Missing the Paigow (et al.) [sniff]

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by ironweed
This has been doing the rounds today, modified to replace Chuck Norris with Roy Keane and "roundhouse kick" with "brutal stamp."

Because I know you don't want to register for the site this is on, here's a few not on the list Francis linked to.

If you ask Roy Keane what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he Brutally stamps you in the face.

Roy Keane uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Since 1971, the year Roy Keane was born, Brutally stamping related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

It was once believed that Roy Keane actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Roy Keane himself to lure more pirates to him.

Roy Keane once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a gaelic football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Roy kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

When Roy Keane's wife burned the turkey one Christmas, Roy said, "Don't worry about it darlin'," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a brutal stamping to the face and said, "Never question Roy Keane."

Roy Keane once brutally stamped on someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Roy Keane recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Roy Keane took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity." then you are dead wrong.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Roy Keane to die before they attack.

the boys won one in the penalty (is this the right word?) time? faith and begorra! (IS THAT THE RIGHT PHRASE?)