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08-24-2006, 12:51 PM
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#11
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Random Syndicate (admin)
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Romantically enfranchised
Posts: 14,276
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Pluto- out of here
Quote:
Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
No no no. Pluto is like the paralegal who wants to prove so bad to himself that he is as good as the lawyers at work who most likely ignore him, unless they need something, that he joins a lawyer's board and tries to force them all to notice him.
When he gets ignored there too, he has to prove that he is as good as they are by talking about the money he wastes on expensive suits and shoes, hoping that will get him the kind of respect he so desperately craves. When that fails, he starts to brag about his looks and all the hot women who constantly make it clear to him that they want to have group sex with him because one of them once said, "Excuse me," and touched his shoulder on the subway when they had to get off.
When he meets one of the nicer lawyers on the board for the sole purpose of having her post to the rest of the board about what he looks like, reads the results and is faced with the truth -- that he looks like a fat version of everyone's favorite prop comic (no not Carrot Top, Gallagher!) -- he freaks out and accuses said lawyer of lying, instead of accepting the truth. Then, in a transparent attempt to lash out at her, he makes stuff up because he has no other recourse.
He then asks others to confirm or deny the nice female lawyer's opinion and they stay silent, not wanting to hurt his feelings further and hoping he will go away. He is doomed to be ignored, always wanting desperately to be a lawyer or maybe just to fit in with them, but knowing, deep inside, that he is just plain pathetic.
So sad. Pluto is now being almost completely ignored and yet, there it is, on the outside, circling the rest of the real planets in the dark, cold, forgotten stretches of our solar system, still wishing and hoping that anyone would consider it a planet. <Sniff.> I feel bad for Pluto. Poor, poor, dumb Pluto.
TM
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As I said at the outset: Poor Pluto.
__________________
"In the olden days before the internet, you'd take this sort of person for a ride out into the woods and shoot them, as Darwin intended, before he could spawn."--Will the Vampire People Leave the Lobby? pg 79
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