Fashion Board 11-2-03 - 12-09-03

[Ptolemy]

Originally posted by Not Me
And 60% of Harvard grads think that it is colder in the winter because the Earth is farther away from the sun. The fact that something is generally accepted says little to nothing about whether it is accurate or not.

I don't know what Harvard is, but don't these people know that the sun stays in a perfect geometrical circular orbit around the earth? Farther away from the sun? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ridiculous!!

[soup sandwich]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
You know, sometimes (more often than not?) the kids themselves pick the gender stereotyped toys. I have a friend with boy/girl twins, and so she has all kinds of toys in the house, and the boy picks the trucks and tractors and blocks more often and the girl picks the dolls and tea set and doll house more often -- and I don't think it's explained by a proprietary sense that they have because those toys were given to that child.

And the little girl is now in an ultra-feminine phase where she wants to wear pink and purple and curl her pigtails so she can flirt with my boyfriend when we visit (that beeyotch!); and the little boy is like a little ball of destruction and I always leave with bruises. (Little girl is actually quite funny -- she flips her hair with her hand and then coyly looks over her shoulder. I still haven't mastered that one without laughing at myself.)

They are actually an interesting study in gender-specific behavior and nature/nurture. And studies do show that hormone exposure in vitro does explain a lot of these behaviors.

And this is just my experience, but none of the ultra feminine little girls that I know are that way because their mothers want it that way, or because their mothers are that way themselves. Kids are funny.

I agree completely. I tend to believe that my 2 year old likes to play with doll babies because it puts her in charge. Instead of her mom or dad changing her diaper or cooking dinner for her, it's she who is doing things for her baby doll. She's not being a simp. She's dishing out orders. She's in charge.

In terms of dresses, she wore a dress at Thanksgiving for the first time in forever and now we can't keep her out of them. So for whatever reason, she has made this choice.

[Pinky]

Originally posted by bilmore
This one is pretty generally accepted amongst those kinds of people who know such things. Specific cites that I might dredge up would be dated, as I've been out of family law for years, but Google it and I bet you find a ton of stuff about it.

It may be generally accepted but I can say from personal experiences that it doesn't work that way. Even if there is no out-and-out conflict, the kids know their parents are unhappy and there is tension in the family. You feel the tension between the parents, even when you're very young. It gets to the point when you don't want to be around both parents at the same time. It also makes you unhappy that your parents are so unhappy. You also start taking sides and decide which parent is at fault and why the marriage isn't working. I blamed my father. I had no relationship with my father until after my parents broke up because I thought he was responsible for my mother's unhappiness. I think people think it's better for the parents to stay together for the kids because it is considered to be the ideal. But if the parents are miserable, the family is miserable.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by purse junkie
I also notice parents holding back their girls more than their boys, all the time, when they get wiggly and start running around or trying to climb something. They don't have to be perfect demure little ladies all the time.

If they're not perfect demure little ladies all the time, won't they bother you when they get ramunctious?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Not Me
Not trying to get you to assimilate yourself into the dominant culture, but, really, is this the best you could do?

No. But it's about 10,000 times more entertaining and informative than anything you've ever posted.

TM

Edited to add: You seem to be improving, though.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by soup sandwich
In terms of dresses, she wore a dress at Thanksgiving for the first time in forever and now we can't keep her out of them. So for whatever reason, she has made this choice.

If I ever have a boy I would like to put him in kilts, especially for big events like the first day of school. He'd be 1/16th Scot so would this be proper (assuming the correct tartan)?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Pinky
Yesterday the Yankees traded Nick Johnson, Juan Rivera and Randy Choate to the Expos for Javier Vasquez. For some reason, everyone is saying they gave up too much by giving up Nick Johnson. Can someone please explain why everyone loves Nick Johnson? From what I've seen he's an average first baseman, a good hitter but a shitty base-runner. I just don't get it.

I think you're a TM tribute sock. Someone is fucking with me.

TM

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
If I ever have a boy I would like to put him in kilts, especially for big events like the first day of school. He'd be 1/16th Scot so would this be proper (assuming the correct tartan)?

Entirely so. But make sure he understands the difference between Scot, Scottish, and Scotch before you do so, or he will have no cred with the other kids in kilts.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Not Me
And 60% of Harvard grads think that it is colder in the winter because the Earth is farther away from the sun.

You use Harvard grads to make this point. Sheesh.

(And, wouldn't it have been quicker to simply type "no, you google it for me"?)

The current crop:

Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially (Doubleday, 2000).

Judith Wallerstein, Julia Lewis, and Sandra Blakeslee, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study (Hyperion, 2000).

Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, The Divorce Culture (Knopf, 1997).

David Popenoe, Life Without Father (The Free Press, 1996).

If your complaint is that they couldn't find a way to specifically quantify conflict, well, duh. To a certain extent, they had to make subjective rankings and assignments. Are you saying that the question is unanswerable because you can't look at a situation and say "that's a 14.27 conflict level"?

[soup sandwich]

Originally posted by Pinky
It may be generally accepted but I can say from personal experiences that it doesn't work that way. Even if there is no out-and-out conflict, the kids know their parents are unhappy and there is tension in the family. You feel the tension between the parents, even when you're very young. It gets to the point when you don't want to be around both parents at the same time. It also makes you unhappy that your parents are so unhappy. You also start taking sides and decide which parent is at fault and why the marriage isn't working. I blamed my father. I had no relationship with my father until after my parents broke up because I thought he was responsible for my mother's unhappiness. I think people think it's better for the parents to stay together for the kids because it is considered to be the ideal. But if the parents are miserable, the family is miserable.

This sort of discussion always reminds of this article from the Onion.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by soup sandwich
[Bond Stuff.]

Dalton sucks. He almost made me stop watching the franchise altogether.

TM

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Dave
Are the Coltrane Friends nattily attired in multicolored spandex, and do they have superpowers?

If not, they should (be).

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Entirely so. But make sure he understands the difference between Scot, Scottish, and Scotch before you do so, or he will have no cred with the other kids in kilts.

Should I have written 1/16th Scots (because Scot is noun form and Scots the adjective)?

Scottish is for objects (and terriers), correct?

And can the kid wear a diaper under a kilt? Or do I have to go with the newfangled method of non potty training that is all the rage among some Chinese parents?

Where the fuck are Atticus and BRC?

[Pinky]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I think you're a TM tribute sock. Someone is fucking with me.

TM

Uh, no but I'll take that to mean you agree with me.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by bilmore
Unless you are beating each other in front of the kids, I'd have to disagree on this one. Studies are pretty clear that staying together (in the absence of true, out-and-out conflict, of course), results in happier, better-adjusted kids.

I'm skeptical about these studies. I'm sure they exist, but how does one measure in a study happiness and being well-adjusted? I guess they can ask a bunch of people and base their findings on who is and isn't in therapy, but how do they determine what everyone's household is like? Too many variables.

I can only base my findings on the few friends I have. And it seems like each of them knew their parents didn't like each other (in that way) anymore and always blamed themselves. (And yez, I understand kids tend to blame themselves for their parents divorcing too.) But my friends who are a product of divorce (and there are quite a few), may have gone through some rough times initially, but settled into the new situation nicely. I would imagine being in a household where the love between the parents is long gone is an ongoing pain in the ass (like Not Me).

TM