racers tie at Boston there shall be an Overtime 100 meter dash to follow to determine the winner.

6. In addition to the above, the Loser shall also be obligated to buy the winner/Superior Runner drinks and dinner at a place to be determined and in a quality/price range somewhere between Penny's Noodles and Charlie Trotters (2 Chicago legends in deference to Coltrane).

May the best man or woman, atcmb, win.

Penske ("game on") Account

Fuck that. I want to see the loser trampled by bulls.