Quote:
Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
And, as someone pointed out earlier, it suddenly becomes about something more than your needs, or your husbands needs, and becomes about the wee one's needs.
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I seem to be the only one who thinks that people are losing their minds when it comes to their kids.
We need to examine the definition of "needs" when it comes to our kids. I think most everyone confuses things that they want or things that are nice and what we wished we had when we were kids, with what kids actually need.
Kids don't need:
- designer clothing
- every toy under the sun
- their parents to be together in the same house (especially when they're only doing it "for the kids")
- a bunch of extra-curricular activities and classes
- vacations
- lots of other stuff
Kids do need:
- love
- attention
- books
- to be pushed with regard to school work -- and if their school is insufficient, they need you to give them additional work
- time to just play
- sports or some other physical activity
Everyone thinks that children are so fucking fragile. They're not. You can't completely hide the world from them and you'll never be able to protect them from everything. Likewise, you can't expose them to everything under the sun that you wished you had been exposed to and weren't (or were).
If you don't get along with your spouse, you can't hide that from them. And staying together for them is the dumbest idea I can think of. Sure it's stressful if their parents break up. That's life. They'll have to learn to deal with it (and to the extent they need help with that, that's okay too), just like they'll have to learn how to deal with all the other disappointments in life.
We've turned into a country where parents run after their kids trying to keep them from getting dirty, eating dirt, getting bullied, seeing nudity, seeing violence, getting their feelings hurt, etc. That's why so many people are fucking unprepared for life. When I take my daughter to the park, you would be amazed at the parents who follow them around, keeping other kids from playing with their toys ("You tell him that's yours, Betty") and freak out if they fall down even though it's clear they haven't hurt themselves. They have to learn to interact with other fucking people. They have to learn how to play. They have to learn that if they try to be too daring, they'll get hurt. Leave them alone.
And if your kid shows any sign of being different than other kids, they get drugged. What ever happened to being a kid and playing? "Little Johnny can't sit still in class. He keeps playing and is easily distracted. I recommend Ritalin." Oh really? Fuck you. He's a little boy. Of course he can't concentrate. Of course he's easily distracted. That's the nature of kids. Stop being so fucking lazy and do your job. (Of course there are children who need help and would benefit from...blah, blah, blah.)
Kids are tough and resilient. They are little people, not china dolls. All this rejiggering because now you must live your life for your kids is ridiculous. Live your life for your
family and that necessarily includes YOU. You should no more force yourself to do something uneccessary for them than you should force them to do something uneccessary for you. This is why it confuses me that people who don't want to work at a firm or force their wife or husband to work when they don't want to, to pay for private school, a bunch of lessons, equestrian training and expensive kids clothes, etc. Take a job that pays less, with lower demands on your time. Cut all that extra crap out and spend that time with your kids. If the school they're in sucks,
supplement it. Don't drop an extra $15,000-30,000 a year.
People are stupid.
TM
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